Well it is finished at 9:20 this morning my dad's struggle with this disease ended. He entered the hospital last night with severe breathing issues and a lot of pain and this morning with Tom and his wife Loretta there he took his last breath. I think that when things like this are about to happen God gives us a sixth sense. All week I had a feeling that something bad was about to happen concerning his health then last night Tom called and said they were taking him in. Then a short time later Kim said take a look at some flights just in case. And by 10:00 last evening Kim told me they were giving just a couple of days to live. As I flew to Ohio this morning my one thought was I just need to be there. Just to tell him once more that I love him and that no matter what ups and downs our relationship has had over the years he was and always will be my dad. Unfortunately, I did not make it there in time. As I sat in his hospital room staring into the empty shell that was once my dad all I could remember were the good times. The times that made me laugh, the times that he would hug me and give me one of his overly wet sloppy kisses and tell me he loved me. Those are the things I will miss. His life in many ways will be considered a time of missed opportunities with his children but in an odd sort of way it has made me cherish the moments we did have even more.
So as I lay down to try and get some sleep tonight, I wonder what tomorrow will have in store as we continue the process of laying him to rest. Tonight I will close my eyes and hope that he knows just how much he meant to all of us even though our days together were far to short. So tonight my heart aches and I am sad but as we are promised our God is there to carry us when we are not sure we have the strength to go on. I am blessed to have a wife who has been there all day today and listened to me even when I was not making sense. She has been my rock in the last 24 hours and keeps me going when I just don't want to go on. A daughter who has a soft, kind heart who cried for me and then got busy making a note to send with a balloon into heaven so that Grandpa would know she loved him and that she would miss him. And a sister, brothers and mom who have made me laugh and cry today. No one can have a better support team then I have. God has richly blessed me and for that I am forever thankful.
9 comments:
I love you and I wish we didn't have to go through this.
Since i talked to kristena yesterday, i've been thinking of you all day. Know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Together ya can get through the next few days. Just know he's in a happy and healthier place and finally at peace. I love you and will be thinking of you. Leslie.
John, Our love and prayers are with you and the family. I know that no words can express your sorrow what you are feeling. But we have been there and it does get better with time. Just keep remembering the good times!! As we go through life we often come up to something that immediately we think boy, I wish dad Grate were here, he would know how to fix that! Then we just have to smile and remember the wonderful times that we had with him! Our home is open to you all if you need any beds or places to just crash for awhile! We love you and are praying for you!!
Marsha & Keever
John- I'm so sorry. I have no doubts that your Dad knew how much you loved him. You will all be in my prayers. Love you!
We love you Kid's. You seem like our own. And I know Your Dad Knew you loved him. But I think I know how you feel as thats how I felt after my Mom passed away. I asked God to please help her to know that I loved her very much. I don't think we lose anyone and feel that we have told them enough that we loved them. Somehow God feels our pain and lifts that pain so we can go on and help others. Love Grandma
John- we love you and will be praying for you. I couldn't be sorrier that you guys have to deal with such pain. I know that the prayers of so many will carry you through. Give all your family a hug from Michigan Grates!
This experience was extremely difficult to watch. I felt helpless to comfort you or could not find the right words to help. But I would like to say I am so proud of the fine man that you have become. Not afraid to show your emotions, not afraid to help and comfort your family and willing to admit what an awful thing to have to go through.
Thank you for allowing me to be with you during this sad time. I will always greive the loss of a failed marriage.
Love you Mom
been praying for you
Praying for you.
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