Big John's Random Thoughts

A quick post about my sister

2009-12-13T22:49:00.005-06:00

Awhile ago I was going to post this about my sister Kim. She went through what I would term a messy divorce. I don't know why I never posted it but I feel like now is a good time to post it. I love my sister and that does not mean that we don't fight or get angry with one another but she will always be my little sister. Anyway what I wrote...

So as many of you know my sister is going through a divorce. It is tough for her and for her boys. And rather than dwell on the things that are transpiring and pointing out that in times of stress and great conflict we find the true character of those around us I realized how much all of this makes me appreciate who my sister is. My sister and I have always been close my mom claims that we share a brain. I don't know that I would agree although we can finish each others thoughts. She is the funniest person I know and one of the few people who can make me belly laugh. So as I watch from my hut here in Texas as she struggles with what to do I am amazed on all she continues to try to do. How do I help transition my family from 4 to 3? How do I explain to my boys what is happening without turning their dad into the bad guy even if some of his decisions are not in their best interest? How do I share my struggles with people without them taking a side?

As her brother I watch helplessly not knowing what to tell her what can I do to help her. I want the best for her and in some small (more small somedays than other) the best for him. I wish that my baby sister did not have to walk this journey without me there to help her and I wish she did not have to make these decisions without a map of what the future will look like. I wish many things that I can not make happen but one thing that makes me sleep a little better at night is that my sister is strong. When I went through some of the toughest times in my life when I did not see an end to my trials she was right there. She picked me up and made me laugh or just listened when I was ready to give up. I beleive that people may underestimate her determination and her desire to insure that her boys are taken care of. I hope that at the end of the day that God will give her the peace that He has his hand in her and the boys life and that He will insure they are provided for even if money isn't there and the situation may seem hopeless.

So while I will continue to worry about her, I know that she has the strength of character, strength in God and the capacity to do anything. One day I hope I can grow up to be just like her.

Return of the Blogger Part One

2009-05-14T22:20:00.003-05:00

Let's see what could have been going on since last I blogged. Oh... not much I guess. The family still lives in the great state of Texas and we still only have three kids and we plan to stay that way. The mortgage company I worked for has been sold to a much bigger bank and the kids are bigger than ever. So now that we have caught up, on to some amusing stories from the last several months/year.

As those of you use to read my travels remember, the world around me tends to deal some things that make me laugh. Recently I was granted the opportunity (forced at gunpoint) to travel to California for my prison sentence ( I mean job). The trip out there began with Charlie the redneck cap driver. He is the cab driver that my boss uses when he goes back and forth to California on an almost weekly basis. As my boss is a very sophisticated man I expected a new clean cab and an older well groomed man. Charlie was not that man. Charlie arrived at my house on time dressed in cowboy boots, jeans, suspenders, and a cowboy hat. Charlie's cab smelled like maybe deoderant was not a requirement to ride in his cab. It also appeared that the last time the seats had been cleaned was right after the last rider got sick as Charlie placed the cab on two wheels rushing his fare to the airport. The final moment was when Charlie upon delievering me slightly naucious to the airport announced that in order to cover the tip we would just round the fare from $41.00 to $50.00. Now I planned to tip enough to cover his purchase of an evergreen tree to hang from the mirror and maybe a stick of right guard but $9.00 seemed a little steep.

The trip greatly improved when I got bumped to First Class. Nothing better than thinking you will be next to the man with the moldy toes in sandals to being placed in the big seats upfront. They even served a hot breakfast and all of the soda or tea or whatever I could drink. A word to the wise though is that when they do that and we drink all you can drink about half way throught the flight you will need to use the corner with a door they call a bathroom. When you're on the larger size it actually is better if you keep the soda can and use it as you will have an easier time then cramming into the bathroom. Then say your neighbor has fallen asleep and you get to do the pee pee dance in your seat for three hours. The only good thing is that upon arrival at the airport the bathrooms were next to gate. Disaster avoided!!

So the rest of trip was rather uneventful other than my boss attempting to poision me at a brazilian place in our great hunt to see Thomas Magnum. Seems that he lives close to the restaurant we ate at. All I know is that if he did he must have not had what I had because it was killer almost.

Upon my arrival at the airport for my return trip home I was still feeling weak and was very tired. I was trying to find something that would brighten my mood and then like a gift from God there they were. As I am sure you are all aware the pig flu (swine to be exact) has been going around. Now the news media may have made a mountain out of a pig pen but most people realized that if you stayed away from people who had recently visited ole mexico and their pigs/swine then you would not catch it. Obvousily these travelers had not recieved their CNN update because there they sat legs crossed and masks firmly in place. It was my great fortune that they were in front of me as we began to board the plane. It was then that a mysterious sneezing and coughing fit overcame me. As I sneezed and coughed practically on the back of their heads I kept mumbeling to myself something to the effect of "I sure hope that the trip to Mexico City to visit those orphans did not give me anything". For some reason that coupled with my constant sneezing and coughing caused them to recoil everytime. To my surprise and delight this lovely couple sat across the aisle a row in front of me. This allowed me to maintain my game for three hours. For those of you who beleive me to be cruel I think that God has placed in me the desire to spread joy to the world or at least entertain myself on a three hour flight.

So with that I return to my wife and my three wonderful kids. She found my story amusing and thankfully she gets me. Aint it great. I will post some kid pictures soon. Until then rememeber that I am back!!!! And I am sure I missed you more than you missed this blog!

A quick update

2008-05-05T22:10:00.002-05:00

For those of you wondering what has happened to us here is brief update. Still in TX still breathing still have three kids and still missing all of you. It is nearing the end of the many exciting times here in our house. Once leaves second grade and heads to third grade and one is finishing his first year at pre-school. Kaitlyn has really learned alot. Reading and books are her hobbies and she loves to read to the little ones. Tyler has learned most of his colors in english and spanish as well as counting to ten in both languages. He has also decided that he is my little man. He has cried everyday I have gone to work for the past two weeks. Not sure why but he is my little man. Lauren is getting bigger everyday and we can not beleive that she is 14 months old. Andrea enjoy every minute because before you know it they are telling you not to walk them into the school but just to drop them off.

Not a whole lot else has been going on. Kaitlyn and I had the opportunity to go and see Avalon, Michael English, the Daniel Doss Band and Cadia. It was great. Thanks to a bad promoter the did not sell many tickets so we got front row seats right in front of the stage. It was awesome. If you get the chance to see any of them I would recommend them all. As most of you know I want to sing like Michael English when I get to heaven. I will say that his portion of the concert was the most moving as he shared what the last 14 or so years have been like. Never did he pull any punches but simply stated that he where he had been what it was like to get out of it and the struggles it presented for him. He only did three songs but no one seemed to mind. Avalon was incredible and Jeremi (I know with an I) was a great addition and I have not hit some of those notes since I was 8. The Daniel Doss band was great and Cadia was just getting started but did a great job. They were Kaitlyn's favorites because they are only in their teens. Anyway hope you all are well and I will write more when I can.

Here are some pics.

Ramblin Back into Bloggin

2008-02-09T21:25:00.000-06:00

So I bet you are wondering where I have been. If your snot I mean not then why not. It has been since Thanksgiving since I last visited the blog land and not one note of concern was posted. No 911 calls to police to insure that me and the fam were okay. Now I attribute that to two things:

1) Someone of you know my mom and she has kept you up to date on the happs down here in the big D. Telephone, Telegraph, Tele Carolyn

2) You feared that you would be arrested when the police found that we were well and that I was just too lazy to get a new one posted

Now what we have here is too much information to share in one blog because well we had the Christmas holiday and then New Years the sale of the house in Florida and finally the celebration of Kaitlyn's birthday and the daddy daughter dance. So I will attempt to be brief so we better dive in.

Let's start with the holidays. Much to my surprise we had a very cold christmas. But it was great. This year we decided that we would go with a theme and we did the Chevy Chase classic National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. I played the roll of Eddie and boy let me tell you trying to find V neck sweater in 3X plus the white dickie was hard(not a real big seller I found out). But after my third trip to thrift store I struck gold. The hardest part was trying to wrangle the squirrel to put in the tree but thanks to a couple lucky Texas cowboys we were able to catch a three legged one we called stubby. Now before all of you animal activists out there think we electricuted little stubby in order to burn the tree up like in the movie we did not. We actually lured him out by rubbing some peanut butter on the back of Tyler's pants and boy do squirrel's love peanut butter. Thankfully with stubby only having three legs Tyler was able to stay away until we reinacted that scene and we could get stubby back in his cage. Actually stubby as we found out was not a he but a she (didn't think to check that) and we are now the proud grandparents of 6 little squirrels(we named after all my favorite cousins we have shaved all of the hair of the one named Jason I pierced both of his ears but he scratched the tar out of me). Finally, we reinacted the meal with Snot the dog. Now we really did not want that large of a dog underneath our table so we got one of the nieghbors down the street with a really bad cold and awful gas to play the role. What a time we had!!!

But really the kids got way to many gifts and we are blessed more than we probably deserve. We actually spent Christmas day with Kristena's grandparents which was great. They are great people and make being away from my crazy family during the holidays a little easier. It almost feels like I am with them when they bust out the card games. Now should Kristena's grandpa and grandmother try to get you to play by pretending that it will be just a friendly game don't let them fool you. They are card sharks. I won the first hand we played and for the rest of the game they shut me down at every turn. That would have been fine except it was $100 a piece just to get in the game and $50 a hand. Kristena and I had to sign over Kaitlyn's first year of college tuition before they would let us leave. (i am just kidding of course they wouldn't gamble on Christmas but they did charge us $10 a head for lunch : ))

We then had what I will term the Family Christmas at Kristena's grandparents the following weekend. We had to wait until after Christmas because my sister said she was coming but she had to wait until after Christmas when Wayne would be released from jail. It seems that Wayne has been parking in handicap spaces again and this time they had had enough. So off to jail they took him the funny part is they put him in the handicap cell with the bigger bathroom and the hand rails. He kept insisting he really was handicapped but when he jumped on the unicycle and jugggled fire in nude they thought he was crazy but because he had not registered with the proper agency so off to jail he went. Well that's not true either but really who can tell anymore. Anyway the truth is that Kristena's grandparents again crowded 1,100 people into their house. But this time I saw how Kristena's grandmother made enough food for everyone. The secret is......takeout! I saw her throwing away 1.100 Wendy's wrappers in the trash. No wonder I like her family so much that is something my mom would do. "Here kids" she would say "enjoy your home cooked Thansgiving meal from the local grocery store." Or we don't think we should cook this year all we do is end up with that full feeling that you get from eating real food. Let's all got to the pole barn with the Carosel and we can arm wrestle the people who's oven broke on Thanksgiving day for the wishbone. Oh by the way we had an awesome time at my Grandparent In Laws for Christmas both times. The kids love it and can't wait for us to leave them there.

Now onto more current events. Do want to know what the best part of living in Texas is??????????????(sorry button stuck) It is the TV schedule!!!!!!! Everything here comes on an hour earlier than it did in Florida or Ohio or anywhere else that is on the silly Eastern Time thingy. So Kaitlyn and I only had to stay up until 11:00 to watch Dick Clark drop the ball down the building. And did any else think that we could feed a whole bunch of people if we used a tennis ball from Wal-Mart instead of a Billion Dollar crystal ball that has 2.00 dollar lights from CVS strung through it. Did anyone who was on TV know it was that expensive? It is dark out shoot as much weight as I put on during the holidays I am almost a circle wrap me in lights and will slide that pole at Midnight singing It's a Whole New World.

Now we are onto Kaitlyn's 8th Birthday party. For all of you that have made this far in one sitting you are truly crazy, or a glutton for punishment but either way thanks. Now each year we have had some sort of party for Kaitlyn. I say every year but last year. Last year we decided to help the Disney machine take over the world and we took her to Disney World. This year we decided that we would have her party at our house.(Cue the ominious music) So we let Kaitlyn invite all 11 girls in her class along with the cute little neighbor girl who she plays with who is only 5 to her party. Thinking that most will not come..... All but one girl RSVP'd. Have you ever had 12 eight year old in your house with a Karoke maching playing songs from High School Musical??? If you get the chance don't! The only illustration I have is it is probably like if you jammed your head into the middle of a jet engine then told the pilot to give it some gas while listening to the greatest hits from the dump truck. I mean it was unbelievable. And they are like vultures. I have never seen that much food disappear since I followed a local wieght watchers group hit the Golden Corral right after wiegh in. And they are demanding. One little girl, let's call her bossy and her friend rude asked me after eating everything that wasn't nailed down if I knew how to make a milk shake and if so would I make her one???? What you just ate pizza, chips, cake, two end tables and part of the love seat and now you want a milk shake!? I might have made it for her except she ate both the handles of the fridge and I could not get it open. The important thing is that Kaitlyn had a blast. We can buy more furniture and I am sure Tyler and Lauren will not be afraid everytime someone says pizza. The important thing is that we made a memory that she will treasure for a life time.

Finally, there was tonight. I had the priveldge to escort miss Kaitlyn to the annual Daddy/Daughter dance at her school. It was a blast! She got to go get her hair done and then we had the helicopter pick us up at the house.( not really we drove the minivan) She was beatiful and I am quite honored that she has let me be her dad. Five+ years ago she and Kristena became a part of my life. She was this tiny little girl that was quiet all the time but was full of spunk. She is slowly turning into this young lady that has her own opinons on everything from the music she likes to the things I wear. I can not imagine a day without her being a part of my life.

Anyway I am voting for me in the presidental election because I think I would do I good job. Can't you imagine me settling the problems around the budget? Boys what we need to do is just shut the oven door and throw those pans out. If you can't cleanem you can't keep'em. Enjoy the pics and remember alot of this blog is based on something that might be somewhat true.

Goodbye to Turkey Day and Hello Black Friday!

2007-11-25T20:55:00.000-06:00

Well as most of you have realized Thanksgiving is over. If you have not realized it then we need to have you checked. We had a lovely day at Kristena's grandparents with her side of the family. Her side of the family includes two aunts with two husbands (not apiece) 11 cousins, one cousin in law and her grandmother and grandpa. It made for quite a crew. Her grandparents decided that there were to many people to crowd around two tables and so we split into several different crowds. Married more than 10 years and/or over the age of "40" (wink, wink) in the main dining room. Married less than 10 years and under the age of 40 still in the house but at the kitchen table. Everybody else ate in the garage. Including Kaitlyn and Tyler the two youngest and as of right now the only great grand children. Lauren was sleeping/screaming in the back bedroom as we all chowed down. A very efficient manner of seating and allowed the conversation not to go from the Disney channel to what ever current event was going on. It was great to get to know everyone a little better and the food was awesome. I did wonder how you plan to feed that many people. I think that it is like a bible lesson. Kristena's grandmother took one little ham and fed the 5,000 it was a really a miracle. The greatest miracle occurred later in the day when Kristena's aunt Kelley got her to actually play a card game. For those of you who know her Kristena has never been a card player but she actually held her own. The kids had a blast and they loved playing with "the cousins" who they had not seen in a long time.

The last turkey miracle I think was practical joke from the big guy upstairs. It snowed. After all of my bragging about the weather over the last two years God decided that he would finally listen to the prayers of my family and give me a what I had coming to me and it snowed. Now if all of you can manage to make that happen how about we use our powers for good and get that house in JAX sold. Come on people focus!

Another miracle occurred the day after Thanksgiving and my little, itty, bitty sister turned something... anyway it was her birthday. Now I would normally know how old she is by simply adding one to what she turned last year but truthfully a lot has happened and for the life of me I don't remember if she turned 30 or 31 last year. All I know if that she is crazy and she is my sister so I can say that. She will be here on Dec. 22ND don't tell Kristena its a surprise. Kristena loves surprises I am sure she will love having all of my family here through the holidays. (just kidding maybe)

In my recent tradition I braved the morning crowds and headed out for some sale items at Super Target on Black Friday. Now to understand how it went let's just say the store opened at six and I was home by 6:15. You wonder why would a smart, handsome and fairly intelligent person like me want with those types of crowds. All I have to say is "FLAT SCREEN TV". I convinced (berated and begged) Kristena until she finally agreed that this was a sound purchase. So got up and headed out into the cold and it was cold 37 degrees when I left the house and picked the side of the store where they were stacking them when we did out recon the day before Thanksgiving. As the doors opened we were off. I headed to where my intelligence had told me they would be stacked but alas they were not so I ran towards(lumbered is more like it) electronics. And there they were. But by the time I had shoved the two old ladies over in front of me the bearded women with the pierced eye brow and the breath that smelled like cigarettes and two day old coffee had tagged the last one. As I saw her bellow out to her toothless husband to back the house up to the door that she got the TV I became somewhat angry. Not just because she was picking her teeth that were in her hand with a piece of something she had pulled from her bra strap no it was that Target had not seen fit to make sure that there were enough of these deals to go around. So in an effort to salvage my morning I headed to the toy section where several parents were busy replacing the joy of Santa Claus for the children with the battle cries of "GRAB THAT ITS THE LAST ONE SON!" or "DID YOU SHE HER SHE TOOK THAT RIGHT OUT OF MY HAND". That's because these parents felt it was okay to drag their little ones out into the cold at 5:00 to stand in line with no coats to have them fight for toys. The worst situation was the new mom with her new baby no hat, no gloves who was standing in line in the 37 degree weather. I don't mean to judge but I think that there is nothing worth all of that. Kristena and I have decided that from now on we are making the kids and each other all of our presents out of left over pasta. I have made her a nice Macaroni necklace with a matching bracelet that I think she will love. I had to lick the sauce off it but that is love right?

So let's see so far we have Great Thanksgiving, Black Friday Blues, and oh.... I should inform everyone about my recent medical problem. It is not life threatening but is quite uncomfortable. It is most painful when I walk on it. It is called brace yourselves it is shocking "Dry Toe". It is an ailment that effects the big toe in my case on my left foot. It causes the skin to dry out to the point of cracking causing severe if not debilitating pain especially if your sock rubs against it. I am currently on an aggressive and hopefully successful treatment plan of lotion rubbed onto the affected area 3 times daily. It is a little embarrassing to whip my sock off at Applebee's but the Doctor said if I don't treat it could spread to my other toes and eventually cause "dry foot" which is harder to cure. Your prayer and financial support would be appreciated. I have contacted Benny Hinn ministries and sent in a dish towel to have him pray over it but have heard nothing back.

Well that is it. I need to perform the final treatment before bed and it is getting late. I thought I would leave you with a few pictures of the kids actually just of Lauren you parents know what it is like she is our shiny new penny and well we have a short attention span and forget to take pictures of the other two. Kaitlyn is doing great and school and got straight A's for the first nine weeks. Tyler is still trying to convince the world that Christmas should be pronounced as "CHRIST" mas. Maybe he will be a preacher someday. Little Lauren is crawling all over the place and has a little cold. Between her cold and my Dry Toe we sure have had it rough these last couple of weeks. Well I am off to bed. Hope you all had your fill of turkey over the holidays and found one thing to be thankful for.

PS Please quit praying for the snow and cold weather it was funny at first but not so much now!

Fall in Florida... I mean Texas or whereever we are!

