August 22, 2006

Growing Old Gracefully.....






Ever hear that phrase used. Usually you say that as it relates to someone who is about my mom's age you know 80 or so. But as I have crossed into my mid-thirties I realize that this is simply a lie. At least in my case. It would seem that I am aging like lettuce ages gracefully in the frig over the span of a week. For those of you have not seen it then you did not have the opportunity to open the frig in our house when I was a kid. But onto my point. It would seem that as I have begun the aging process some strange things have begun to happen. It all started with the grey hair. Now on some grey is distinguished. My uncle Keever looks great with grey hair. I however have not been so blessed. I just look like someone who time has not been kind to. Then the other day I learned an important lesson that grey hair has different rules than regular hair especially as it relates to your eye brows(?). This became apparent the other day as I glanced at myself in the mirror while washing my hands at work. It would seem that most eye hair lays nice and flat unless it is grey. Once it turns grey it begins to form its own pattern. The pattern that my grey hair had decided to form was that of horns above each eye. How long they had been that way I did not know but my eyes had horns!!!! As soon as I got home I waited for my loving wife to share with me that my eyes had horns but not a word. It would seem that she looked at me everyday and did not notice the horns above each of my eyes. So that night as she laid in bed I did what any strong manly man would do and I tweezed the grey right out of my eye brows and gave them a wonderful arched look. I now look a little like Vestal Goodman without the teased hair. If I ever decided to relive the moment when I dressed as Mimi from the Drew Carey Show for Halloween I would be half way there. Kristena did not notice the horns were gone but if one of my tweezed hairs would have wrapped itself around her tooth brush I'll bet that would have made her take notice.

The next horrible thing that happens at least to me is the addition of ear hair. Now I must say that this is the last place I thought I would sprout a hair. And it is not like it is just one hair that I can pluck and never worry about it again. Oh no, no it seems to be more of a recurring issue. The worse part of it is that is actually impossible to pluck them with out crying because it feels like it is connected to the hair that has mysteriously sprouted up on my toes. So if I try and pluck an ear hair it causes my leg to jerk up the air. Which would be fine if I was flexible but I am not and I pull a hamstring everytime I try and yank one of those bad boys out. I saw the other day that Mark Lowry used Nair on his ears something that I may need to try. So if you ever call the house and Kristena tells you that I am Naring my ears don't laugh it is probably true. After all of that I tried to look on the bright side if I ever go bald I'll just let it and my back hair really grow out and create a really weird comb over. The problem is that all of the hair in my ears and on my back is turning grey to so I won't make me look any younger. I guess I should have paid more attention to my great uncles at our family reunions and realized that one day there I to would go. Hang one second I need to pick my ear wax out with one of my car key's.......Ahh now that's better. Nothing like scratching a whole in your ear drum with your car keys to make the time pass.

Tonight would not be complete without a couple kids stories and a few pictures. So let's start with Kaitlyn. She started 1st grade and just finished basketball season. She started the season as probably one of the least experienced and least intense players on the team. By the end of the season she actually went after a few loose balls and made a shot....during warm ups. Now that may not seem like a big deal but compared to where she started this was monumental. She could dribble and shoot and really liked it when the season finished. She can not wait for next season to start. I think one of the highlights of the year was watching her when she was not really all that interested in the game as she danced and sang the songs from Disney's High School Musical. The game was being played all around her and yet there she was twisting around, clapping and just singing along to the music playing in her mind as the other team dribbled by her. When we would ask her about it she would just smile. Nothing makes you smile more than watching your daughter off in her own world while all the time 9 other 6-7 year olds were trying to play a game of basketball. Gotta love her!

Then there is the little man. He has decided that he wants to be the next Food TV chef. The other night I was making Chili(I know 115 degrees in Florida and I am making Chili ask my unborn child why) and he drags one of our kitchen chairs over to the counter and says "I cook with you Dad". I thought that meant he just wanted to watch me cook. Oh no by the time I got done cutting the peppers and onions he needed his own pan with his own utensils and was making onion peel and peppers soup. So everytime after that if I go into the kitchen to make a sandwich he drags his chair over to the counter and says "I need to cook". It is hard to get him to leave the counter after he is done especially if he thinks that Kristena or I are going to start cooking something else.

Well that's all I got tonight sorry it is not much but hey I need to get into the bathroom to pluck my brows, trim my nose hair and try and die my hair (the ones on my chest, back and arms and that is a lot of hair). Getting old ain't easy and it sure isn't pretty. Love to all.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are so funny. Miss all of you very much and feel bad that i haven't called much lately. Just have alot going on right now and i know that's not a good reason. I will get better. Give everyone a hug from me and tell Kristena to hug you from me. lol. Love, Grandma Huskey

Anonymous said...

You crack me up!! You and Keever have a lot in common. He has some eyebrows that are out of control and doesn't seem to care. They do have that little hair clipper that helps keep unwanted hairs under control.:) The pictures of the kids are so cute. Keep them coming!! Miss you and hope to see you soon!
Love,
Aunt Marsha

Kim said...

Seeing pictures makes me miss your kids even more. I can't wait to see them. I am a little fearful that if you are plucking gray hairs that you will be completely bald and have no eyebrows with bandaids taped to your ears. I am not sure I want my kids to see that!

I love you...you need to blog more often it is horrible checking everyday and seeing the same post.
Love your sis.......

Anonymous said...

Somehow having you discuss our refrigerator makes even me shutter.
Your inhertitance from your dad is the gray hair. Maybe you can be called the Silver King?
Plucking I have been told causes your gray hair to multiply. HMMMM may want to ponder that before you get pluck happy.
Can't wait to see you both but it won't be the same without Kaitlyn and Kristina plus baby grape. Kaitlyn's picture on the basketball court said it all. I think ballet is a better fit. Tyler has that mischievious look and by the time he starts kindergarten he will be making big daddy's chili.
Love ya your mom

Ps Tell the kids Grandma Jones (MOP) loves them.

Jason Grate- Ordinary Extraordinary- Simple Stories of Lessons learned said...

Jason also has 2 very unruly eyebrow hairs as well.... Must run in the family!

Kelley said...

Hey John! Sorry I haven't commented sooner. It's been a busy first week back to school. This post was very funny. It's not just the men in our family who struggle with excess hair issues. Emmy has asked me twice why I have hair on my arms like boys do. This little one is so good for my self esteem, it's not even funny. :) Miss Ya!

Anonymous said...

Funny you mention dressing up like Mimi because I can produce that picture if you'd like.