Return of the Blogger Part One

Let's see what could have been going on since last I blogged. Oh... not much I guess. The family still lives in the great state of Texas and we still only have three kids and we plan to stay that way. The mortgage company I worked for has been sold to a much bigger bank and the kids are bigger than ever. So now that we have caught up, on to some amusing stories from the last several months/year.

As those of you use to read my travels remember, the world around me tends to deal some things that make me laugh. Recently I was granted the opportunity (forced at gunpoint) to travel to California for my prison sentence ( I mean job). The trip out there began with Charlie the redneck cap driver. He is the cab driver that my boss uses when he goes back and forth to California on an almost weekly basis. As my boss is a very sophisticated man I expected a new clean cab and an older well groomed man. Charlie was not that man. Charlie arrived at my house on time dressed in cowboy boots, jeans, suspenders, and a cowboy hat. Charlie's cab smelled like maybe deoderant was not a requirement to ride in his cab. It also appeared that the last time the seats had been cleaned was right after the last rider got sick as Charlie placed the cab on two wheels rushing his fare to the airport. The final moment was when Charlie upon delievering me slightly naucious to the airport announced that in order to cover the tip we would just round the fare from $41.00 to $50.00. Now I planned to tip enough to cover his purchase of an evergreen tree to hang from the mirror and maybe a stick of right guard but $9.00 seemed a little steep.

The trip greatly improved when I got bumped to First Class. Nothing better than thinking you will be next to the man with the moldy toes in sandals to being placed in the big seats upfront. They even served a hot breakfast and all of the soda or tea or whatever I could drink. A word to the wise though is that when they do that and we drink all you can drink about half way throught the flight you will need to use the corner with a door they call a bathroom. When you're on the larger size it actually is better if you keep the soda can and use it as you will have an easier time then cramming into the bathroom. Then say your neighbor has fallen asleep and you get to do the pee pee dance in your seat for three hours. The only good thing is that upon arrival at the airport the bathrooms were next to gate. Disaster avoided!!

So the rest of trip was rather uneventful other than my boss attempting to poision me at a brazilian place in our great hunt to see Thomas Magnum. Seems that he lives close to the restaurant we ate at. All I know is that if he did he must have not had what I had because it was killer almost.

Upon my arrival at the airport for my return trip home I was still feeling weak and was very tired. I was trying to find something that would brighten my mood and then like a gift from God there they were. As I am sure you are all aware the pig flu (swine to be exact) has been going around. Now the news media may have made a mountain out of a pig pen but most people realized that if you stayed away from people who had recently visited ole mexico and their pigs/swine then you would not catch it. Obvousily these travelers had not recieved their CNN update because there they sat legs crossed and masks firmly in place. It was my great fortune that they were in front of me as we began to board the plane. It was then that a mysterious sneezing and coughing fit overcame me. As I sneezed and coughed practically on the back of their heads I kept mumbeling to myself something to the effect of "I sure hope that the trip to Mexico City to visit those orphans did not give me anything". For some reason that coupled with my constant sneezing and coughing caused them to recoil everytime. To my surprise and delight this lovely couple sat across the aisle a row in front of me. This allowed me to maintain my game for three hours. For those of you who beleive me to be cruel I think that God has placed in me the desire to spread joy to the world or at least entertain myself on a three hour flight.

So with that I return to my wife and my three wonderful kids. She found my story amusing and thankfully she gets me. Aint it great. I will post some kid pictures soon. Until then rememeber that I am back!!!! And I am sure I missed you more than you missed this blog!