2007-11-03T15:48:00.000-05:00

Well it is fall and unlike Florida we actually have that season here in the Big D. It has been cool enough a couple nights to kick the heat on which means that the place smelled like new furnace all night. That was of course after I climbed through the attic to switch on the gas to the furnace because the builder after testing the units turned it off. Imagine my big old self trying to not miss a rafter as to not have my Chevy Chase moment and come shooting through the ceiling. It was quite funny. Even funnier was to see me try to stretch my midget legs across the piles of stuff to get back on the ladder which actually screamed as I navigated back down it.

Well this last week has seen us doing lots of fun things here starting with taking the little ankle biters to the pumpkin patch. This was especially fun for Kristena because as you might have gathered she is a little on the cheap side and this little event was free to the public. You only paid for your refreshment of choice if you choose to buy one and for a pumpkin if you chose to purchase one. There were no requirements but they had a train for the kids to ride, little house to climb in and some of the inflatable sweat boxes that kids can't get enough of. The all come out of them smelling like sweaty gym socks with a dash of latex. But it wears them out and they sleep so well after 6-8 hours in the them who can deny them that fun. This was little Lauren's first trip to look at the great pumpkins and as you will be able to tell by the photos she had a blast. She sat in the midst of the pumpkins for about an hour just smacking them and occasionally falling over but never cried. Kaitlyn loved running up the haystack and jumping off like the Bionic Woman and Tyler well he loved playing in the pretend houses slamming the doors and telling the other kids that this was his house and to get out. At the end of the day all of the kids past out in the car and Kristena and I stopped at our favorite restaurant for a nice dinner while they slept in the van. We parked the van close to a window so we could watch the car and they only cried during dessert so that is okay right???

The second big event here was Halloween. We thought about canceling but the chance to have the kids go around and collect candy that we won't allow them to eat so that Kristena and I have plenty to eat at night was too great to pass up. As is our new tradition, one we started when we were in Florida, we went to a local church and did their version of trunk or treat. Now before I move on I need to step up on my soap box concerning dressing our children for Halloween. The following costumes are in no way shape or form acceptable for children to wear:
Hooker(or other outfits depicting ladies in the worlds oldest profession)
Stripper(I ain't talking about the stuff you use to get paint off a board)
Wench (Not what you use to get a truck out of a ditch)
Chipendales Dancer(No boy should have a bow tie as his only article of clothing on the top half of his body)

Now a note to the parents especially you ladies out there if the top is too small to hold the girls in check maybe this shirt is not appropriate to wear to an event where there are small children. Especially if they are prone to shoot out and displace the eye of a small child every time you bend down to place candy in your child's bag. In addition, a note to all of the wanna be Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders out there. They do not hold additions at the local Church Halloween Festival. They are especially not looking for anyone wearing the top half the outfit that has more wire running under neath the top half of it than the San Francisco bridge. You will also find it hard to make the team if you are in your late 40's and have a gut like mine showing through your outfit. (just helpful hints from Big John). Finally to the men out there it is never ever acceptable to have your butt crack as a part of your costume. It does not matter if you paint eyes on side of it and pretend its a smile it is still not something any of us wants or needs to see. So if the pants don't stay up then buy some suspenders or cover it with a long shirt but please let's leave the cracks to the sidewalks.

Well the other big event is that Lauren is starting to do some baby sign language. Her only sign so far is for milk. She does it kind of half heartedly sometimes when we ask her to like we are bothering her. And then there are other times she does it like her little life is depending on it. Tyler learned this sign first as well and loved to show off but Lauren is a little more shy than Tyler. In addition, she has begun to crawl a little. She is not up on her hands and knees but she is getting where she wants to go. She is also very aware of when Kristena and/or I leave a room. Depending on who is her favorite that day that person had better not leave her without taking her with them. If not you will get the world's saddest cry from the world's cutest girl.

The other two big kids are doing well. Tyler continues to push his limits and the limits of our sanity as he learns his boundaries. He has declared himself the parent of one or all of his animals and this has given him unlimited authority of all of us. There are many Tylerisms that I will post in the top ten sometime but for now just pray that God gives us the patience to keep from putting a lock on the outside of his door and sliding his food underneath his door until he is 18. Kaitlyn just got her first report card (grade card for the older crowd) and got straight A's for the first 9 weeks of the year. Based on inflation and the cost of everything today we figure we have to pay $800 an A in order for this to help pay for her college.

The final highlight of our house is Kristena has started taking cake decorating classes at the local Michaels. I have placed a few pics of her first few cakes. I think she did a great job. Anyway until next time I am signing off. Go Bucks! Go Cowboys! and GO ME!!!!!!

Updates from the edge of the border....

2007-10-05T19:03:00.000-05:00

Well as you all have guessed we have been busy and if you mean by busy not really doing that much you have guessed correctly. Things here on the edge of Mexico (actually we are about 7 hours from the border) are doing very well. As you can see from the families other blogs we had some visitors here at the Huffelranch and we had a great time. We had scheduled my mom to fly in over the Labor Day holiday because well she wanted to see the house and we thought free baby sitter and night out for the parents. I arrived at the airport to retrieve my mom and in typical Carolyn fashion she arrived with a lot of fanfare in the form of a young man chasing her up the ramp with a wheelchair trying to get her to sit down in it. Despite my mom's best efforts to shew him off he literally kept circling her until she finally gave in and accepted his offer of a ride to the top of the ramp. Much to her displeasure he insisted in buckling her into it and then racing her to baggage claim. It was quite a site to behold. Lucky for my mom we were having a cold streak here in Texas and it was a nice chilly 96 degrees for our walk to the car.

Later that evening after packing her in ice to cool her down we sat down for a quiet dinner and a little chat. We talked about everything that had been going in my mom's world except for her little secret. It seems that her and Kim and planned a sneak invasion of the Huffelranch. And at 10:30 on Friday night our door bell rings. This is odd because no one has ever rung the bell at 10:30 I go to see who it is and no one is there. Then as I am looking out the window it rings again. This time I see someone waving from the sidewalk and a little boy pokes his head from the corner of the doorway which literally scared the hair on my face white. (actually it was already pretty white but this finished the job). It seems that Kim and her boys were at Wendy's in Columbus made a wrong turn and 14 hours later before they could find a place to turn around they found themselves at our doorstep. At first I thought they were just trying to figure a way back to the interstate but it seems the came for a visit and my mom who has never been a great secret keeper had kept one. Our Huffellites were sound asleep but were shocked to see their cousins asleep in next room. The played just like I remember playing with Kelley, Jason and Andrea (except no one lost a tooth in anyones head) when I was but a wee lad. It was great visit and we sure enjoyed our time together!

Let's see what else has happened since last I posted....Kaitlyn started school and she loves it. With the move coming after she had made so many friends we were worried about what type of class she would get and would the teacher be nice and all of the usual stuff. What Kaitlyn got was a great teacher who believes the best way to teach is to make everything a song or a cheer. Kaitlyn thinks that this is great and we love hearing the songs we are just glad that this teacher will not be teaching her sex ed class as she gets older. I am not sure I want Kaitlyn coming home saying...
2-4-6-8
who do we not want to date

that's all I have for that cheer but which is probably is best.

Tyler is up to being Tyler. He and Josh decided that they are best friends. And Tyler thinks that we can just drive down the street to Josh's house and they can play. He is also currently fascinated with the word "butt". Everything he says he usually finds someway to work the word butt into it. For example, we have some grocery stores here in Tejas named "Tom Thumb". So one day he walks into the room where Kristena is sitting and a Tom Thumb commercial comes on and he laughs and says "Tom Thumb that is funny but Tom Butt would be even more funny!" He continues to try and out think Kristena and I. He sometimes does. The other days he was in a mood and was being really extra rotten and I was getting on to him and I said "Tyler I thought you said you were going to be good today." He looked at me and said "Daddy I did not say I would be good all day." I did not read the fine print so in this case I will take the blame.

We finally have started to make our little house a home and started painting a couple of the rooms. We started with the babies room because she was basically living in Kristena's scrap room and we thought we should get her into her permanent digs. We painted the room a nice light shade of purple and got her all moved in today. Then Kristena painted the girls bathroom a very hot pink. In the pictures it looks a little red but when you walk in it is really hot pink!!! Kaitlyn loves it and Tyler thinks its great and now he says pink is his favorite color.

Well that's it for now. Sorry to all who I have not responded to your blogs. Lauren is in her own room and i have no more excuses. Kristena is starting a cake decorating class tomorrow and we are all looking forward to tasting her homework!

Here are some pics from the last 60 days!

Here are the huffelchildren....

2007-08-05T19:26:00.000-05:00

I thought I would post a quick blog so that everyone can see the littlest huffeldinks. We have been very busy and to my aunt marsha and cousin andrea sorry about not getting back to you on the house in Dublin. I never heard anything back from any of contacts and with the sewer flowing down the driveway I never got to tell you that. I also need to tell a couple of people happy birthday. First to my brother Tom who during the haste of us moving never got to tell happy birthday. So happy belated birthday little man (can anyone else get away with calling you little man other than me? Distance does have its priveledges!).... Then to my cousin Keever. Imagine me yelling this so that at your advanced age you can hear me HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!. Actually I have always admired Keever and his honesty and the way he has always been a great father and provider for his family. I admire his faith and his unashamed way of living it. So Keever it was your birthday and that big check is in the mail. (i am hoping that at his age he will have forgotten that I said I was sending one).

Finally, Happy Birthday to Kristena's grandpa. We are glad to be in Texas and can't wait for many days where Kristena and I can come over eat your food and leave the kids for (insert the amount of time that you think your sanity can handle them) ..... just kidding but really when do you want them : ).

Lastly, to my mom. Mom I just wanted to remind you that in less than 300 days you too will be 60 years old. So we have been making a list of things you might like:

1) A cool walker with racing stripes and a work bag mounted to the side. The walker can be wired with a radio, programmed with a cell phone and maybe wireless internet. You need to be mobile for the grandkids.

2) Someone to come over and change those pesky light bulbs. Are you sitting in the dark yet?

3) A new Kleenex. The one that has been wadded up in the bottom of your purse since the 60's has to be getting a little worn.

4) A cup like grandma and grandpa have for your teeth.

5) A personal shopper for the local 7-11. If they don't have it there then why do you need it?

6) Round trip tickets to and from Texas whenever you want because we miss you!

Finally, here are the pics I spoke about earlier. Hope this finds each of you well. Please pray for my sister and brother in law Wayne as they prepare for their trip to Africa. I am sure that the Native African people will love Kim's sense of humor and who doesn't love a guy who can juggle fire and put a roof on a house all at the same time.

Texas and what's it in the driveway with the flies on it!?!

2007-07-27T19:14:00.000-05:00

Well in case you thought we dropped off the face of the earth the truth is that we just moved to Texas over the last few weeks and have not had the ability to get a post out to everyone. So we made it and our house is finished and we are 90% settled. Our trip with three little ones went pretty well. We left on a Friday and drove about 600 miles to the hotel where the filmed the last documentary on cockroaches and 20/20 filmed their episode about why you don't sleep on hotel comforters. Really I did not know you could find sheets that color of yellow. But luckily we only need to sleep there and not move in. We then proceeded to drive into the town we are now calling home. Our house was nearly done and we were able to find a lovely Holiday Inn Express that had just opened and their sheets were white!!! We then proceeded to Kristena's grandparents where they made us a lovely dinner of a fried chicken and then some Lemon pie. The kids had a great time getting to spend the evening with Great Grandmother and Grandpa. The "meds" we give the kids when we travel must not have worn off because they were great and fooled the great grandparents into letting them stay the night a few days later.

Since then we have moved into our new home. As with any new build we are working through some of the problems that come with our new abode. The biggest issue has been the sewer. Because of the crunch we placed everyone under and the fact that I scheduled the delivery of our furniture for the day after we closed the builder decided that he would assist in insuring we could close on scheduled and withheld an important fact... we could not use the water, toliets or showers until they could get to the house the next morning to fix it. Now while this may not have been a problem back with Laura Ingels roamed the hills it is nowadays a big issue to have waste streaming down your driveway so we complied with the no flushing rule and rough it in our new house. This was the same night the kids were at their great grandparents so at least they had running water and the ability to flush. So the next day we faced the prospect that we could not shower and could use the bathroom but could not flush it until later in the day. Add to that four movers setting box after box down it was not a glamerous event. Then sometime during the morning session of digging up our front yard the builder and his crew determined that it was not an issue that they were having but was an issue that the city was having so they called in the big guns. The city arrived with a giant garden hose hooked up to a tank of water and attempt to give our sewer line an enema. This is so we could have some "relief" so that we could make it until another crew could assess the true root cause of the problem the next week. Then as the sun rose on our first Sunday in our new home so with it came the river a "stuff" (too graphic to describe) floating down the driveway. We went from being the Huffeldinks to the Pooperdinks in a matter of minutes. Following the initial plague soon came the second which was the plague of the flies and stinch. One emergency call to the sewer department later, their crack emergency team arrived and said yep you got a problem and we will have crew out in the morning to see what they can do. This led to them digging up approx. 1/3 of our driveway to repair a sewer line that the gas company broke. The morale of the story is if you rush things sometimes you end up in deep poo(important lesson someone should put it on a bumper sticker).

Anyway we are alive and well. I would post pictures but well we are still waiting on all of our new furniture. I will write more later but wanted to let everyone know we have arrived and other than the normal stuff everything is going okay.

My eight things and other really big news....

2007-06-29T15:03:00.000-05:00

Well I have taken the challenge thrown down by my cousin Kelley which is to tell eight things that are interesting about me. Well I tried my best to narrow it down to just eight because well let's face I am pretty interesting and people do tend to flock to me so here's some of the massive list that I came up with.

1) I am allergic to all dairy. Now that has never stopped me from eating a big bowl of ice cream however most people don't want to be around me a couple hours later as my body converts the dairy from a liquid to a gas......enough said.

2) I really do like me quiet time. Now that is hard with all of the voices that are in my head and my loyal public crying out for more and more of my classic humor but sometimes it is nice to take a good book into the "office" and hide out for a while.

3) I don't like mimes. I don't like to taunted by someone in makeup who can't find their way out of an imaginary box. I especially don't like it when they tease you with their silly hand gestures. I think we should outlaw mimes.

4) My mom is my hero. We kid her a lot about the Mcdonalds as our sole means of nutrition but the reason we did that was that she was working her tale off for at or just above minimum wage to make sure that lights stayed on and we could afford to get from point A to point B. We all turned out okay Kim's a little crazy and Tom needs a trim and well I am me so great job mom and thanks for showing us that with a little hard work, enough blood pressure medicine and just the change from between the cushions we can do anything.

5) I miss winter. Now if you ever repeat that I will call you all liars. Winter is really a great time of year. The snow the hot chocolate the cozy fires all make for great memories. Now if you could just turn it off when you want now that would be great.

6) My favorite snack is a good deli sandwhich. There is nothing better than a great sandwhich with ham, turkey and roast beef on a nice sub roll with mayo, pickels(lots and lots of pickels), onions, banana peppers and a little salt and a little paper. Yummy!!!

7) I really believe I have the best brothers and sister in the whole world. Kim always knows how to make me laugh about things that no one should ever laugh about. Tom under all of that noise has the best heart of anyone I know. I always know that if I need him he will always help out. Then there is my little brother Justin. I don't know Justin as well as Tom and Kim because well he is a little weirder than both of them but what I do know is that during my dad's last few months no one could have done what he did.

8) I don't really know what I do at work most days. While the companies I work for think I do a great job if I really paid attention imagine what I could accomplish. I have been very fotunate that I bluff a good game. I figure I need to really buckle down this time before some one figures it out. So if anyone has a "dummies guide to mortgage banking" I really could use it before July 30th.

Well now that is done on to the bigger news. Kristena is pregnant!!! Just kidding!!! Really I am. Actually we signed the contract on our new digs in the Big D yesterday. Actually the process was quite fast. We decided we did not want to live in corporate housing because well it is corporate housing and we have had nothing but bug infestations, dirty/hairy tubs and rotten floors in corporate housing so Kristena and I decided it would be a great idea if I flew to Dallas and did a mad dash for a house. The realtor assigned by our relocation company picked me up at 7:30 and we were off. I was certain that I already knew which one we were going to buy but if you put lipstick on a pig its still a pig. And the first had great lipstick but it sure was one ugly pig. For any of you about to list your home here are Big John's keys to selling your house:

1)Remove all hair from your drains. Nothing say "YUCK" like one of your back hairs springing out of the tube drain.

2) It does not hurt to wipe the dirt. Take a lysol wipe and remove at least the top 5 layers from the counters.

3) If you use wallpaper make sure that you use the glue on the back. Wallpaper peeling down the wall is not a strong selling point.

4) Pick colors that are not "original" colors. If the Home Depot person asks you
"are you really sure that is the right color?" then maybe you should not make that the accent wall in the main living room.

5) Finally no one wants to see your underwear, used swimming trunks or anything that might be worn directly against your back side.

So needless to say my favorite was a dud and then some. So by the time lunch came and went my enthusiasm was starting to fade. Then like a ray of sunshine there she was in all of her beauty. 3200+ square feet of glory. I called Kristena and she started researching the schools. And I began the negotiating with the builder. We came to the table wrote the contract and boom we got it. Let me give you some of the vital stats:

3260 sq. ft
5 bedrooms plus a study which could be a sixth bedroom. (no crazy ideas mom)
3.5 baths
Covered Patio and Fenced yard
Granite Countertops
Stainless Appliances
Butlers Pantry with walk in pantry
loads of storage
and one of the nicest neighborhoods you can ever imagine.

There are 5 pools, tons of walking trails, a bunch of playgrounds, shopping close by and a great clubhouse. It really is better than we could have imagined. I have attached so new photos of the new place for your viewing pleasure. Each of you are invited to come stay for a bit and see the place.

Well that's it time for dinner. Love to all of you. We are on our way to the Big D on Friday.

Look Out Big D Here Come the Huffeldinks!

2007-06-21T19:03:00.000-05:00

Well for those of you who have not talked to my mom or my sister the Huffeldinks are taking our show on the road again. After much discussion with my local fan base we determined that Jacksonville was way to small of a town for all our talents and we have decided that Dallas might be a better fit! Actually I finally got an offer from a big mortgage company in Dallas to relocate us to the metroplex. Whew...what a relief it is to know where the next check is coming from and know where we will be. Our move date and my start date are still a little unofficial but the one thing that is not is my last day at the old salt mine. That is July 6th at 12:00. That is only 10 days of work (well considering I have only had about 4 hours worth of work each day minus my bad case of short timers it will probably be more like 3 hours of work between now and the 6th). Kristena is so excited that she wet herself when I called. I mean really real water right down her leg. Actually, I was so excited that I wanted to tell my mom but she never leaves her cell on (because some older folks don't see the value in charging said cell phones) and then she was in the bathroom or stuck on the floor and the phone was on the counter. So instead of calling me on my cell phone she called Kristena who stole my thunder!!! Then Kristena said she wants to buy a house big enough for her mom and my mom to come live with us!!!! I think she just wants lots of free baby sitters because the bigger the city the bigger the bargains! They double and sometimes triple coupons at the grocery stores. we will need a big house to store the stockpile.

