Well what have you got to say.....

That is what I am thinking right now. What do I have to say? What is there to write about.....Well we are still waiting for the arrival of baby Lauren. Kristena is ready to have this baby now but the baby is enjoying her current home in her belly and seems to be in no hurry to come on out and meet the rest of the family. The last few weeks have been incredible as we watch her stretch out and see her little arms and feet poke out of her belly. It amazes me that inside Kristena's belly is a new life. Something that one day will be all we are and more. I look at Kaitlyn and Tyler and my hopes and dreams for them are so much more than they can even imagine right now. Tonight, I was telling Kristena that at work today during an unusually long meeting I started daydreaming (I wonder if that is what Bill Gates does during a meeting?) about what it will be like to take Kaitlyn to college for the first time. The dream was so vivid (I sure hope I did not actually go to sleep) that I decided we needed to have a plan, so I started sketching it out on paper. First she can only go to a college where every semester they have a parents weekend, that way we can "legally" check in on her. Then I would like it to be a Christian college(too many "party"boys at big schools) then I remembered Kristena saying that it can't be anymore than an hour from home. Well that ruled out every college around us.... soooo I realized it would be easier and cheaper if she just did correspondence courses from a room in our house because by the time I factored in her tuition, room and board, books, tracking chip in her purse, backpack, cell phone and car (not to mention the full-time body guard to keep the boys away) we can't afford for her to go any other way. I have reviewed my plan several times and Kristena thinks that maybe I have gone a little overboard but I think that it is just me being practical. As Kristena keeps reminding me our children will want to live close to us forever so this plan may just work for us.

The other thing I seem to be thinking about a lot lately is my weight. Everyday I realize that my stomach and practically every other part of me is getting larger and larger. I went to the gym a couple of weeks ago and I realized that I currently have reached a mass that I may actually qualify as a small planet. If I get any larger I think I will actually start to have a gravitational pull and will at some point have smaller people pulled in around me. Now that would be embarassing but it would give me the appearance of being really popular. But onto my point and I think I have one. I have been wondering what to do with my new found largeness and I think that I have no choice but to lose it. You see there is nothing worse than being so big that you get wedged into a booth at a restaurant or when you belly gets so large that in a heavy rain storm you can actually see where the water sweeps off your gut and like the edges of a roof forces the water out over your waist past your thighs and smacks you square on the knees. So I started researching how to make this roundness become more ovalish. All the websites say you should start by making a journal of what you eat so I started to think back to Friday of last week:

Breakfast- Cereal Bar and Water
Mid-Morning Snack- Yogurt bar more water
Then it all went bad......really, really, really bad
Lunch- Two Roast beef sandwhiches with Cheese and Mayo, 8 chicken wings, a small salad (that's healthy right), five glasses of sweet tea, a couple handfuls of chips, a one huge piece of baby shower cake
Mid-Afternoon Snack- 4 more chicken wings and a glass of diet of coke (thought I should be careful)
Dinner- Salad Bar at Ruby Tuesdays, a steak and fries, and 4 glasses of Sprite....and oh a ice cream cone from Chick Fil A before we picked the kids up from parents night out

The count of calories 1,007,006: total fat grams 90,750. Based on that I would have to run around the entire planet 11 times to burn the calories I ate that day. Factor in the fact that I am so heavy that running would cause a heart attack or my knees to explode it would take me 70 years to burn off Friday's meals. But as my sister Kim and I always say I really don't think my eating habits have anything to do with my sudden weight gain do you? Well anyway I have declared today the end of the cycle (like I haven't done that before) and the weight loss challenge is being launched now or as soon as I finish the ice cream in the freezer. So those of you need some motivation or want take a few pounds off today begins the Big John weight loss challenge. Each week or so I will post the losses on the ole blog and let's see if that will help keep my accountable. Anyone who would like to join me in my newest attempt to look more like Brad Pitt than John Candy or Chris Farley please feel free to join me. I would post my current weight but I am trying to figure out if I put it out there in kg if it will seem smaller. Anyway, I have been working on this so long that I am starting to forget what else I have to say. By the way congrats to all of you Colts fans for winning the superbowl. It would have been a better game if the Bears would have played a quarterback but hey it was great to see you all win one.