Just a few last details that we need everyone to pray about a quick sale of this house so that we can quickly buy another house in the big D. Who evers prayer makes that happen will get to keep whichever kid they want for at least 6 months. The other detail is pray that the spell my name right on my new business cards I would hate to be Johns Johns for 6 month while they reprint them. Although it would easy to spell.

The otter (southern for other) big news around the old home place is that Lauren had her first bowl of big girl cereal tonight. Can you believe she is old enough to eat cereal!!! Kristena is thrilled because let's just say that she has established a new world record for breast feedings in an day. The old record was 110 but our little growing girl topped out at 215 times. Now that might be a little of an exaggeration but not by much. Daddy is hoping she sleeps through the night now that she is eating all of her new food. If not I am prepared to blend up an entire T-Bone steak if that will fill that little belly.

We reckon that we are fixin to get the little possems to the hay loft for a little shut eye before the rooster gets up over yonder. (translation I need to go because we have a lot to do and the kids are driving us to the crazy place). Remember the prayer challange at the lovely prize of 6 months with one of the fine Huffeldink children and wait if you take the boy we will throw in two boxes of fruit snacks and a half taken bottle of prozac for you. (you'll need it trust us)But wait there is more if the house sells before the end of the first week we will throw in 42 pounds of frozen chicken from our stockpile for all of your effort. So don't wait begin your prayer and fasting now before its too late!

Love,

Big Daddy, Big Mamma, Blondie, Grumpy, and Knuckles Huffeldink

Aren't you the world famous Huffeldink....

2007-06-02T17:59:00.000-05:00

Well it has been a while since my last post (except my ode to my little wife)so let's catch you up from April. In the last month, for those of you who did not have time to get my gift in the mail (Marsha, Kelley, Andrea, Rodney, Scott and actually the list really does go on) I turned 35 years old. Now as most of my blogger nation is nearing eligibility for retirement this may not seem that old but to my wife who constantly reminds me she is only now 27 this seems ancient. While I had hoped that the company I work for would declare my birthday a national holiday they did not so I spent my day at the office. I did get to spend the evening with my wife and kids at Tire Kingdom as on the way to my birthday dinner Kristena blew out a tire.(too much off roading in the mini van) After paying for a new tire we attempted a quick dinner at the local IHOP (kids pick) which ended up with a screaming baby and Kristena and I finishing our meal at home.

The good news is I am continuing to downsize my cute and cuddly frame from XXXXL to XXL. I have lost a whopping 58 lbs as of Thursday which is great unless I remember how much more I have left to lose which is somewhere between a small town in Rhode Island and 100+ lbs. I am less than half way there but the good news for me it is only making me cuter. Which I thought was almost impossible but seems to be happening. How you ask??? It seems that the extra fat I was carrying was preserving my rugged good looks and as I shed the pounds it is allowing them to surface even more. I am thinking about selling this beauty secret on the internet as the Hostess Transformation Plan. Eat all you want for 5 years then shed those pounds to reveal the more beautiful you. Only costs you three clogged arteries and some stretch marks, bad knees and a belly button you put a flag in.

On the job front things are interesting. As you might imagine being told that in a few short months your job is disappearing can shake your confidence a little. And then after a month and several interviews later to be faced with the reality that you are not the only fish swimming in the job hunt pond is also a little sobering. But this last week has been a very suprising week with a few new opportunities persenting themselves and some interviews scheduled for next week. These least favorable of these is a job way out west in Portland, Oregon. When I told Kristena about it all she knew is that it is where the Little People from the TLC show are from (we think). And how cool would it be to have little neighbors? Of course they could not help change a light bulb or get anything off a tall shelf but they seem like a lot of fun. The opportunities all are pointing to a possible move which means more stress and more grey hair which means more people thinking that I am Kristena's dad and not her husband.

The kids are doing great and getting bigger everyday. Kaitlyn just finished first grade and was not excited for the year to end. She has developed into a social butterfly that likes to make new friends. It was also the end of Brownies for this year which means thankfully we can begin planning our cookie buying stragety for next year. Tyler well.... "he likes to move it, move it". That is his new favorite song from the movie Madagasgar (?) Actually, he sings every where we go. We can be heading down the toy aisle at Target and he will burst out in song. He seems to learn something new everyday. Some of it is good and well some of it is...
Lauren has discovered that her hands taste like chocolate or it least it seems that way. It is good she does not have teeth or we would have to rename her "knuckles". We have finally found her tickle spot and she finally gave us a little chuckle. There is nothing more heavenly than a baby's first laugh although the sound of all three kids being asleep at the same time before 10:00 is pretty close.

Well I am going to post a big slide show of pics so that all of you can see that really we do have gorgeous children. I asked Kristena how we got such good looking children and she said "Honey, with your boyish good looks how could they have been ugly?" That's when I woke up and she was telling me to go get Lauren because she was crying. It was a good dream though. Hope you all still enjoy my nonsense!

She's still younger than me.....

2007-05-29T08:41:00.000-05:00

Well today is a big day in the Jones family house. Today is my wife's 27th birthday. That's right today we are celebrating the birth of the great woman behind the great man. (that sounds bad but really it is true). Actually in a lot of ways I am the man behind the great woman. As my personality can at times be a little overwhelming I made a quick top ten list of my favorite things about Kristena so that maybe she will know just how much we all love her:

10. Her enthusiasm for everything. No one gets more excited to get a great deal on a bottle of shampoo, a bunch of free hair dye or some free razors. CVS make no money on us. She is also my biggest cheerleader and fan.

9. She never complains that my hair is turning grey. She teases me about it but her day will come.

8. She is super talented and crafty. With three kids she is had to place her crafty needs off to the side but she still has more talent in her pinky than most anyone I know.

7. She has a kind heart for others. Since she is such a bargain shopper she has chosen to take lots of our 'stockpile' items and give them to charity. We never throw anything away we give it to others first. I message to our kids I hope they will always remember.

6. She listens. As most of you at times have been forced to listen to me rant you know this takes a really special person to do day in and day out.

5. She wants the best for her family. She takes the time to read to Tyler and have special mommy/daughter days with Kaitlyn even when they are being stinkers. These are memories that they will never forget. Lauren does not realize how lucky she got when God gave her this mommy.

4. She is always there when I need her. When my dad was sick and getting worse she alway just let me talk about it whenever I needed to. She never asked alot of questions except do you need to go back to see him. When I felt I needed to go we moved money around so that I could fly back and forth and she even made the trek to Ohio when she was pregnant and not really wanting to make a huge drive in the winter so that the kids could see him one more time.

3. She is funny. Sometimes the things she will do and say almost make me wet myself. Something she should get use to. I am 8 years older than she is and eventually she will be changing my diapers too : )

2. How much she loves her babies. Even though sometimes they can be a handful she weathers each storm and loves them more than anything. She is a super mom and is their world.

1. The number one thing is that she is her. She is just a beautiful, smart, and funny as the day I chased her down and begged her to go out with me. I hope that this in some small way tells her just how much she means to me and the rug rats. We love you and Happy Birthday!

Losing weight, losing my job, and losing my mind....

2007-04-19T17:51:00.000-05:00

Well that sounds ominous doesn't it so let's start with the good things and then we will end on a low note. Or better yet let's get the bad out of the way...we just found out that our site is being closed and as of November 1, 2007 I will be unemployed. Now I get a really nice severance package (which sounds bad because severance means to have something severed or cut off yuck) which will keep money coming until about April 08 but we have some options which might mean another move this time to the Big D(Dallas for all of you Yankees) but at least one would mean us staying here and me working for another company here in town. Your prayers and cash donations would be apprecaited. Please send them to my work address so that Kristena doesn't know I have money (oops forgot she is sitting next to me).

On to better thoughts.....As I mentioned a few blogs ago it is time for me to downsize. So I began this process almost a month ago as I was afraid that the county was going to start measure and tax me as a house. So after 30 days of diet and exercise I have lost a whopping 38 pounds. Now not to diminsh my accomplishment but in an effort to frame this in the proper context 38 lbs. to me is like taking a bucket of sand off of the beach. There is still plenty more where that came from. However, I am quite excited that I can see my shoe laces again and at times the tops of my big toes. I am hoping at some point to be able to scratch my ankle without having to take a deep breath and hold it while I bend over. I passed out the last time I scratched my ankle and it was pretty embarrassing.

As I mentioned above I have been going to the gym again. As we now have three kids and I love to see them in the morning when they get up I am not going in the morning but instead during my lunch hour at work. If you have been keeping up on my blog you will know that I have had several interesting experiences at the local YMCA and recently I had another. I went to the gym and had a great, sweaty workout and when I sweat it sometimes smells like when you are trapped behind the pig truck on the way to the farm I needed to take a shower before returning to work. So I pulled my gym bag out of the locker only to discover that I forgot a towel. Well being the resourceful lad I am and also taking into account that no other men were at the gym I thought I would use the paper towels in the locker room. You are thinking man quick thinking big man....well it was I great idea except this towel dispenser has a sensor that only allows a sheet to come out one at a time. Now assuming that I am almost 6 feet tall and in spots almost that wide that is a lot of paper towel. So how many waves of my hand over the sensor do you think it took in order to get enough paper towels to dry off. Let's just say....that I am lucky that due to my high fat content and the fact that everything jiggles when I move the sensor picked that up so it only took about 10 minutes to get enough paper towel to sufficently dry me off. The moral of the story is....well there isn't one just don't forget your towel when you got to the gym.

Well baby Lauren is doing great and looking more like her mommy everyday. She is still as perfect as the last time. The big kids (as we are now calling them as we often can't remember their names) are getting quite excited about the arrival of their new outdoor playset. We have invested one of their college funds in this item so they better love it. Well we will post again soon. Love to all.......

Grandma was here and other haps from the wild side.....

2007-04-08T12:24:00.000-05:00

Well I realize it takes me a while to get from post to post. The fact of the matter is that we are busy really, really busy. With the addition of Lauren to our family we have very little time for writing, sleeping or other general things. Actually the real reason is that the computer is still is in Lauren's room and I type like I am trying to hammer a nail through a piece of steel and that for some reason keeps her from going to sleep.

Anyway....last week we were excited to have Kristena's mom, sister and brother come down and visit for a few days. Once we told the kids that they were coming the quickly divided the group. Everyone wanted to spend the night with grandma in the hotel and then Kaitlyn wanted to play every game we have in our house with Aunt Sydney and Tyler decided that he and Uncle Nick would be best friends. Tyler was so excited to have Uncle Nick come that he made me stand outside on the porch watching for their car. Once they were here Nick and Tyler were could not be separated. Kaitlyn did make Sydney play every game we had and everyone went to the hotel and spent the night with Grandma just like they planned. Luckily for Grandma Huskey we had laid out the ground rules before they left in order to make sure that Security was not called. We figured that they might receive a life time ban if that happened again.

The second day here was spent shopping and grandma doing what grandma's do best and that is spoiling the little beggers. Which is what they become once the realize that someone is actually going to buy them something. Kaitlyn got some new duds and a candy vending machine and Tyler got big boy boxer briefs and a new truck and trailer along with a lot of other things. Tyler got new underwear because.........
*****************************HE'S POTTY TRAINED*************************************
That's right other than a few minor night time slips he goes all day long!!!! We have not changed a Tyler diaper in 3 weeks 6 mins and 37 secs. and for that there can be no words of thanks. Unfortunatly, my mom is nearing the age where someone will need to change her diaper so one out one right back in : ).(just kidding becuase we are hiring that one out). Well back to my story....We had an awesome time with Leslie, Sydney and Nick. She even brought something for Kristena and I 2 cases of chips. And by cases I mean cases. She has a solid contact, a really close "friend" named Doug who works for Frito Lay and he delivered. Luckily, Doug had heard that I was trying to downside and sent us a case of the baked Lay's and the rest were the individual bags for the kiddies lunches. With Kristena's other stockpiles and the new chips we are looking to screen in the back porch and add some selves. So thanks to Doug and Leslie we don't have to buy chips until Tyler starts college!

Today is Easter and while the reason for the holiday has nothing to do with a bunny or a bunch of eggs we still decorated the eggs and rushed around last night to put together the easter baskets. Last year at Easter Tyler was just coming out of the hospital and was in no mood for anything but this year was a special year because it was our first as a family of five. Of course Lauren was in bed when Kaitlyn and Tyler went through the Easter Baskets and was awaken to the sounds of Tyler saying "THANK YOU EASTER BUNNY FOR MY CARS!" at the top of his lungs. The Easter egg hunt was a little different than last year because it was freezing down hereI this year. It is somewhere in the 50's today and that is about 35 degrees cooler than it has been this week. We went from shorts to jackets and sweats.

Well I think that is it for now. It is time for me to find the couch and pass out for a little while. Oh by the way lost 5 pounds and hoping that dinner and dessert today did not hurt that too much. Anyway Happy Easter to all of you!!!

Life in the fast lane.....

2007-03-18T09:27:00.000-05:00

I thought that phrase best descripes our life here the the sunshine state. Since the new baby has arrived we have been so busy watching her poop, sleep, eat and.........well it seems I forgot that is all new babies do. This baby however loves to sleep. She sleeps about 18 hours a day and we get about 6 hours of straight sleep every night now. Which is incredible!!! As you can tell from the pictures she really is the most beautiful baby in the whole world. Now some of you may have thought you had the most beautiful baby but we have done the research and she is.

One of our favorite moments since she has arrived has been Kristena being able to put pigtails in her hair. Well sort of... As you can tell from the photos she has my grandpa's hairline lots of hair on the sides and the middle is a little empty. But Kristena pulled all of her side hair up and rammed it into a couple of hair thingys and boom you have midget pigtails. Lauren looked a little confused and because she has such little hair and Kristena had to pull them so tight she had constant surprised look on her face. Poor Kaitlyn had to wait until she was 5 in order to wear pigtails as she was a bald little baby. Tyler would love to wear pigtails but he will have to wait until he is uncle Tom's age for us to let him grow his hair that long.

Our first official overnight visitor since the new baby was Grandma Jones. Overnight meaning we have no room at our house so we made her get a hotel. The kids loved having her here and they especially loved spending the night at her hotel room. The made some wonderful memories like having security called because they were partying to loud and on Monday when we had to have their stomach's pumped due to all of the Oreo's and poptarts they ate with her. Actaully Tyler finally "passed" the last sprinkle from the poptarts just the other day. Tyler called my mom and told her that we were going to by her house down here by us if not she could come live in his room. Kristena said that would be fine but I think we had already agreed 3 kids was enough and adopting a fourth when she is almost 60 is out of the question.

Actually having mom down here makes me a little homesick to be near family and friends especially when we would like to have a quiet dinner out somewhere like Las Vegas. But then we see the weather reports and I realize that we will just suffer here. So that is all I have for now I wish I could tell you that we had won the lottery and I was sending each of you a $10,000.00 but that is not the case. Enjoy the pics and remember it isn't called the Sunshine State for nothing.

She's here.....

2007-02-16T18:27:00.000-06:00

Well as you might have heard Valentine's Day was a huge day for us here in our household. We finally got to have our little baby girl. She was born about 4:00 on Valentines Day and was 7lbs. 5 ounces and 19 3/4 inches long. She is beatiful and we are having a ball getting to know our new little one. Mom and baby are doing well now. Kristena is still very tired and suffered a really bad series of headaches and migranes but those have thankfully stopped and she is getting around very well. Hope you all enjoy the pics of her.

Well what have you got to say.....

2007-02-07T19:19:00.000-06:00

That is what I am thinking right now. What do I have to say? What is there to write about.....Well we are still waiting for the arrival of baby Lauren. Kristena is ready to have this baby now but the baby is enjoying her current home in her belly and seems to be in no hurry to come on out and meet the rest of the family. The last few weeks have been incredible as we watch her stretch out and see her little arms and feet poke out of her belly. It amazes me that inside Kristena's belly is a new life. Something that one day will be all we are and more. I look at Kaitlyn and Tyler and my hopes and dreams for them are so much more than they can even imagine right now. Tonight, I was telling Kristena that at work today during an unusually long meeting I started daydreaming (I wonder if that is what Bill Gates does during a meeting?) about what it will be like to take Kaitlyn to college for the first time. The dream was so vivid (I sure hope I did not actually go to sleep) that I decided we needed to have a plan, so I started sketching it out on paper. First she can only go to a college where every semester they have a parents weekend, that way we can "legally" check in on her. Then I would like it to be a Christian college(too many "party"boys at big schools) then I remembered Kristena saying that it can't be anymore than an hour from home. Well that ruled out every college around us.... soooo I realized it would be easier and cheaper if she just did correspondence courses from a room in our house because by the time I factored in her tuition, room and board, books, tracking chip in her purse, backpack, cell phone and car (not to mention the full-time body guard to keep the boys away) we can't afford for her to go any other way. I have reviewed my plan several times and Kristena thinks that maybe I have gone a little overboard but I think that it is just me being practical. As Kristena keeps reminding me our children will want to live close to us forever so this plan may just work for us.

The other thing I seem to be thinking about a lot lately is my weight. Everyday I realize that my stomach and practically every other part of me is getting larger and larger. I went to the gym a couple of weeks ago and I realized that I currently have reached a mass that I may actually qualify as a small planet. If I get any larger I think I will actually start to have a gravitational pull and will at some point have smaller people pulled in around me. Now that would be embarassing but it would give me the appearance of being really popular. But onto my point and I think I have one. I have been wondering what to do with my new found largeness and I think that I have no choice but to lose it. You see there is nothing worse than being so big that you get wedged into a booth at a restaurant or when you belly gets so large that in a heavy rain storm you can actually see where the water sweeps off your gut and like the edges of a roof forces the water out over your waist past your thighs and smacks you square on the knees. So I started researching how to make this roundness become more ovalish. All the websites say you should start by making a journal of what you eat so I started to think back to Friday of last week:

Breakfast- Cereal Bar and Water
Mid-Morning Snack- Yogurt bar more water
Then it all went bad......really, really, really bad
Lunch- Two Roast beef sandwhiches with Cheese and Mayo, 8 chicken wings, a small salad (that's healthy right), five glasses of sweet tea, a couple handfuls of chips, a one huge piece of baby shower cake
Mid-Afternoon Snack- 4 more chicken wings and a glass of diet of coke (thought I should be careful)
Dinner- Salad Bar at Ruby Tuesdays, a steak and fries, and 4 glasses of Sprite....and oh a ice cream cone from Chick Fil A before we picked the kids up from parents night out

The count of calories 1,007,006: total fat grams 90,750. Based on that I would have to run around the entire planet 11 times to burn the calories I ate that day. Factor in the fact that I am so heavy that running would cause a heart attack or my knees to explode it would take me 70 years to burn off Friday's meals. But as my sister Kim and I always say I really don't think my eating habits have anything to do with my sudden weight gain do you? Well anyway I have declared today the end of the cycle (like I haven't done that before) and the weight loss challenge is being launched now or as soon as I finish the ice cream in the freezer. So those of you need some motivation or want take a few pounds off today begins the Big John weight loss challenge. Each week or so I will post the losses on the ole blog and let's see if that will help keep my accountable. Anyone who would like to join me in my newest attempt to look more like Brad Pitt than John Candy or Chris Farley please feel free to join me. I would post my current weight but I am trying to figure out if I put it out there in kg if it will seem smaller. Anyway, I have been working on this so long that I am starting to forget what else I have to say. By the way congrats to all of you Colts fans for winning the superbowl. It would have been a better game if the Bears would have played a quarterback but hey it was great to see you all win one.

It has been a long good week....

2007-01-21T20:46:00.000-06:00

Well I have taken a little break from the blogging over the last few weeks. As those of you who read this know my dad past away a little over a week ago. It seems unreal that he is not among the living anymore. We would have liked for him to be here a lot longer. But as we all have discussed he loved his grand babies. He was a great grandpa and would have love to hear some of the stories I will share in this blog. I have included a couple of pictures that were taken in September right after he was told he was sick. Tyler and I took a road trip and as you can see from the pictures playing with his cousins and 15 hours in a car took their toll on him. He slept on him for about 2 hours that day. His loss has been hard on Kaitlyn. She has been very thoughtful about it and after Kristena told her about his passing she cried and then decided that the best thing she could do was send him a note on a balloon. So after I came back from the funeral we had a little ceremony. She picked out a balloon that he would know came from all of us and sent it off. We watched it until it disappeared she was worried some other angel might get it but we assured her that he got it. She wants a picture of him that she can keep in her room. She was really sad tonight that she would not get to stop and see him the next time we went to Ohio. We told her that we would still go see Uncle Justin and Grandma Loretta at their new house and that made her feel better. As we attempt to move forward from this moment please continue to keep Loretta and the rest of us in your prayers.

Now on to the subject my dad would have wanted to hear, about his grand babies. Well this weekend we took the kids to Disney World. We originally wanted to take the kids as close to Kaitlyn's birthday as possible but since Kirstena insisted on having another baby we moved it back a couple of weeks.(she wants me to clarify that it was all my my idea). So in typical Jones family tradition we loaded up the mini van and headed to Disney World. The trip started too easy and we quickly realized that the bad luck that typically follows on vacation was still with us. At about 7:50 Friday night we arrived at our hotel room bags and children in hand. As we approached the room we realized that we had been placed in the building where the were having some sort of summer camp for high school girls who smoke. I thought maybe we had wondered into a rehab center but nope our room was just down the hall. Wanting to spare the children the sight of teenage girls from all over the world swapping Marlboro's we pulled out our room keys only to find out they did not work. I immediately called the front desk and they contacted the dispatcher and sent someone on their way. 10 minutes later I called them again. This time I stressed that I had a very pregnant woman and two small children with me and could the please step on the gas. 10 minutes after that I called this time a lot madder and again stressed that my very pregnant wife was not feeling well and that my 6 year old was getting ready to pee all over the front of the resort. This time the woman at the desk let's call her Mrs. Don't Care told me to hold and see would find out what was taking so long. After holding for 11 mins 23 sec(per my cell phone) I called back this time and was very rude and just as I was beginning to check my nice voice for my mean angry voice I young came to our door. Unfortunately, he concluded the keys did not work (future brain surgeon) and he needed to get a palm pilot to reprogram the door. This palm pilot must have been in Georgia because 10 minutes later we are still standing outside our room with Kaitlyn doing the magic peepee dance and Tyler saying "this room is broken let's go get one that works". Finally, the young man (let's call him Mr. Concrete-In-My-Pants) returned this time with a young lady with also concluded that the keys did not work. Then they said that we probably will have to get us a different room which they start to say will require us to go back to the front desk which is about 1/2 mile away. I told them I did not care how they got the keys back here but no one from our family was doing it. This time the say the engineer is just around the corner and maybe he can get the door to work. So Mr. I Restate The Obvious arrives and does what anyone would do he tried the broken keys in the broken door and tells us they don't work. To which I wanted to say....well you know what you would have wanted to say. Finally, Mr. Obvious whips out his magic palm pilot and reprograms the broken door and after an hour we walk into our room. And much to our delight the room was very nice but the walls were so thin I know that the man next door has nasty gas and his wife snores like my mom. And every time some one flushed the toilet it sounded like the ball from Epcot was rolling thru our room. If one more employee had told me to have a magical evening a was going to take their magic wand and ram it up their.......

Luckily for us the next day was much better. The weather was great. In the sixties all day and the kids had a blast. The highlight of the day was supposed to be the Princess Luncheon at the Castle. It was great even though some person who obviously does not have children thought it would be a great idea to hand a plastic sword to two year old before we sat down to eat. Then that same person decided to give us all glasses that were about eleven feet tall and were great targets for said two year old. Kaitlyn loved the luncheon and got to see all of her favorite princess and had her picture taken with them all. Of course she would have loved the luncheon more had they had a little midget with a cart selling stuff all the way thru lunch. After going to the happiest place on earth with Kaitlyn I realized that all we had to do was take her to the closest shopping mall and turn her loose. Kristena and I have now seen every gift shop in the Magic Kingdom and we think they should have more seats and clearance sections for the parents and a corral for the smaller children.

Tyler's favorite part was probably getting to drive the race cars. They have a speed way with the cars that follow the rails. So I took him on the ride and let him drive and I must say he drives better than Justin and almost as good as my mom. I had to work the gas and the brake for him but he steered us around. Actually I have whiplash from the experience but hey anything for a good time. Kristena did great. Even though Friday before we left her doctor told her that we should not go at all. He has had two patients go into labor at the Magic Kingdom. She did not but I know she is ready to have this baby. She is doing great. Continue to pray for her strength as we near the end of pregnancy and the arrival of the baby.

Well that is about it. I hope you enjoy the pics. On a more serious note my cousin Jason and his brother-in-law Josh pastor at a church in Michigan that they started almost three years ago and while his brother-in-law was diving on vacation in Mexico we broke his neck and nearly drown and now does not have feeling from his chest down. He is showing some signs of improvement but could really use every ones prayers. I have included the link at the end of this blog and if you feel so led I believe they are or have set up a fund to help with the medical expenses and the cost of his wife's housing in Miami.
http://www.greenhouseministries.org

The hardest day of my life....

2007-01-11T23:11:00.000-06:00

Well it is finished at 9:20 this morning my dad's struggle with this disease ended. He entered the hospital last night with severe breathing issues and a lot of pain and this morning with Tom and his wife Loretta there he took his last breath. I think that when things like this are about to happen God gives us a sixth sense. All week I had a feeling that something bad was about to happen concerning his health then last night Tom called and said they were taking him in. Then a short time later Kim said take a look at some flights just in case. And by 10:00 last evening Kim told me they were giving just a couple of days to live. As I flew to Ohio this morning my one thought was I just need to be there. Just to tell him once more that I love him and that no matter what ups and downs our relationship has had over the years he was and always will be my dad. Unfortunately, I did not make it there in time. As I sat in his hospital room staring into the empty shell that was once my dad all I could remember were the good times. The times that made me laugh, the times that he would hug me and give me one of his overly wet sloppy kisses and tell me he loved me. Those are the things I will miss. His life in many ways will be considered a time of missed opportunities with his children but in an odd sort of way it has made me cherish the moments we did have even more.

So as I lay down to try and get some sleep tonight, I wonder what tomorrow will have in store as we continue the process of laying him to rest. Tonight I will close my eyes and hope that he knows just how much he meant to all of us even though our days together were far to short. So tonight my heart aches and I am sad but as we are promised our God is there to carry us when we are not sure we have the strength to go on. I am blessed to have a wife who has been there all day today and listened to me even when I was not making sense. She has been my rock in the last 24 hours and keeps me going when I just don't want to go on. A daughter who has a soft, kind heart who cried for me and then got busy making a note to send with a balloon into heaven so that Grandpa would know she loved him and that she would miss him. And a sister, brothers and mom who have made me laugh and cry today. No one can have a better support team then I have. God has richly blessed me and for that I am forever thankful.

Santa Claus is coming to....

2006-12-21T19:39:00.000-06:00

Well we took the kids to see that round, old elf and no they did not wonder into the bedroom while I was sleeping. No we went off to see Santa at our local library. We were going to take them to the mall to see him but the mall closest to our house requires us to put their bullet proof vests on and I have to wear one of those fanny packs with the zipper pocket in the front. Kristena looked forever for a money belt in XXXL all she could find was one pink fanny pack but that's okay safety first. The downer about the mall is that everyone and their brother is at the mall this time of the year and well they don't all bathe and use deodorant and then they want to cough and hack all over us and the kids. I find it hard to maintain my holiday cheer when the mom with the 17 kids with runny noses keep wiping their boogers on the back of Kristena's pants.

So what was I talking about.... Oh that's right our trip to see Santa Claus. Tyler was extremely excited to go see him, more because Santa was going to arrive on a fire truck than because he got to sit on his lap and tell him what he wanted for Christmas. Kaitlyn was excited to tell him wanted she wanted but she could not remember what she wanted. So as we waited outside for Santa, Tyler decided to make a new friend with the camera man for the library. He was about 50 or so and Tyler told him about Santa and that he was coming to our house and what he wanted for Christmas. And then as we heard the sirens in the distance they could barely contain their excitement. Unfortunately, we had to wait outside for him but luckily we were all bundled up in our....shorts!!!! Gotta love Christmas in Florida.

Once we got inside the children's librarian decided that it would be a great idea to make all of the kids sit down with Santa in the room and listen to two books being read by the assistant librarian. What she failed to do was instruct her young granddaughter to wait until Mimi was finished reading before running circles around the room with snot shooting from her nose and as Mimi read the stories the child interrupted with each page turn with shouts of "MIMI, MIMI". This would have been cute but the child was starting high school (just kidding she was probably only nine). Of course our kids know better Tyler just waited until the room was quiet and whispered to Kristena "I don't like Mrs. Claus, I only like Santa Claus". We don't believe that this will effect what Santa will leave him but you never know what kind of influence the wife has on the husband!

After this the kids finally got the chance to sit on Santa's lap and both got to share with him what the really wanted for Christmas. Tyler wants a rocket ship like the one on Higgly Town Heroes and Kaitlyn wants a camera and a bag to put it in. What we failed to tell Tyler before he sat on Santa's lap was that just because he asked for the rocket ship did not mean that he got it that very night. This realization was a hard one and required him to be removed to the van until he settled down.

Well that is it for now. We will post post Christmas. We are trying to come up with a plan to continue the magic of Santa Claus and we will let you know if we were successful. Merry Christmas everyone and remember we always love cash or gift cards!!! : ) No seriously we do....

And they said it would never happen......

2006-12-18T12:54:00.000-06:00

I opened up the comments from my last post and there it was the last thing expected. After smashing my head on my keyboard and being awakened by the EMS team I scrambled back to my chair to confirm what I had seen and it was true my cousin Andrea commented on my blog!!!!!! Somewhere Angels are singing and the devil is getting his coat!!!! It has happened. I would post more but I am so overwhelmed with this moment that the tears are clouding my eyes so much that I can bearly see. To celebrate I am going to eat another piece of chocolate(actually I was going to do that anyway) but so you don't have to go to the old blog here is the proof! And they said that Christmas only comes to the nice, take that Santa.

Alright, where is the outline version...you PROMISED me an outline! Since you are so curious, I will tell you what has me so busy. Friday night I had a Christmas party to attend plus a Martina McBride concert to go to. Saturday I had to prepare for my dinner party that I was having on Sunday evening, plus squeeze a trip to Marion in for a wedding. Sunday, I went to church and then cooked all afternoon for my party at 6:00. I finished the dishes at 10:00 and then fell into bed. Now, this week I have three nights of board meetings for work and then I head to Marion on Thursday evening for the Christmas weekend. Now, you may say that these are special circumstances, however this schedule is really not out of the ordinary for me. Do I hear a boo hoo in the background??? Now, I really have to run, for fear my boss will walk up behind me and find me blogging! :) In all seriousness, I love you and I had a great time visiting...even though I was harassed! :)Andrea

I have sent this to be framed to hang in my office. Stay tuned next time maybe I can finally get the Pope to comment I am on a roll!

Another one so soon....

2006-12-14T19:39:00.000-06:00

Now no one pass out but I decided not to wait 30 days before I posted again. I usually don't know about what I will write about until I type the first few sentences but hey if we are luckily it will make sense and have some humor to it. So let's get you up to date with everything that has happened since my last post. I made a whirlwind trip to Ohio. I had the wonderful opportunity to fly to Ohio for a few days to see my dad. He continues to decline and the most visible signs are his declining speech and his loss of hearing. The most startling difference is his dramatic weight loss. He has lost almost 30 pounds by my guess since I has lost saw him almost 6 weeks before. His appetite is not good and he takes a lot medication just to keep him from having seizures. My brothers and sister are doing an amazing job of keeping me informed of his condition and to them I say thank you. There is no time table for when everything will happen but we are thankful for every day he is still here.

On a happier note while I was home I got to spend some time in the evening with my family. Most notably I got to spend a quality evening with my cousins Marsha, Keever, Kelley and Andrea. We sat up and talked and ate some of the Christmas cookies they made until after 12:30 in the morning. I got to see Andrea and Jon's wedding DVD and it made me feel like I was there. This is normally where I would say something sappy about how much I wish we could have been at the wedding... but sadly based on my conversation with Andrea there is a good chance that she will not have the time to read that heart felt sentiment. Andrea is faced with the demands of.......well I am really not sure what she does all night but she sure is busy. Andrea is just so busy doing.....well she never really said what she is busy doing but I am sure it is very important. After all I am the cousin who brings so much joy to her life when she thinks about all of the great times we had together, if she had the time she would surely take a moment and say...well....something....anything. But Andrea you keep on doing.....well you know what it is that keeps you from commenting and remember my blog is here right where it has always been. Don't feel guilty as you are(insert important event or project that is taking up all your time)....that I make Kristena sit at the computer all day constantly refreshing the comments page hoping...praying that you will post. The doctors says once you comment on my blog, the crooked finger she is getting will most likely heal itself but should she ever lose her voice we may never be able to tell what she wants. I hope the other new mom's in the maternity ward won't make fun of her : (

It was great to get to catch up with them and during a very tough weekend I got to just laugh and make jokes. It was like time had stopped and for a second it felt like old times and we were all kids again hanging out at Marsha's house drinking the best sweet tea on the planet. No one loves Christmas like Marsha and no one decorates for the holidays like she does. Everything was so pretty that it almost made the single digit weather worth it(but it sure was cold). The feeling was carried over when I returned back to my grandparents and my grandma and I sat up until 2:00 in the morning talking. I still had a buzz from the sweet tea so I am glad she wanted to talk or I would have had to run circles in the living room until I fell over. So thanks grandma and grandpa for letting me stay there and a special thanks to my mom who for Christmas bought me my ticket and then picked me up at the airport, drove me to Marion and then took me back to the airport on Sunday morning at 4:50 in the morning. That was after she and I watched the Gaither Vocal Band until midnight and then we talked for another hour and then we decided we better go to bed. I told her we could stay up all night for all I cared because I don't mind being the large man on the airplane snoring with my mouth hanging wide open. Sure keeps people out of your row. If I am really in a non-social mood I will forget to put on my deodorant and refuse to turn the cooling vents on until I get a real solid sweat going then I turn them on to blow the stink around. Kristena says its gross but it makes sure I get the arm rest.

While I was gone Kristena decided that it would fun for her and the kids to make a gingerbread train. I personally thought she had lost her mind but my wife is nothing if not determined. She tells me that they were perfect angels during the process. We never did eat the whole thing but
as you can tell from the pictures the kids had a blast. Actually Kaitlyn took it very seriously and as you might guess Tyler was just interested on how to get the icing out of the tube and into his mouth. It sure was great to see them when I got home. Kristena is never afraid to try new things and loves to make things for people. This year before I left on my trip she made a package of homemade goodies for family. By the time I left Ohio most of them were eaten.(especially the cake balls...I love them cake balls) When I came back she made another huge batch of cookies and other homemade goodies for her family and then sent all of her leftovers in for my 50 staff members. By the end of the day the had all but licked the containers clean. My staff is like a group of starving animals. They see someone walk in with food and then they draw straws and send in a scout to find out what it is and if it is for everybody. Sometimes our attorney's send in food for everyone so I know if there is something I want I pick through it and take it before they know it is there. If not they will have mauled it before I can even tell what it was.

Well I am not sure if I will post before Christmas but first let me tell you that the one thing I have already gotten for Christmas is a great family. My wife and kids make the holidays better than I could ever imagine. As my dad gets sicker and sicker it makes you consider what's important and Kim, Tom and I decided that every day is important and that we should live for today and always be sure those who we love know how much we care. So with that Merry Christmas from us where it is Cloudy and 75.(I know a little chilly but we are finding a way to stay warm) But they promise the sun will be back out tomorrow and we will have to bust the shorts out! So to those of you up north we will pray the winter is mild and the warmth of our love for you will keep you warm while you shiver and freeze and bundle up before you go to get your mail : )

Sorry it has been so long.... Part Duex

2006-12-05T14:36:00.000-06:00

Well it has been way to long. I checked and it has been over 30 days and here I sit with very little to share. Much like the rest of my family it has been a long few months. My dad as most of you know is in the midst of lung and brain cancer and he does not have a lot of time left. The cancer that is cruelest is the brain cancer. It has taken some of his speech away and is slowly taking his hearing. He is doing as well as can be expected and even though he stills has seizures he seems to be trying to keep his spirits up. Despite his cancer and the difficulty he is having he is still in there and every once in awhile his sense of humor comes out. He has always been a funny guy in his own irreverent way. The other day he was trying to tell me something and his mouth would not move with his thoughts and the words were getting jumbled and he paused and just simply said "oh sh##!" as clear as a bell. Now to some this might be offensive but to me it let me know that he is still in there and despite his current condition he still has some fight left. I am off this week to see him again this weekend to hopefully take him out to get some lobster something he has never tried and well he is trying get some of those "I will do it later" boxes checked off.

Now on to better updates. If you have ever read this blog you know that my son is a little me. He has no idea that he is a little guy and he believes he is an adult. The other morning while I was getting his cereal before I left for work he walked into the living room where Kristena was eating her cereal on the couch and sat down. Then sitting there with a sly little smile on his face he looked at her and said "hey, what you eating baby?" Say what? Now before you think I call my wife baby I do not. We have no idea where he heard this but he thought he was the cutest kid ever. He just sat there and smiled that proud smile as if he had just told the greatest joke ever. My wife and I nearly wet ourselves laughing. He is full of these little gems. Yesterday I checked my voice mail and on it was a message from him and he is screaming at the top of his lungs "Mama is making me lose my mind!" I am sure that it was the other way around but he thinks it is great to tell her that at various points during the day.

Kaitlyn is well... ever the princess. She got her first report card and on it she got straight A's. She is growing so fast that we may have to put Kristena back to work to keep her in clothes. The things that she is learning in First grade have me in awe. They are currently starting basic geometry and last night she had homework on vertices and some other stuff I don't remember. I would check her work before she turns it in and make sure she has the right answers but I took geometry almost 20 years ago and I have had to delete a lot of that information in order to make room for more(some would say I never really learned it but hey they probably don't post to this blog!). Since I last posted we bought Kaitlyn all new "big" girl furniture. She loves it. Mostly because it came with a desk that she can write at. It is perfect for her and hopefully it will hold up until she gets married. Of course she is not allowed to date until she is 40 so we may have to replace the mattress before then. Buying her new furniture meant that Tyler got her old stuff. And with the new baby on the way the room that was Kristena's scraproom is now going to be the baby's room and that meant buying new furniture for what was the kids play area so Kristena had a place to scrapbook. So that is the real reason I have not posted. I am exhausted from building furniture. Back in the old days I would pretend I did not know how to do it and Tom would come down and do all of the hard work but he refused to get on a plane or drive all the way to Florida so Kristena and I (with Kaitlyn and Tyler's help) did it all. I think we did I pretty good job!

Kristena is ready to have the baby and she is doing very well. She has been tired some but has been feeling better than she had there for a while. The next few months will fly by as we get ready for the next little Jones baby. The other day I was thinking about an old friend of mind. He is a pastor in WV and I had not spoken to him in about 5 years. Not because of anything we just lost touch. So I fired off an e-mail. And guess what he is still out there. It is always nice to have someone that no matter how long it has been you kind of just pick up where you left off. You know they are a good friend when one of their e-mails tells you that you must have had a face transplant because your wife is way to pretty to be married to the guy he remembers. I have a couple of friends from college like that. So to Harv and Rod thanks for being those friends that I can always call. And Scooter while I have not known you that long (or I would have fixed that walk better by now) you and I are long lost brothers the only difference is you got the brains and I got the looks!

Good Night All and enjoy the pics!

Halloween with Cinderella and Mickey

2006-10-31T20:02:00.000-06:00

Well tonight was trick or treat night here in Florida. So we bundled them up (just kidding it was 75 and we got to wear shorts!). The highlight of Kaitlyn's evening was getting to be all dolled up like a princess. Kristena put her hair in a bun and put some of her make up on her and then fixed her crown on the perfect little head and there stood the prettiest little princess in whole world. As soon as the costume hit her little body her demeanor changed. When Kristena asked her to turn the kitchen lights off on our way out Kaitlyn turned to her and said "A princess does not turn the lights out." She also did not want to be called Kaitlyn just Cinderella. When Tyler said "I want to sit by Kaitlyn". She turned to him and said "Just call me Cinderella." It seems like not to long ago she was a little two year old going around the streets of Marion with her cousin Samuel and now uses all of her money to buy books. Where do the years go.

Tyler decided long before Halloween got here that he was going to be Mickey Mouse. For those of you who don't know Tyler has been in love with Mickey since the first Disney cruise we took earlier this year. Ever since then he can not get enough of the mouse. He has two stuffed Mickey's and a stuffed Minnie and half of the space on our TIVO is filled with episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. So tonight he got to be the mouse. He then got to live out another of his big time dreams he got to sit in a real fire truck. Actually that was the highlight of his entire evening. He too has changed alot over the last year. Last year during trick or treat he was still perfecting walking this year he was telling the people at our church that he liked their trucks and he was a whiz at getting candy at every stop we made.

Well here hope you enjoyed the pictures. They sure are cute. Good night to all.

Back to bloggin....

2006-10-27T21:07:00.000-05:00

Well I just checked and, by george(wonder which George, hopefully not George Michael he is weird), it has been more than a month since I have posted a blog. Now the surprising thing is that it just seems like yesterday that I typed that we were having a little girl and then boom here we are a month later. Hardly seems possible. For those of you who don't know or might be checking this blog out as a link from the other members of my family the wife, kids and I just returned from our trip to Ohio. We made the trip because as most of the regulars know my dad has terminal cancer. He is doing treatments to buy him more time and about 2 weeks ago finished his radiation treatment and started his chemo last Thursday. Kristena and I decided that we wanted our kids who are young to know him when he was better than he will be later. So everyday we were there we went over to visit. My dad is a real trooper. He did not ever complain when we were there even though I know we has exhausted and felt horrible. (my wife says I am a baby and cry everytime I stub my toe). The biggest change from a month ago was his face was swollen, he had lost a lot of his hair and he has to use a cane to steady himself. He really has no energy and words come slowly at times and the worst part of that is that he can think normally and then he really struggles to say it. For those of you have met my dad you'll know that talking has never been a problem so this I would say is the most painful side effect of the cancer. The kids handled it very well. Every day Kaitlyn made him a card or picked him something out of the yard. Tyler took him a car because those are his most prized possessions. He always says anytime someone gets hurt "I give them one of my cars and they feel better". I don't know if he ever left one there but his heart was in the right place.(actually he always made sure he had his cars when he left but he did let my dad touch them once)

One of the benefits is that my entire family lives in the same town in Ohio. So when we go to see my dad we get to see everyone. Well I say everyone lives in the same town but for at least the second time my mom has move back to Columbus. ( she usually moves within the same selection of towns) She made the trek all but one day from Columbus to our little town. I would like to believe that she made it for Kristena and I but nope it was to see our kids. We stayed with my grandparents which was very nice because it is better than a hotel. The crazy old guy that runs this hotel charges for water and makes you leave a quarter everytime you flush the toilet but we love him, kids stay free and if you buy the meal plan they even let you eat there. (just kidding grandpa it was only a nickel to flush the toilet and Kristena had a coupon buy one night get the second night free). As my mom had just moved Kristena decided mostly because I told her about my mom's shopping habits(who knew you could buy all of that at United Dairy Farmers) to take her a few items from her stockpile as a house warming gift. When she told me about the idea I thought great idea we will throw in some toilet paper maybe a bottle of shampoo and call it a day. Oh no this box weighed about as much as our van. We were lucky the mountains we had to cross on the way there were small or we would have had to pray for a strong tailwind to get the van over them with the load we were hauling. For the record Marsha we included a 12 pack of toilet paper so you can stop and use the bathroom after your next trip to the Cracker barrel.(watch out for the guy selling the Rolex's on the corner on the way into her neighborhood, I don't think they are real!He offered me a bag of dimes or was it a dime bag)

The real highlight for the kids was the opportunity to play with their cousins Sam and Josh. After Tyler and I made our last trip all Tyler talked about was going back to ma and pa's house to play with Josh and Sam. Kaitlyn and Samuel have always been buds. They remind me a lot of Kelley and I when were kids. Kelley always bossed me around and told me what to do but I would have done anything she said because I thought she was greatest thing since individually wrapped twinkies or those little quarts of ben and jerry's ice cream... man I love me some Ben and Jerry's. (actually I don't remember her ever bossing me around but I remember Jason convincing me to ride our bikes places where Marsha told us not to. And us driving way to fast back from the State Fair one year). Kaitlyn and Sam played like they spend everyday together. I don't remember the two of them ever fighting. Kaitlyn cried a little on the way home because she missed everyone. Her real highlight was Grandma's piano. She learned where middle "C" is and now she wants to take piano lessons. So does Tyler. I just keep telling them to just keep telling great grandma that you really wish you could take piano lessons but mommy and daddy can't afford a piano and they promise to practice real hard and maybe even cry a little maybe grandma will get you one. (just kidding grandma unless you already have one picked out. I baby grand would look best in our living room) Tyler and Josh are so close in age that the think to do the same types of things. Those things are usually the last thing we told them not to do. For example if you told them not to shut the back door to the back porch then two seconds later the door would be shut. Tyler was ready to go back to Ohio as soon as we said we were back in Florida. He still tells everyone who will listen that " we are going back on our trip to Ohio to see ma and pa".

Kristena was not quite as thrilled to go. Not because she does not like my family or because she is pregnant and idea of spending about 15-19 hours in a car sounds about as thrilling as a blueberry and coke enema. No it is just that this time of year in Ohio the chance of seeing the sun is about as likely as seeing a pig with wings delivering pizza's.(don't ask it is late and the pictures are little weird). So as we crossed the Florida border on our way to Ohio we pulled along side the road and had a good cry and said good-bye to the sun. And true to form it rained and was dreary pretty much our entire trip. The sun peaked out one day just long enough to tease us. Then on our way home as the sun began to show itself she and I had to stop and just hold each other as we felt the ice wash from our veins and the sun warmed us. Tears of unspeakable joy. I don't think I have cried like that since Tyler was born or we ran out of pop tarts. Now that is all to say Florida really is the sunshine state. 80 and sunny today feels like fall outside!(don't be haters the snow really is pretty it is just hard to have a good cook out with a foot of snow on the ground)

Well the rest of the weekend was great. I have the best brother and sister in the whole world. Tom is great with the kids and allowed Kaitlyn to use him as jungle gym. Kim is great. My mom always says that we share a brain. That maybe be true because lately I feel like she must gotten custody of it. She always make me laugh. We always take the joke way to far or just to the point where she, Tom, Kristena and I are the only ones laughing. I think we are trying to get my mom to laugh so hard she wets herself. I think we got close to that on our first night there. One time we were all watching Bill Cosby on the tonight show when we lived in a trailer somewhere in the middle of no where. My mom got laughing so hard she literally wet herself. Ever since then I have been trying to replicate that moment. With her age and the fact that her ability to "hold it" is getting weaker I think I have a pretty chance.

We went to Kim's church on Sunday, well it is not really her church. She does not have her own religion were we all go and worship her. She might like that but I wonder what the hymns would be. "How Great She Is", "Because She Lives", "Victory in Kimmy". I wonder if the scientoligists sing hymns. Do they sing something about "There is a crystal where the aliens all come to take us home" I don't know. Maybe before I make fun I should check it out. Maybe Ron and his followers know something I don't. Nay, I think you have to be able to jump from a standing position onto a couch and that would require me to strap rockets to my ankles. Actually their would probably have to be a countdown like when they launch the space shuttle. Now what was I talking about.... Oh that's right my siblings are very cool if you get the chance you should get to know them.

Well I think that is about it. Work for me is busy but good. My responsibilities keep getting expanded which is better than them shrinking. Kristena and baby Lauren(for those of you who don't know we have decided on Lauren) are doing well. This baby gets blamed for a lot of things. Everytime Kristena wants something and I seem reluctant she tells me"But the baby wants.." I am such a great husband that I jump and get it for her. Now if she says the baby wants a new diamond ring then we may need to explain to Lauren the difference between needs and wants before she even gets here. Well I am mispeling eveyting az eyes getin tird. So I better get to bed. I will not make promises about when I will get around to posting again but I will try and do it more often. Until then enjoy a picture or two of the kids. Love to y'all. Sunny and 75 tomorrow. Burr might need a jacket!

Is a boy like me I said!

2006-09-27T21:23:00.000-05:00

That was Tyler's reaction to the news as the technician informed us that baby grape is a girl. He was so upset that we finally told him that he was right so that he would quit yelling at everyone. So everyday we mention it to him and he always answers that same way "No baby is a boy like me I said!" . He just laugh and know that come next year he will figure it out. Now Kristena and I were surprised but we shouldn't have been. You see the first clue was that Kristena felt that the baby was a boy. And you see she was been wrong with the other two children and well it is now official her streak is still going. (thankfully we are stopping at three so she will not get the chance to try again.) Kaitlyn's reaction was one of utter joy. She can not wait to share her wisdom with a little sister and she thinks it is great that the girls will outnumber the boys. Kristena and I are quite excited and the doctor was able to confirm the expected due date of early Feb. 2007. Unlike when Tyler was born we won't have to worry about whether the new baby will need a coat to bring her home in because it will most likely be in 90's by then. It sounds like great weather to have but it does get a little tiring after a while.

Kristena has been quite busy lately with her deals. We had begun to run out of some of our staples (coupon lingo not really sure what that means, I thought staples were the things that hold your papers together). So anyway as I have said in the past that she can shop like nobody's business. Well what I probably have not mentioned is that there is some sort of secret society, well actually anyone can join so it is not real all the secret, where the folks on the message boards share deals and tips on getting better deals with each other.( my brother would tell you that they are committing some sort of criminal act) So the deal of the week this week was on pickles. For those of you who don't know I have a pickle addiction. I am on the verge of joining a 12 step program to deal with the problem but I am not ready. So this week pickles were on sale at our local Publix for BOGO (that is coupon code for Buy one Get one for Free. yep that's right there is separate language that you have to learn it's like Latin). In addition to this great deal Kristena had cut coupons out of the paper for .50 off of one jar. And the store will allow you to us 2 coupon's even though they gave you one of the two for free. That deal would have been good but then she got what is called a "Blinkie"(the coupons that spit out of those machines as you go up and down the racks of groceries) for .55 off of one jar. This brought he price to .69 for one. We now have 20 jars of pickles. I am as happy as a big in slop or pickles however you want to view it. Now before you all think that this is all just about pickles she also got laundry detergent (ALL Small and Mighty) for a buck a bottle. That works out to .03 a load. Now that's a deal. She gets so excited everytime we get another great deal like that most of time we have to run out purchase the items right away.

Kaitlyn is doing great in school. She has been really great as we get closer and closer to the due date. She keeps showing more and more maturity as we cruise close and closer to the end of the first semester of school. She is going to be such a big help to Kristena when the baby gets here. No names for the baby yet but please continue to keep us in your prayers. My dad is finishing his radiation for the brain tumors and will then start chemo for the liver tumors. This will be the real tough part. Pray that he will have peace and the strength to withstand what the next few months will hold. He is concerned that it has spread to his stomach and they are going to run some tests to be sure that is has not. Thanks to all of you who have been sending up prayers for us and him. It is great to have friends and family like all of you. (and if I don't know you and you are checking out my blog for the first time thanks also!) Well Kristena, just came out and told me I need to get to bed so that I can function tomorrow.

Boys are back in town....

2006-09-17T19:24:00.000-05:00

Well it has been awhile since I last posted so I thought before the begging becomes too much for me to handle I would drop an update out here. First let me say I am truely a blessed person. I drove last weekend 14.5 hours to Ohio all by myself with a two year old. He was great except once we crossed into Ohio. I excitedly shared with him that we were almost there and that we were in Ohio. Each time I would tell him that he would angerily respond "No we not in Ohio, I said!". Finally, I gave up. Then as we pulled into Marion I called my wife to let her know we were in town and had safely arrived. I explained to her what Tyler had been doing so I thought it would be cute if he repeated it for her. So I said Tyler we are in Ohio now. This time he thoughtfully looked outside the windows and said "Yep, we are in Ohio". That was about the last time I really got a chance to see him sit still for the rest of our trip. From there on he was constantly on the move. He loved playing with his cousins Joshua and Samuel. They instantly became the best of friends! He also loved hanging out with his grandparents and Uncle Tom and Aunt Kim. He, like the other kids, loves Uncle Tom maybe its because Tom is able to fix all the toys that they break or maybe its all that pretty hair.

Tyler and I also got to spend sometime with our counsins Kelly and Sue(Sue's not really my cousin but she has been around so long that she has gained honorary status) Aunt Marsha and Uncle Keever. I had not seen their new addition to their house and all I can say is WOW! Next time I come into town I am bringing a towel and my rubber ducky and hitting their gigantic pool...I mean tub. Tyler could have taken swim lessons in there. Tyler loved Kelley and Sue's dogs. As soon as he hit the door he dropped out of my arms and let the dogs lick him all over the face, neck, arms and anywhere else they wanted. He spent the rest of our short visit chasing them around the house. We now wants mommy and daddy to buy him a puppy.

On Sunday, I got to sing at the Dayspring church. It was fun seeing everyone again. It seems like this church has really changed since I was a kid running in and out of the basement of the old Bennett street building. My cousin Andrea came up from Columbus I would like to think just to hear me sing but I think it was because Marsha was making one of her famous Sunday dinners. Anyway, the facility there is great and it is good to see that it is still growing. After a great lunch at grandma's we went over to see my dad. If you have read my previous entry you know that my dad recently found out that he has brain and liver cancer. For the first time in a long time all of his kids were in the same room and as if that was not emotional enough for him my sister surprised him with a redone picture of his parents. He has no actual pictures of them and his mom passed away almost 20+ years ago. His dad is very sick and with my dad being as sick as he is it was too much for him to handle and he broke down. I don't remember the last time I saw my dad cry or even if I have ever seen him cry but on Sunday he must have teared up about 15 times. Every once in a while he would look around the room and it must have hit him that it might be awhile before we would all be in the same room again. About half way through our visit Tyler was exhausted and he collapsed and slept on my dad for about two hours. That was one moment that I am sure I will never forget. My sister was able to capture a few minutes of it for me and I will always cherish those pictures. Finally, it was time to go and I as I leaned in to tell him goodbye he and I both shared a good cry. I don't know how much time he has left and really only God knows that but we made up for a lot of time over those couple of days.

To give everyone a quick update on my dad he started radiation on the brain tumors on Thursday and he seems to be doing okay. The doctor's are giving him somewhere in the 1-2 year mark provided everything goes the way they think it will. So we are blessed to have the time we have.

We are busy here. Kaitlyn and Kristena seem to have survived Tyler being gone. I truely believed that they missed him I am not sure they even knew I was gone. Tyler slept a ton on his first day home and slept with mommy and daddy his first night home. Kaitlyn got her first interm report card and is getting straight A's. She and my mom have decided to be pen pals. Kaitlyn sent her a card with a picture of my mom she had drawn. The best part of the picture was the hair she gave my mom. It was a big black football helmet. I nearly lost it when I saw it. She did not understand why I was laughing but it was great. She has started brownies and that means girlscout cookies are coming up. I plan on buying her into a great prize!!!

Well that's it for now. Kristena and baby grape are doing really well. The baby is starting to kick hard enough that I can feel it. We go on Thursday to find out if we are adding a boy or girl to the herd. Well I have to run to the store Kristena will shoot me if I go out to lunch again. Good night to all.

He might be....

2006-09-03T22:47:00.000-05:00

That seems to be the phrase that keeps playing through my mind. For those of you who don't read my sister Kim's blog it has been a rather eventful week for our family. It started with a call from Kim that my Dad was taken to the ER after having what they thought was a minor stroke. After some tests they let him go home only to have EMS bring him back two days later. This time they were able to identify what is causing the stroke like epsoides and that is brain cancer.(wow that was very hard to type). This concerned the doctor's as it is not common for cancer to form in the brain it often starts somewhere else and then spreads. So they did a CAT scan yesterday which revealed that the cancer most likely started in his liver and is spreading. He won't know where to go from here until after his bioposy on Tuesday. So the phrase started as He might be okay to facing the reality that He might be dying. So as I sit here trying to figure out how to prepare myself for the worst I am also leaning on something that Tom told me tonight that is we don't know anything for sure. There is nothing we can do until we know what we are facing and then we go from there. So the boy inside me wants to believe that my dad will beat this but the man needs to face the worst which is that he may not make it. So I reflect on our past and I try to find a way to cope with this so that I can keep moving. You see, my dad and my realtionship has always been different we went through a long period of time when he and I did not speak and then out of the clear blue sky he called and since then we talk about once a month. Everytime we talk we always never fail to tell each other "I love you". When he called a couple of months ago and came down I told Kristena that I thought he might be sick. While I loved having him and Loretta visit is was something he had very rarely done. As I look back most of my memories center around being angery over his lack of involvement in our lives. So as I face the possibility that I could lose him I begin to regret that time wasted. It seems foolish to have gone for such a long time and not really spoken to each other to realize that there were years lost for reasons to this day I don't remember. So as I looked tonight into Kaitlyn and Tyler's faces and fought back the tears I promised myself that no matter what the kids did or said I never want them to stop talking. Shame on me if allow a moment to pass without stopping long enough to soak in whatever it is they want to take the time to share because before I know it Kaitlyn and Tyler (and the new baby) will have their families and I will be sitting by the phone hoping for just a few moments of their time.

I was driving to the grocery store tonight and I was listening to my Gaither Vocal Band CD and the words to this song overwhelmed me. The song is called "Through": "When I saw what lay before me. Lord I cried what will you do. I thought He would just remove it but he gently led me through." As I cried in my car I cling to the words in that last phrase that even though I wish God would heal my dad and just remove the entire situation I know that somehow he will lead me, my dad, Kim, Tom, Justin and our families through this.

So as you go to sleep tonight make sure those around you know how much you love them. We are never promised tomorrow but we have this moment. I hope that each of you knows how special you are to me. Don't let petty things keep you from loving those around you. So if there is someone that you have not spoken to because of something that happened a long time ago call them this week because at the end of the day it does not matter who is right or who is wrong what matters is that we love each other.

Ode to a good brother.....

2006-08-26T23:10:00.000-05:00

A few months ago my sister Kim whose blog is linked on this page wrote about our less famous brother Tom. I promised near his birthday that I would give you some info about Tom and well I realized that I never posted my blog about Tom. Things got so hectic that I let the moment pass. So here we go this blog is devoted to my long haired, grumpy, always there when I need him brother Tom.(not Thomas, Tommy, TJ he is just Tom). Oh and before I forget mom it is K-R-I-S-T-E-N-A she is your only daughter in law (that we know of) if you can not remember how to spell it just call her Mrs. Huffeldink : ).

So where to begin perhaps I should begin with an apology to Tom. It seems though I find it highly unlikely that when we were kids I never let the poor child speak. My family contends that when questions were asked of Tom I would never let him answer(those of you who know me must find this very hard to believe). I believe that this may be the reason to this day that often times when he is asked a question there is an uncomfortable silence as he waits for me to answer. I picture him sitting at a drive thru and clerks asking if he would like fries with his order and him just sitting there waiting to here my voice call out "no, he does not want fries with that I however I will take his fries." So Tom I am giving you permission to answer the phone, talk to the pizza guy and sorry for never letting the world hear all of those thoughts you wanted to share. Never mistake his silence for not having something to say. As I have learned so much later in life there is a lot of wisdom behind that pony tail and I wish I had let him share it with me sooner.

Some time ago I was a senior in highschool(to some of you it will seem like yesterday according to my wife I rode a dinosaur to school and did my homework on a stone tablet) but on to the tale. Towards the end of the year I found myself in a very public and very embarrassing situation. I was out of school for the better part of two weeks and my situation was quite the point of discussion. But no one was allowed to say anything bad about me. You see my brother would not let that happen. As the story was told to me a young man decided one day to use my situation to improve his social status (it seems he thought by trashing me people would overlook his obvious body odor) however it seems that Tom got wind of some of the things that he was whispering in the hall and shared with him how his health might be impacted by him opening his mouth to speak about me again. You see while some people would make fun of Tom when we were kids because he was quiet and not nearly as social as I was there was one thing that they would not do and that was cross him. You see while I would talk my way out of the situation Tom found that knocking you into another world worked so much more effectively. Now I don't condone violence and I don't like to talk about that summer very often but when I needed him most there he was. I never been a great big brother to Tom we ran at opposite ends of the social spectrum but at the end of the day he was there for me when I was at my lowest. One of biggest regrets in my life is that I did not step up and defend him a little more often, so Tom if I did not say it then thanks for protecting me when I could not do it for myself.

Ever wonder how kids decide who they like and who they don't like? I have. All of the young kids in my family have at one point or another not really cared for my mom. It has nothing to do with her. My theory is that the kids wonder why she is always wearing that brown football helmet(just kidding mom). But the one thing that can be said for certain is that all of the kids in the family love Tom. They often perfer him to their parents.... sometimes. They think he is the best thing since sliced bread and individually wrapped twinkies. When he comes in the room there is the moment where they all wonder who he is but they can always get him to smile which is somewhat of a miracle at times and before you know it he is down on the floor playing with them and then they are following him everywhere. I personally think the reason they prefer him is that he bribes them by making them fantastic gifts. So far he has made my kids three awesome pieces. A highchair and crib for Kaitlyn and a wagon for Tyler. Tyler loves to ride in the wagon and on occasion tries to sleep in the crib. Kaitlyn moved the highchair into our kitchen for a while and fed her dolls at the table. We had to move it out when Tyler kept trying to sit in it. He acts like it is such a chore to make them but underneath all that complaining there is an Uncle who would give his life for those kids. Tyler and I are making a trip to Ohio in a couple of weeks and Tyler can not wait to play cars with Uncle Tom. I think Tyler is hoping Tom will whittle him a car out of a toothpick which if it can be done Tom can do it.

I could go on and on about Tom. Tom is someone that I can always count on. When Kristena and Kaitlyn moved into my apartment at Easton I knew I could ask Tom to help. He drove all the way down to Columbus on a Saturday and carried all of that furniture down a flight of stairs and then unloaded it in a blizzard. When our computer hard drive crashed Tom sat on the phone for 4 hours and helped me install the new drive, reinstall all of the new software and made sure that when I turned it on it did not blow up on me. If it is one thing that I know for sure in my life it is that no matter where I am or what kind of situation I am in I can always pick up that phone and call Tom and hear him say "What do you want?". Love ya Tom!

Growing Old Gracefully.....

2006-08-22T21:14:00.000-05:00

Ever hear that phrase used. Usually you say that as it relates to someone who is about my mom's age you know 80 or so. But as I have crossed into my mid-thirties I realize that this is simply a lie. At least in my case. It would seem that I am aging like lettuce ages gracefully in the frig over the span of a week. For those of you have not seen it then you did not have the opportunity to open the frig in our house when I was a kid. But onto my point. It would seem that as I have begun the aging process some strange things have begun to happen. It all started with the grey hair. Now on some grey is distinguished. My uncle Keever looks great with grey hair. I however have not been so blessed. I just look like someone who time has not been kind to. Then the other day I learned an important lesson that grey hair has different rules than regular hair especially as it relates to your eye brows(?). This became apparent the other day as I glanced at myself in the mirror while washing my hands at work. It would seem that most eye hair lays nice and flat unless it is grey. Once it turns grey it begins to form its own pattern. The pattern that my grey hair had decided to form was that of horns above each eye. How long they had been that way I did not know but my eyes had horns!!!! As soon as I got home I waited for my loving wife to share with me that my eyes had horns but not a word. It would seem that she looked at me everyday and did not notice the horns above each of my eyes. So that night as she laid in bed I did what any strong manly man would do and I tweezed the grey right out of my eye brows and gave them a wonderful arched look. I now look a little like Vestal Goodman without the teased hair. If I ever decided to relive the moment when I dressed as Mimi from the Drew Carey Show for Halloween I would be half way there. Kristena did not notice the horns were gone but if one of my tweezed hairs would have wrapped itself around her tooth brush I'll bet that would have made her take notice.

The next horrible thing that happens at least to me is the addition of ear hair. Now I must say that this is the last place I thought I would sprout a hair. And it is not like it is just one hair that I can pluck and never worry about it again. Oh no, no it seems to be more of a recurring issue. The worse part of it is that is actually impossible to pluck them with out crying because it feels like it is connected to the hair that has mysteriously sprouted up on my toes. So if I try and pluck an ear hair it causes my leg to jerk up the air. Which would be fine if I was flexible but I am not and I pull a hamstring everytime I try and yank one of those bad boys out. I saw the other day that Mark Lowry used Nair on his ears something that I may need to try. So if you ever call the house and Kristena tells you that I am Naring my ears don't laugh it is probably true. After all of that I tried to look on the bright side if I ever go bald I'll just let it and my back hair really grow out and create a really weird comb over. The problem is that all of the hair in my ears and on my back is turning grey to so I won't make me look any younger. I guess I should have paid more attention to my great uncles at our family reunions and realized that one day there I to would go. Hang one second I need to pick my ear wax out with one of my car key's.......Ahh now that's better. Nothing like scratching a whole in your ear drum with your car keys to make the time pass.

Tonight would not be complete without a couple kids stories and a few pictures. So let's start with Kaitlyn. She started 1st grade and just finished basketball season. She started the season as probably one of the least experienced and least intense players on the team. By the end of the season she actually went after a few loose balls and made a shot....during warm ups. Now that may not seem like a big deal but compared to where she started this was monumental. She could dribble and shoot and really liked it when the season finished. She can not wait for next season to start. I think one of the highlights of the year was watching her when she was not really all that interested in the game as she danced and sang the songs from Disney's High School Musical. The game was being played all around her and yet there she was twisting around, clapping and just singing along to the music playing in her mind as the other team dribbled by her. When we would ask her about it she would just smile. Nothing makes you smile more than watching your daughter off in her own world while all the time 9 other 6-7 year olds were trying to play a game of basketball. Gotta love her!

Then there is the little man. He has decided that he wants to be the next Food TV chef. The other night I was making Chili(I know 115 degrees in Florida and I am making Chili ask my unborn child why) and he drags one of our kitchen chairs over to the counter and says "I cook with you Dad". I thought that meant he just wanted to watch me cook. Oh no by the time I got done cutting the peppers and onions he needed his own pan with his own utensils and was making onion peel and peppers soup. So everytime after that if I go into the kitchen to make a sandwich he drags his chair over to the counter and says "I need to cook". It is hard to get him to leave the counter after he is done especially if he thinks that Kristena or I are going to start cooking something else.

Well that's all I got tonight sorry it is not much but hey I need to get into the bathroom to pluck my brows, trim my nose hair and try and die my hair (the ones on my chest, back and arms and that is a lot of hair). Getting old ain't easy and it sure isn't pretty. Love to all.

Back to School.....

2006-08-09T20:37:00.000-05:00

Well it is that time of year here in Florida and Monday the kids returned to school. To us that meant that Kaitlyn is entering the first grade. She was so excited and I admit it was almost more stressful for us than Kindergarten was. We got up early and Kaitlyn had her requested breakfast of cinnamon rolls and blueberry muffins with a glass of orange juice. Sounds a little gross but we told her she could pick. After that she got dressed in her new school clothes and mommy did what any good scrapper would do and had her pose for her going back to school pictures. Taking pictures of Kaitlyn is always about the pose. I don't know if she has watched too much America's Next Top Model or what but she literally poses for every picture. There are the three most common the squat half turn with the full grin. The full standing quarter turn with the full smile and the slight turn with the hand on the hip with full or partial grin depending on whether or not we have said something to embarrass her. I think it must be a recessive Huffeldink gene that only she possess. Although as you can see from the pictures she has started to train her brother on posing.

Once we got to school we walked to her class and of course all the while there is mom behind her snapping pictures of her walking away, sitting at her desk and then like any good parents we assessed the children in her class and tried to determine the good eggs from the bad. Kaitlyn was lucky to have 3 kids she knew from kindergarten. The downside is it appears they be some of the bad eggs. One of her friends from last year is a little trouble maker named Gabby. I first I thought it was short from Gabrielle but then I realized it describes what she does all day long. And that is Gab. Talk, talk, talk, talk, she would talk to the wall if there were not people around her. The limited time I have spent around this little precious child I don't think I have witnessed her take a breath. I believe she may have some sort of gills that allow her to not take a breath but continue to speak. I am calling ABC and getting her on the news. But all and all she appears to have a really good teacher and seems to be doing well. However, tonight she announced that there may be a small problem with one of the boys that sets right next to her in her group. It seems that this little boy may have a slight odor. Kaitlyn announced to Kristena tonight right before she went to bed that the boy who told the lie the other day also stinks. She claims it may be because he pooped in his pants or does not take a shower she does not know but what she does know is he reeks. We were laughing so hard that it was hard to remember to tell her that we should not make fun of people and that maybe there is some reason that he smells that way but really what do you do when she is so serious that she has her very own little pigpen.

My final little story is about something we did a few weeks ago. I was on my blog break and Kristena decided that we had stockpiled too many items that she had gotten for free or for pennies and it was time to donate some of it to a worthy charity. So we found a women's shelter and began gathering our items. Now we did not take any pictures so I will have to describe some of the items to you. First was the hair dye. So she starts pulling out the boxes of hair dye. She says there was seventy boxes of dye in our closet. Enough dye to dye each hair on my body a different color for about the next 100 years. That is a lot of dye and because I love you all I did not post a picture of me shirtless so you can see the hair. Then came the pads (you all know what I mean by pads, you know feminine products). To say we had too many would be an understatement. We loaded about 40 boxes/bags of pads into our box. I realized after we donated them that maybe we should have kept them all so if a hurricane hits we could have slapped them to the outside of the house and stopped any type of flooding from occurring inside. Actually Kristena must have had the same thought because before I could get the box to the van she was rummaging through the box taking some out. Some of the rest of our haul was shampoo and conditioner, toothbrushes, toothpaste, and many etc............ There was a lot more but it was a million degrees when I was loading it into the van and I could not inventory it all. When we got to the home the lady brought out a little cart and I asked her if she had another because we had a lot of stuff. I am not sure what she thought as I stared into the box of hair dye and pads but she did wonder if we were with the Girl Scouts. It actually was great to be able to give it to them because as I said Kristena was able to get most of it for free that is because she is che....I mean thrifty. She is so ch...thrifty that the other day when I went to add a dryer sheet to the clothes in the dryer I realized that she took the time to cut all of the sheets in the box in half. That's right she cut them in half. She claims she did this months ago and it was sad that this was the first load of laundry I had done since she did it. Now if you think that is ch.... thrifty she reuses them also. That's right, not only have we cut them in half but she leaves them in the dryer until they disengrate. I guess she knows its time to but a new one when the other one disappears. So claims the max number of loads for a half dryer sheet is 3 loads of laundry. She claims that all of you out there cut your dryer sheets in half I say it may be a slight unusual so please let us know (Kristena only wants you to respond if you agree with her if you don't then don't answer this question). She is defending it by saying they are the Bounce dryer sheets and that they are really expensive and that is why she does it. I think that if you only needed half they would make it half the size. I defend that by reminding her that the other day I walked out of the house with a sock stuck to the inside of pant leg that did not dislodge until I was in a meeting at work. Now that is embarrassing.

Well can't think of anything else that is going on. Kristena is now officially 13 weeks into the pregnancy and things are going pretty well. It has been really hot down here and I am sweating like Rush Limbaugh waiting to clear customs. Anyway we are doing well and hope the same can be said for you and yours. Talk to ya soon!

Here comes the Huffeldinks.....

2006-08-04T19:27:00.000-05:00

Well we are back and we had a really good time. I thought I would share with you some of the highlights of our cruise. So to begin I need to start with the title of the blog. We reached the ship early on Sunday afternoon and as we walked on board a member of the crew asks for your family name so that they can announce each family. Now a couple of months ago when we were out to eat and we had to wait I started making up names. For example, if the hostess would ask us for our name instead of saying Jones I would say "Weinerheimer" mostly because it embarrassed Kaitlyn to no end. Well when the lady asked me for our family name to announce over the lobby speakers I could not help myself and told her we were the "Huffeldinks" to which she replied the "Huffel what?" I calmly replied "dink, Huffeldink". So as we boarded the ship the lady said "Everybody welcome aboard the Huffeldink Family." As the crew applauded over our arrival I thought Kaitlyn was going to crawl off the ship and Kristena was going to wet herself as she laughed herself silly all the while I never cracked a smile. Ain't nothing better than causing your children a little embarrassment to get you through the night. I think Tyler was excited to meet the Huffeldinks and had no idea that they were talking about us.

The next highlight had to be a Tyler moment. No one was more excited to take the cruise than Tyler. All he has talked about since we booked it was getting on the cruise ship. Several times when we would tell him that we would not be leaving for several days he would break out in tears. But when we arrived and he got to stand next to Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse he gleamed with pride. Then when we had to let the next child in line take their turn with Mickey and Minnie you would have thought his little world had ended. He covered his little eyes and cried "I want Mickey and Minnie" and just sobbed. This continued throughout the cruise. We would watch one of the live shows and at the end of each one they would bring out Mickey and Minnie Mouse and when the curtain closed and he could not see them his little heart would break and he would place a hand over each eye and sob. He just kept saying "I wub (love, for those that don't speak Tyler)Mickey and Minnie". It was so bad that we made him a deal that when he got home that he could watch Mickey Mouse's Clubhouse all day.

The best part of taking a cruise is the food. Really you can literally eat all day every day and get almost anything you could ever imagine. That is not to say everything is great but there are some basic standby's that are fabulous. One of the highlights is that everyday at breakfast and lunch it is a buffett. Now there is always something for everyone on it. For kids there are things like macaroni and cheese, chicken fingers, hamburgers, hot dogs, pizza, cheese sticks, you know stuff that every child would love. But this buffett had not met Kaitlyn. Each day we wondered through the buffett she would come away with green jello and and some crackers. Not a chicken finger or a corn dog. Just crackers and jello like she was being fed prision food. On the next to last day on the cruise we forced her, that's right, forced her to eat some of the macaroni and cheese. By the way, this is the best mac & cheese we have ever tasted. After taking the first bite she said hey this is not bad. Well yea it was not bad that was what Kristena had been telling her before we even left the dock. The only other thing she would eat was dessert. She would eat anything that was on the dessert table. At breakfast everyday she would eat waffles and enough donuts and muffins to keep her running all day. Then when she went to dinner with us she would load up on what ever she ordered. I guess there is no moral to the story other than never assume that all kids will eat the kids food but they all love dessert.

One on the third day of the cruise we arrived at Disney's private island Castaway Cay. On our last cruise the kids had a blast on the beach but wanted very little to do with the ocean itself. This time could not have been more different. Kaitlyn and Tyler loved every moment. The immediately headed straight for the water. Kaitlyn walked straight in and stayed in for about 3 hours. She now is claiming she can swim but her swimming consists of either hanging on to my arm as she kicks her legs or her moving her arms as she walks through the water. We told her that was not swimming but she is convinced that she can swim. She was so convincing that she now has Tyler believing he to can swim. As he left the ocean he would walk swinging his arms saying "I swimming". Tyler had no fear of the water. He walked out until the water was around his neck and then demanded that I take him further out. I would show you pictures of them in the water but I look like a whale with arms and legs and I will not allow these pictures to see the light of day but you will have to trust me that it was a blast!

On the Disney cruise their are lots of activities once your child is 3 or older but for the little kids there is only one real place to be is a place called Flouder's Reef (after the fish in the Little Mermaid not one of the dishes we had for dinner). The last time we were on the boat Tyler cried everytime we dropped him off. This time much like the beach was a different story. He barely even said good bye. He "wubed" it. When we went to pick him up after his first stay he ran out and looked at Kristena and said "Mama, lady changed my pants!". Who knew getting your diaper changed by a stranger would make his day. I won't know that joy until I am about 40 years older. Every night there after he could not wait to go play with the babies. The last night he got the evening snack which was a juice box and crackers. And he said he wubed it too. He said tonight when he was sitting on the potty that he had fun playing in Flounder's Reef with the babies but next time he wants to play where Kaitlyn played in the Oceaneers Club. He was quite the little man.

The last thing that I will share about Tyler occurred a couple times in various parts of the ship. As everything he did was new to him in a lot of ways his reaction to everything was priceless. A few months ago we were in Old Navy and if you have been there lately you know that they now sell dog toys. Well Tyler thought they were toys for him. So when Kristena told him that they were doggy toys and that he could not have one he got down on all fours and started crawling around Old Navy saying "I puppy now". So on the cruise there were patches of carpet that looked like waves and everytime he would see them he would lay down on top of them and scoot across them and say look "I swim like fishy". Kristena was able to catch him doing it after he decided he was done watching the movie Cars outside of the theater on board.

My last Kaitlyn story came as a wake up call to Kristena and I that she is no longer a little girl that she is growing up. It was something she told us that made us realize the little baby she once was is now being replaced with a much older girl with her own opinions on things. We were sitting on deck with her probably eating because well that is all there is to do sometimes. Eat and then go swimming. Something they tell you not to do when you were younger but on a cruise ship it is not only encouraged but expected. The worse part is that you stuff yourself to the gills with food (especially our server who at dinner insisted through his very thick accent that he bring us practically everything on the menu) and then you want to swim in a bathing suit that is substantially tighter than before you got on the ship. Several times I was pretty sure I needed to get a nice 56DD bra and load these puppies up. If they get any bigger I will need to move them out of the way in order to scratch my ankle. I am sure that some people looked at Kristena and the kids and think it sure would be nice if he shared the food with his wife and kids. But anyway we were eating on the deck and Kaitlyn was dressed in one of her new polo's and I realized that she had buttoned every button all the way to the top (something she has done since she was 2). All she was missing was the taped up glasses and the pocket protector. Kristena and I told her that it would look better if the top button was left open. She kept arguing and we argued back with the old argument that we had been around longer and that we new what we are talking about. Kaitlyn looked at Kristena and said "Mommy, you get to make all the decisions but sometimes I need to make some decisions". Wow, we both thought what a realization. There are some things that she can now decide and it probably is best that we begin to teach her how to make good decisions and she is now capable of doing it all on her own. When do they grow up. It must be at night when I am not watching. Because I watch and I never see it happen.

Well to summarize we had a great time. I am now almost large enough to declare myself my own country. My fingers after all of the food look like little chubby sausages and the kids can fill my belly button with water and take a swim. I have hired a personal trainer at the Y to see if he can beat some of this off of me before I have to add a caution sign on my butt as I climb the stairs at work. Anyway we are now another week closer to the baby arriving and we bought the baby his or her first toy. My bargin shopping wife found it on clearance at Target. So good night and good day to all of you. We wube you all!

The First Pictures of Baby Grape.....

2006-07-25T20:29:00.000-05:00

Take a look at that little baby. It is truly a miracle that we can have pictures of our babies before they even can realize what is going on. I wonder if they wish that we would just let them be. I wonder if they think I was sleeping or eating and all these crazy people want to do is take my picture. Then again this baby is part me so he or she was probably combing their hair and waiting for us to snap their picture. As you might imagine we are quite anxious for this baby to get here. We would love to hear your suggestions for names. Actually I thought we could auction the naming rights on e-bay and see if we can raise some tuition money. But I was afraid that someone would want to name the baby after their product and Kristena did not want the baby to be named Nike, Reebok or Magic Mountain.(with our family history regarding weight that would be a bad,bad thing). So any suggestions except Dilbert, Leonard or Butch will be considered. However, we will take monetary incentives to name our child after a relative you dearly love : ).

I guess I did not realize how long it has been since last I posted. To catch everybody up Kaitlyn is starting High School....I mean First Grade in less than two weeks. It is amazing how quickly the summer has gone. We had so many ideas of what we would be able to do this summer but it moved so quickly that we did not get the chance to check many of the boxes. She has become everything that you would hope for a little girl to be and then some. The other day she called me at work(yes she called me at work) and needed to tell me how she was going to redecorate the house starting with mine and Kristena's bedroom. She had it down to the furniture placement color of the walls including sketches by the time I got home. I asked her who was paying for the remodel and she said she would take my credit card and buy what she needed. It has begun already. The other day we went to Old Navy(great nickname for the baby when the get older but probably not appropriate for a new born) and I told her that we were not shopping for her today she said that was fine she did not need my help to shop she could do it by herself. That's our girl.

Then there is the boy. Man oh man can not believe the things that he does. As you can see from the pictures he is getting bigger everyday but it is his new words and sentences that at some point just make me almost cry from laughing so hard. He and I were in the living room the other day I don't know where Kristena and Kaitlyn were I am guessing Kaitlyn was picking out the car that she thinks I am going to by her when she can drive. But Tyler wanted a matchbox car he had left in the van. That's because the kids think the van is a rolling toy box and everytime we get in it they bring a toy that never ever leaves unless Kristena or I bring it in. But anyway, he taps me and says "dad, dad, dad we need to get my car from momma's truck". I was watching something and I said in a minute. So after about 30 seconds later he turns to me and says "I think it would be a good idea that you go get my car now dad." I am getting bossed around by a 2 year old. So when I asked him what he was thinking he said "I don't know". And he shook his head and walked away. that is our boy.

Well let's see we are having a baby Kristena is 11 weeks along as of the moment I write this. The due date is 2/14/07 and as I said we can not wait. Kristena was relieved to know exactly how far along she was. She is doing much better now and can almost stomach to watch FoodTV again. (hey that would be a great name for a baby!). As for me I have been taking people's houses left and right. I hate that business is that good but I have to think that by me doing my job someone else gets the chance to own a house down the road. We are off on another Disney Cruise on Sunday and all Kaitlyn and Tyler can talk about is getting on the cruise ship again. So pray the weather will be good and the hurricanes stay away until we get back. Hope you enjoyed the pics and look forward to hearing from all of you again. I will try to not disappear again for so long.

"The Fireworks get me....."

2006-07-06T15:07:00.000-05:00

Well happy 4th of July to you all. I know the fourth is over but hey what do you want from me. I will give you the big updates from the last week here on the home front. Well let's see.....Kristena is pregnant(oh that's right I already said that).....I am fat(no that's not new news either)......Oh how about my dad and Loretta came to visit. Now that is real news. They got here on Sunday evening. I must say that having them here was great but a little weird. I don't ever remember him ever coming to see me no matter where I lived. But I think Kristena had it right when she said that they were not here to see us but here to see the kids. As a matter of fact they kicked us out of our own house so they could watch the kids for the evening. Actually that was a great help we actually got to get out for a little while and Tyler and Kaitlyn got to get to know dad and Loretta a little better. By the time they left Tyler had already started looking for them everywhere. He believes that his grandparents and great grandparents are at various locations around the city. Kristena's grandparents are sitting at Wendy's somewhere, my grandparents are at a Chuck E. Cheese, my dad and Loretta are at IHOP. He has not realized yet that grandma Jones is at Bob Evans all the time : )

We took the kids all 2.2 of them to the Fourth of July fireworks at a place near us called Moosehaven. I don't know why they called it that but I did not see any meese or moose's as Kristena just corrected me. The closest thing we saw was some people that should have worn more to cover themselves. I understand that it was 90+ degrees but should we not realize the rest of the world must look at whatever we decide to let drop, hang or drag out of our clothes. Anyway this was really nice event they had tons of little booths with stuff that you could buy and leave in your trunk (like my mom) until you attend the next family reunion or have your next garage sale. They also had the typically fair food which looked really good and I learned something new. Cotton candy melts. I did not know that. But it was really hot and I was walking back with Kaitlyn's cotton candy it was getting smaller and smaller until finally what started out as a larger beehive like my grandma use to wear back in the 70's into the something that resembled blue sticky snot. Kaitlyn and Tyler loved it, but as it was melting it dripped all over me. And as learned during the fireworks ants will eat human flesh if it is covered in sticky cotton candy. The ants thought I was a buffet and I have the scars to prove it. Well the fireworks were great Kristena and I really enjoyed them, the kids however had mixed reviews. Let's just say that Kaitlyn is always excited when we talk about going and then cowers during the entire show. The booms always make her run for cover usually right to mommy. Tyler last year loved them but this year was a different story. Before they even started he turned to Kristena and said "Momma, fireworks get me." Even though we assured him that they would not he did not take our word for it. Once the show started he seemed to be okay he laid on Kristena and watched the show. Then about halfway through he covered his eyes and that was the last thing he saw for the rest of the night until we were back in the van. For the hour and half after the show he sat in the stroller and in the van with his hands over his eyes. We could not convince him to put them down. It was so cute. Anyway enjoy the shots for our fourth of July.

*********Pregnancy Food Update***********

Well as I said before my dad and Loretta kicked us out of the house so Kristena and I decided to go out to dinner. We had several choices for the evening but Kristena and baby orange(he or she has grown since my last post) decided on Longhorn steakhouse. Well it all went bad once she looked at the menu. I could tell she was not into it from the moment she opened the menu. I even said why don't we go somewhere else. But we agreed to split a steak and luckily I ordered some fries as an extra side. I say luckily because once the food arrived it was all over. She wanted nothing to do with the food. She said the steak looked and smelled gross(actually see said smelled like poop) and all she would eat was the fries. Once I finished trying to eat all that food we had to cover it with a white napkin like it was a dead body. The waiter was I assumed new something was wrong and asked us if there was something under the napkin that he did want to see. I tried to explain it to him but he seemed to be a bit of a snot so I gave up. So we have added Longhorn to the list of places we cannot eat at. Other than that everything seems to be going right on schedule.

Well that is it for now. We have busy fall planned included what I hope is another Disney cruise, another trip to Texas and mom, Kim, Wayne and their kids coming down for Thanksgiving, and a trip to Disney world. Kristena has offered to let them all stay here but they have decided that they will stay closer to the beach. We are really disappointed but somehow we will overcome our disappointment and make it a great Thanksgiving. So happy July 6th to you all. And my next entry will be my Birthday salute to TOM!!!!!!

Just a few random things.....

2006-07-02T19:42:00.000-05:00

Well it has been an interesting week. Kristena is pregnant and the let's say that so far things in the food department have been a little bumpy. Kristena and Baby Grape (as Kaitlyn calls the little unborn genius) have been pretty picky about what sounds good to them. Today's call was for at first for deviled eggs. So while she napped I made deviled eggs. Let's just say that after the first half an egg she was making faces. Half way through the second half it was adios to the deviled eggs. All the rest of the day she claimed she smelled them. She would not even drink the water from the refrigrator dispenser because she thought it would smell or taste like eggs. Luckily she decided that she wanted Olive Garden. However, we had partially spoiled salad and a waitress that thought she was getting paid by the number of times we had to ask for something and she brought it out 45 minutes later. She and the baby did finally get the meal they were looking for and all is well at least for now. However, this child is already high maintanance and Kristena is ready to give birth today. She claims she may already be 9 months along. I have promised not to take a shower before rushing her to the hospital like I did with Tyler. But that is a story for another blog.

Kaitlyn just began basketball. Now this is her first year to play basketball. To say that the first practice or two was somewhat hilarous is an understatement. Imagine her trying to dribble the ball with her legs together down to the knees, then she has her legs apart from the shins to her ankles with her toes pointed in. Then imagine her trying to dribble with her entire arm from the shoulder down. It was sad and funny all at the same time. Kristena was laughing so hard that I thought we were going to have leave the gym. The most horrible part was the faces Kaitlyn was making. You thought we were asking her to drink pee or jamming matchsticks under her toe nails. She was miserable. So after that practice we gave her a chance to say she did not want to play, but she wanted to stick with it. And she is doing okay. She had her first game on Saturday and I am pretty sure no one won. After 32 minutes of basketball I think the finally score was 8-6. There was very little basketball being played. Kaitlyn played half the game and her stat line was 0 pts, 0 rebounds, 0 steals but she played with 100% heart.
Tyler would love to play with kids but after about ten minutes of him at the game and he was banished to the day care at the Y. Which is where he would rather be anyway.

He is growing up so much. Today he walked into the kitchen with his watch - a toy potato masher- over his arm and asked "dada what time is it" looking at the masher. I told him it was ten o'clock and he said "alright, time to go to work, bye,bye" and he ran off. He came back about two minutes later and said "Hi I home". My only guess is he worked about as hard as daddy did on Friday. Anyway my Dad and Loretta came down today. The brought him his birthday gift and he loved the monster truck they bought him. Mommy is not sure about it yet. But Tyler had to have it in bed with him tonight. They will be here for a few days and it will be great for them to have some one on one time with the kids.

Well lots of other stuff is going on but is really not blog worthy at this time. Please say a little prayer for Kristena that she will be able to get her energy back. I worry about her a lot especially while I am at work.

One last thing..... We are watching a documentary on A&E on the "White Nationalist Movement aka Skinheads". What in heavens name do these people think about? They pray on the people that have no where else to go or don't have anyone who loves them. Then they convince them that they are loved and accepted by this theology. What can be done within the confines of the law to stop it?. I am thinking we could start with a little soap and water. It is sickening.

So it is growing like a weed.....

2006-06-25T20:16:00.000-05:00

Well even though no one seems to take the time respond to my new posts I am going forward undeterred. I will not let the lack of response get me down. So I as promised here is the trip to Dallas part deux.

First let me tell you a little about Kristena's grandparents and family. They are a cute little couple in their late 60's??? Kristena's grandmother is in a lot of ways Kristena. As Kristena's grandpa was telling stories about things that she does everything sounds like things that Kristena would do. My favorite example of this is when her grandparents walk into a restaurant and her grandmother looks around and determines that this is not clean enough to eat in. Even if they have already been seated and she has a coupon she will decide she does not want anything to eat. Now as I have been there more than once, this places you in a very awkward position. The waiter has most likely determined that there is trouble in paradise but knows that he is getting something out of the deal because you have already placed a drink order. So the question that looms is do you get up and leave or do you let your wife eat the crackers she stole from the last restaurant out of her purse while you order off of the menu. I found out that Kristena's grandpa would eat and let her eat the crackers in her purse which must mean he wears the pants every once in a while in their house. If you guessed that I would get up and leave in hopes of finding something more suitable you win the big prize and also know who wears the pants round this parts.(like anyone didn't already know)

As for the rest of the family that was there , there were a total of 12 grandchildren there including Kristena on Wednesday. (they actually have 14 grandchildren in total and 2.2 great grandchildren) One of her aunts owns 8 of them(no that's not a typo) and her other aunt has three. The age range is from 26 to 7? Kaitlyn kept referring to them as "The Cousins". This prompted Kristena's aunt Susan to say that made her feel like the "Beverly Hillbillies" coming over with the pitch forks and on their tractors. Actually non of them had pitch forks but I did not see what they were driving. Actually, the cool part was the way that the all just included Kaitlyn and Tyler in whatever they were doing. Now there was a little of the older cousin hazing that I have grown to understand is a rite of passage. But they did it in a very sweet way and Tyler was exhausted from hugging everyone that they told him to. And "the cousins" girlfriends made some time to play with Kaitlyn. They said she was learning how to play "go fish" but Kaitlyn told me about how a straight beats two of a kind so I wonder. Anyway they all made time out of their very busy schedules to spend the evening with us which was great. I tried to think back and make sure I did not say anything to embarrass my wife. Actually I got sucked into a story about a guy that one of the cousins referred to as "Nipples". So anyone who knows me knows I can not let a story about a guy nicknamed "Nipples" go by. So I had to hear it luckily it would appear Kristena's grandmother wanted to hear the story as much as I did. Someday if people respond to the blog more often I will share the "Nipples" story.

The final great story that we have to share is from the morning that we left Dallas to head back to the old Sunshine state. Which by the way is not sunny right now. We are into the rainy season down here. But anyway, it was 3:15 in the morning. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth. Kristena won't let me in her van unless she actually hears me brush my teeth. Back to the story so here I am scrubbing the 2 hours worth of sleep off of my teeth and I hear Kristena cracking up. So I come out and it would seem that Kaitlyn was helping mommy change Tyler's diaper and she got a full frontal shot of him. This shot prompted her to turn to Kristena and say "Wow Mommy, Tyler's little willy sure is growing like a weed, its bigger than it was yesterday!" Now before you all get the wild idea we have some sort of weird growth chart we don't. But it made us laugh all the way home. Kids do say the darndest things. Tyler is also starting to notice the difference between boys and girls and as Kristena got out of the shower the other day he pointed and made sure she knew where "momma's willy" was. I was hoping our children would not notice anything until they took a biology class in college.

So I hope that you have found our little family to be amusing. On the pregnancy front we have ruled out the following foods for the time being: pizza, peanut butter cookies, pepperoni, hamburgers(that ones killing me) and bananas. The following foods seem to still be in favor: Watermelon, crackers, ice cream and as always anything Mexican. Momma loves her some Mexican food. We will be fortunate if this child does not come out wearing a sombraro and singing like Ricky Martin or JLO. If its a girl and she has JLO's butt it won't be a fun delivery for mom but Kristena won't care as long as they don't get stingy with the epidural. Other than being exhausted everything else with little peanut is going well.(that's my name for the baby not Kristena). Good night to all.

Let Me Smell You This One......

2006-06-23T20:11:00.000-05:00

Kristena was trapped in the house all week with the kids because taking them anywhere in public together is like taking two monkeys to a banana farm, so we decided to go to the Y for a good ole workout. So we started our workout together on the treadmills. After my warm up of 11 minutes I was finished and decided to go lift weights. Really the reason I decided to get off the treadmill is because the guy next to me kept staring at me, in a few seconds you'll realize why. So I started my weight lifting, but stopped when I kept getting a whiff of something foul. So I went to a different machine and again caught the same smell. As the same group of guys were around me I assumed one of them must have had mexican before they came to the gym. Again I changed my location in the gym. About this time Kristena had finished her time on the treadmill and joined me at one of the machines. She immediately caught a whiff of the same odor. At this point I look around to see who has been following me and I realize the only person following me was my shadow. It would seem that the horrible odor was coming from me. I am not sure what the cause was , but I can only assume it was from the asian food my boss served at his dinner party. So the moral of the story: before you cast the first stinky stone at your neighbor make sure you don't have rotten eggs in your pants.

To further ruin my evening at the gym, during one of my stinky lifting attempts I was across from a very young, fit boy. He was probably 17. As I ended one of my sets I said "Darn" because I couldn't do as many reps as I wanted. The nice young lad offered these words of encouragement "It's ok...it's just great that guys your age are working out at all." I looked at the little tyke and asked him just how old he thought I was. He said "40? 45?" At this point I thought about launching the little whipper snapper right through the glass windows in the back of the gym. So I quickly pointed out that I am only 34 to which he replied "Wow." So now I am going to Kristena's free hair dye stash and try and figure out whether I would look better as a blond or a red head.

My final humiliation of the night came as I was sitting 3 feet behind Kristena as she shopped online for maternity clothes. Now the first thing you need to realize is she would never say anything to hurt my feelings. So as we were putting Tyler to bed I mentioned to her that I thought I still smelled even though I had taken a shower. She burst out laughing. Somehow between her fits of laughter she managed to tell me that the smell was coming from my mouth. It seems she had been sitting in quiet desperation as I breathed my dragon breath while she shopped. I promptly scrubbed my teeth (with a free toothbrush) and gums and tongue until I no longer smelled anything except the sweet smell of toothpaste.

Check back often as we will fill you in on what in our house "is growing like a weed"........

A Big Announcement....

2006-06-22T08:19:00.000-05:00

Well this one will be very short. But before my mom tells the free world. Kristena and I are expecting another little one. We found out via 75 pregnancy tests that she is indeed pregnant. We anticipate the baby to be due sometime in March of 07. So remember her and our family in your prayers as we begin the process of getting ready for a new baby.

The Start of Something New.....

2006-06-19T21:04:00.000-05:00

I thought that each week I would share something kind of like a devotional thought about what I have been pondering about God. So my thought for this week was do you ever wonder if Jesus ever misspoke? You ever think he was telling a story and someone in the crowd did not get the joke and got offended? I do it all the time. I do it mostly when I am tired. My mom always tried to teach me that there is a fine line between a joke and being offensive and she said I would know when I crossed it because people would not laugh. Jesus I am guessing never crossed that line unless he meant to cross it. Must go along with the God to man thing. I am guessing the people that did not get the joke were those that he meant to offend. If you read the old good book you will read about Jesus talking to the Pharisees like they were the ones that were the sinners when the whole time they believed that they were the ones who had it right. He answered their questions with the same sarcasm that I answer questions like Are you really going to wear that? (No my real outfit is underneath this I just thought I would wear this as a protective layer) or Is that your son?(nope just some strange kid that wondered into the yard we put a bowl of food on the porch and then he just wouldn't leave so we decided to keep him). See Jesus knew his time on earth was short and I am sure that he was thinking I don't have time for them to miss the point. So I can't worry if I offend those who claim to speak on My behalf and then sacrifice the masses who will hear or someday read about this exchange. He knew where the line was to keep from offending them but He crossed it in order to offer us a chance to understand how to get to Him and also to realize that often times the rules of religion are just mans interpretation of what God wants and that if we want to know what he wants we need to go straight to Him and ask. He can handle the questions. Really he can.

I read in Mark Lowry's ramblings something he said that I never really thought about which is that old saying "sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you". He was right in saying that words are actually more hurtful. You see wounds of the flesh heal but words that hurt people play back in their minds over and over again over time. When they are having a weak moment and they reach inside themselves to find the strength to accomplish that seemingly impossible task do they find words of hope and encouragement that someone has shared with them. Or do is all they find there put downs and words that have led them to believe they have nothing to offer. If that is you let me be the first to tell you that I will be your cheerleader. You can do it. There is also the head of your fanclub sitting up in heaven and if you listen you can hear him say you are my special creation. I knew you before you were born and I know every hair on your head(which for some of you is more awe inspiring than others. For some of you we all can count the hair on your head) I know you can do this because I made you. We are like the telephone and God is like Alexander Graham Bell. I am sure before the first phone call was placed he sat at his desk and said "I know that it you will ring and I will be able to hear the person on the other end because that is they way I designed you. I know you will work because I know every wire, every nut and bolt." That is God he knows what we can do because at the end of the day He put you together. Every gray hair (Uncle Keever), every wrinkle, every bump or wart He built and at the end of the day He more than any us, knows what we can accomplish if we would only allow ourselves to believe in us as much as He believes in us.

Well that is what God is sharing with me today. God sometimes has a funny way of showing us lessons. God realizes that sometimes it takes me a moment or two to get things so He always chooses to teach me lessons in ways that I can easily understand kind of like a club to the forehead. God used my thick headedness to teach me something so I thought I would share it with you all. For all of you wondering I usually see the line know before I cross it but sometimes I run right across it without a thought. Good night and keep us in your prayers!

Back from the Big "D"

2006-06-17T20:49:00.000-05:00

Well it has been about a week and I just found out that the reason that no one is posting is that some of you can not see the blog. Well I have reposted it and let's see if that works. I have been trying to summarize our trip to and from Dallas. To say it was interesting driving with two young children for 19 hours to and from Dallas is the understatement of the century. Eating fast food all the way there and back is the best way I have found to cleanse the colon ever. So here are the highlights of the trip out there.

We left on a warm summer's morning at 3:30 a.m. We arrived at our first stop of the morning at 7:30 a.m. We thought we would stop for a quick breakfast at a ole family favorite the old McDonalds. Now as we got ready to stop we went around the car and got everyone's order and the kids and Kristena just wanted pancake's. Seems simple enough. So I stand in line as the clerk without a smile takes the orders in front of me. My best guess at the cause of the clerks bad mood must have been related to her failure to make her bowels move over the last 3-4 years. She seemed mad at those of us who appeared to be happy and regular. Anyway I step up for my turn to give her my order and simply ask for 3 orders of hotcakes (what the difference is between pancakes and hotcakes I will never know). She looks at me and snaps we are out of hotcakes. I said how can you be out of hotcakes isn't that like water and mix. But yep they were out. So I step back out of line and regroup. While little Ms. Happy takes a few more orders we decide what we would like. So I step up again and order our food and watch as no one I mean no one in Kitchen has a glove on and they are touching people's food. I am not sure what else they had touch before they touched the food but I am sure I would not want to know. So I order three drinks and some sandwiches. Bearing in mind we have a 6 and 2 year old and their drinks were 2 chocolate milks. But wait they are out of those as well. So now I am thinking maybe the manager should have shut the doors on breakfast. So then I change the order for a third time. I order a sweet tea and some fruit punch. Oops they had not made the tea yet. Say what no tea either. Again seems simple tea is a few bags and some water and a few cups of sugar. Does not require an advance degree in physics just need to know how to make water boil and how to measure sugar. But obviously the morning crew at this McD's did not have the right person to pull it off. So now I am thinking that I wondered into some alternative universe. So to recap what they did not have no hotcakes, no chocolate milk, no tea and then when she delivers the revised order we find out that they are out of....straws. You guess it they are out of straws. I was afraid to go make a doodee for fear they had run out of toilet paper and I would have to use the paper towels (which I sure they were out of) so I would have to hoist my rump into the sink and rinse it off. Kristena was so furious that she had me get a refund for the drinks. The constipated clerk was not very happy to have to refund me 3.00 worth of drink money but hey unless she was going to make me a straw out of a piece of wheat we were not keeping the drinks.

The next stop was better but very, very weird. He stopped in Gulfport, Ms at a lovely Chili's. When we got there it was 12:00 on the button. And the we almost did not go in because it was empty. We thought the food must stink if no one is there at noon. What we did not realize is that somewhere on the way we drifted into central time so really it was only 11:00. But anyway we placed our order for our food. Tyler was thrilled because he was going to have a hot dog. The boy loves his "got gos". It was all going very well. They had everything we asked for straws and all. I even went into the bathroom and they had toilet paper and I guess in case they ran out they had newspaper hanging over the urinals. In case you wondered I used the toilet paper and just read the sports page. So after I returned I was looking around and we noticed a lovely little lizard climbing on what we though was the outside of the window. We realized quickly however that he was planning on joining the young couple near the window for lunch as he was actually on the inside of the window hanging onto one of the slats on the blinds. So I do what any real man would do and I flagged down the waitress to deal with the situation. Hey I had washed my hands and who wanted to hear me scream like a girl when the thing ran up my shorts. I would have then stripped down right there in the middle of Chili's to get it out and that would have ruined more than a few meals. So the waitress a girl in her late teens early twenties attacks. She starts trying to capture the lizard. The lizard thinking how rude I have not even gotten my drink yet runs for his life from the crazed waitress. But this girl has game she dives to the floor and starts scooting on her knees scooping after the lizard. Finally, after sliding under a table she captures the uninvited little guy and tosses the little booger out the front like the person who brought the carrots to a weight watchers meeting. After this she walks out with our food and Kristena and all of us are left to wonder did she scrub the lizard pee off of her hands or did she think hey a little lizard pee is great with Mexican food so serve it up!

So far for those of you scoring the trip restaurant horror stories 2 Jones Family 0. Well we were about to learn that just when you think it could not get worse it can. So we make our final meal break around 7:30 pm at a Whataburger. For those of you who have never been to a Whataburger it is the south's answer to Wendy's and McDonalds. Now we usually have pretty good luck at the old Whataburger. But as you can tell this was not our night. We arrived and much to our surprise there were no cars. Not even employee cars. Now I have since wondered how did they get there but after eating there I believe it was run by a women's prison. That would be my only explanation for the lack of transportation vehicles in the lot. The prison bus brought them in before breakfast and took them away at night. But anyway we walked in and they were obviously not planning to work anymore because they were all gathered around the TV behind the counter. I am guessing they were watching the new Fax show Prison Break looking for pointers. But against our better judgment we order. Something simple, couple of burgers, some fries and some chicken fingers and some drinks. Pay for the meal and they hand Kristena the cups. Now before I tell you what happened there is something you need to know about my wife. She hates germs and errant hair. Nothing grosses her out faster than dirty silverware or plates at restaurant or worse yet finding a hair in her food especially if the hair is short, curly and black. (insert your imagination of where she thinks those hairs come from) So imagine her horror as she looks into one of the cups and finds three black curly hairs curled around the bottom of the cup like worms waiting to be placed on the hook. Literally, I thought she was going to hurl. Fighting her gag reflex, she politely hands the cup back to prisoner 445545 and says "I don't really want this cup". The angry inmate looks in the cup and says oh and tips the cup over and allows the hairs to slide out hands Kristena another cup and then places...that's right places the cup back on the stack to be served to the next victim. So we get our food and it tasted horrible and the whole time I watched Kristena eat as she dissected each and every bite and as she tired of it she just stopped. Throwing in the towel on the remainder of her burger as to make sure she did not throw up in the van. So the final score on the way to Dallas Restaurants 3 Jones Family 0.

Well needless to say it was a long trip the last two hours there and back the kids got a little rowdy and Tyler only slept for about 45 mins the entire way there. Anybody know a legal way to drug your 2 year old on road trips so that he will sleep. We probably would have been fine except Kaitlyn decided that Tyler wanted to watch Disney's High School Musical 6 times in a row. Even the pope would have cussed after the 2 time and I am pretty sure if Tyler could have he would have taken a hammer to the DVD after 4th time. But we made it there and back and we did not lose our minds. Next blog we will deal with our time with Kristena's grandparents. The are a great couple of people but as always with our luck there is always something funny that happens. Stay tuned to hear Kaitlyn thoughts on Tyler's little "willy".

Great Balls of Fire....

2006-06-04T19:33:00.000-05:00

Well I have been asked to post more often and as me and family will be in Texas over the next week I thought I would give you another new one to mull over during our absence. So where to begin....How about we talk about our Friday night. Once a month Kristena and I take advantage of the YMCA and drop our children off there for their parents night out. This last Friday was no exception. We joyously walked them through the door and ran like the the wind out of there to get a little quiet time. We always try to get some dinner and then shop for ourselves while they are in there. This time we hit our local Kohls. After loading our arms with nearly everything that we could carry we went to check out. First of all I have confirmed that Kohls will hire almost anybody. The all star we drew as our check out clerk had probably already maximized his career path based on his performance on this job. For example, as we were checking out he seemed quite confused when the register prompted him to check the shoe sizes. It took him some time to study the message. Then as the smoke from his ears began to fill the store and we all began to bust out our umbrella's as we were all sure the sprinkler system would be activated he made a decision and just cleared the message. Never did he crack open a box per the register's instructions. I am sure that the person that built the program that runs the register thought well we have made this idiot proof. That leaves me with only two conclusions either he cannot read and our school system let that fish escape the net or the more likely is that the register was not designed for new generation of idiots who can read but refuse to follow basic instructions.

This however was not the highlight. All through out the transaction I kept looking at Kristena and she had this really odd look. I thought she was in shock because of how much we had spent. But that was not it at all. It seems that while I was checking the shoe sizes for our brian surgeon he decided to right in front of her do a little scratch and shift. It seems that the boys downstairs must have been a little itchy and instead of waiting for a break after his customers left he decided to stir the boys and just keep right on scanning our clothes. The best part was when he finished ringing up our stuff he took the hand that he had been juggling his junk with grabbed the receipt and handed it to Kristena and said thank you with a sly little smile. She was so grossed out. Ever since I have tried to work the word balls into every sentence I can. When we got home on Friday I was setting at the table and sniffed the clothes we had just bought and said man what is the strange aroma. It smells a little ballish. Ain't I a laugh a minute. No wonder she feels so lucky to have married me.

Well on to a little more clean story. Saturday was big day at our house the two ladies of the house were both involved in a race. Kristena ran a 5K. Which is about 4.99K further than I can run. She did great. Kristena asked Kaitlyn if she wanted her to run with her, but Kaitlyn said "no mommy I can run by myself". Kaitlyn ran in the one mile fun run. Which oddly enough is about .99 miles further than I can run. Actually I take that back I would probably run a mile for a warm Krispy Kreme right now. I would stand there watching as it tumbled off of the conveyor belt as it hits its warm glaze bath then as it rolls out and the glaze begins to sit up they would peel it off and hand it to me. That I would run for. Anyway Kaitlyn ran that whole mile. The only time she slowed down was to mess with her hair that was bothering her. As she crossed the finish line she was given a medal. We were so proud of her! I think that the next time she is going to run with Kristena in the longer race. Mommy is a little afraid that Kaitlyn will beat her if they run together because she was haulin.

Tyler's highlight of the weekend was that we got him a new car seat. His old one was in need of a replacement as he had managed to stick his hand up in it and break off the stryrofoam inside of it. So we went to Target and got him a new one today. You would have thought that we bought him the best new toy in the world. While he was napping I assembled it and got it into the van. Kristena told him when he got up that he could go see it and his eyes lit up. As soon as we ate dinner we went for ride to sweep the van out and get a couple of things at the store. He could not wait. He sat back there the entire time playing with his new cup holder and sat with his little arms on the new arm rests. Kaitlyn kept trying to get him to trade her booster seat for his new car seat. He said "no deedee my new car seat". Anyway when we got home he did not want to get out he sobbed saying "no go bye-bye again". The only things that consoled him were some pretzels and a little mickey mouse. We are hoping that this means he will want to sit in it for 17 hours while we drive to Texas.

As a part of our public service announcement related to saving money at your local grocery store today Kristena went to Publix and the total before coupons and sales was $53.22 and after Kristena worked her magic we only ended up paying $11.12!!!! Ain't it amazing. She gets quite a rush from watching them knock the total down. The deal of the week was the shout which was a bonus size to start with and then when it was all said and done it was .42 a bottle. If you want to know how she did it let me know and she can post it when we get back. Anyway we will write more when we get back. Everyone have a safe week and say a little prayer for us as we travel to and from Texas.

I should be working.....

2006-06-02T09:33:00.000-05:00

Well I have read your demands for a new entry so here it is. I am ignoring the 1,000 things that I should do because I must fulfill the needs of my public. (Man I don't know how famous people actually believe stuff like that). Well let's see.......Watched the spelling bee last night. It was like watching the NBA of spelling. For those of you who have read my blog you know that I can not spell. I hav nevr ben abl 2 spel. It iss sumting I relly struglle wth.(hahahahaha) But these kids knew who to spell words in German, French and some words they claim were English but I have never even heard of. It was amazing. So girl from NJ won the whole thing she spelled a couple of words at the end that I think they just slammed some letters together and then made up a definition for. I think that is how they do it because one of the judges is a priest and I guess after they lie and tell the kids it is actually a word they can lean over and confess. If I thought that is how it works I would have priest follow me around at work and everytime I want to strangle one of employees I would just confess my awful thoughts and move on.

The first week of summer vacation is here and so far Kristena has not lost her mind with both kids home. I would say it has gone as good as you could have expected it to. She has taken them to Y a couple of days and we have gone in the evenings a couple of times. Kaitlyn has a great flair for the dramatic and everything she does not want to do turns into her flinging herself down to the ground or her crossing her arms and saying "fine" and storming out of the room. But that has only happened a couple of times and the rest of the time she is creating. Like this last weekend was Kristena's birthday and she and I made Kristena a cake. We even decorated it. Kaitlyn and I decided to make it a quilted pattern like some of Kristena's scrapbook paper. It is a good thing she loved the effort because let's just say I am not ready for Food TV quite yet. Tyler on the other hand is a parrot. Whatever Kaitlyn or his favorite show on TV says he repeats. Yesterday Kristena had him wash his hands and when he gets done washing them he likes to shake them dry(probably because we told him not to) however yesterday he got down on all fours and shook like a dog. When Kristena asked what he was doing he said " I shake like puppy". We don't have a dog so where he saw it I am not quite sure but hey it was really cute.

We went to an ABS class last night at the "Y". I figured I have an enourmous ABS section so I thought it would be a class I could excell in. What I found is this should be the miltary's new way of getting prisoners to talk. They make you work and man today it hurts to take deep breath. I went to cough this morning and thought that I pulled my belly button. (Not sure what that really means but I am pretty sure I have the worlds largest belly button Tyler can park three match box cars in there and still have room for all of the lint!) Anyway all of that was said to say I am trying to do my part to support my mom so I am dieting down here.(mainly I am doing so that I can not get rolled back in the ocean when we go to the beach. The constant yells to call animal rescue and keep his blow hole moist are quite embarrasing). So far I have lost 15 lbs which is like saying a carried a spoonful of sand off of the beach. Just 120 more and I will look just like picture my cousin Kelley posted on her blog of Tim Mcgraw except I have more hair and less money.

I turned 34 this month. It hit me today when I went to entered my age on the treadmill at the gym that I am firmly in my mid-30's. I know some of you out there are older (mom, marsha, kelley,sue,bev,grandma, grandpa actually I am younger than most of you) and you probably think that 34 is young. But as I have stated in previous posts getting older ain't easy so here are some things that I am learning as I get older:

1) As you get older you find the urge to pick and examine everything your body creates. If you don't know what I mean come over to my mom's house right after she gets up and watch her pick her eyes open. I swear one morning she pulled something out that was big enough for the kids to roll up and play catch with. I understand that the body creates things as we get older that must be removed but maybe we don't need to play with it like it is a pet. My favorite is to sit at the cracker barrell and watch the old men sit around and pick their ear wax out with their car keys. The stick their key in far enough to itch their brain and then pull it out look at it from every angle occasionally give it a sniff then wipe it on their pants. Who said getting older ain't graceful.

2) You forget what you are doing. Several times over the last couple weeks I have started doing something and got distracted(maybe by a shiny ball or one of the kids) and never got back to doing. This can wear on your mate. Several times over the last couple weeks I will get gas for the cars stop at the store and forget to give the receipts to Kristena. She keeps track of all of our money as I often forgot to balance my checkbook and would forget you had to have money in your account in order to write checks. Like now I was doing something else and then opened my blog and oddly enough here I am. Most of the time this habit manifests itself in me walking around with my zipper down because as I was getting dressed something happened and boom forgot to lock the horse in the barn.

3) Finally, and I think this is just in my family. I will be talking and just stop. Mid-sentence mid thought just stopped. It is like my brain just quit telling my mouth to move. The worst part is that I usually don't know it happened. It is quite annoying to the listener. So if I am talking to you and all of the sudden I............

Well gotta get back to work. It is one of those days where I spin the wheel and decide what project to work on. Today it is the contract with our attorney network. I get to boss around a bunch of attorney's who are all millionaires and here I am telling them what they can and cannot do. Only in America. We are off to Texas next week for a conference and a chance to see Kristena's grandparents who we have not seen for a couple of years. Kristena's grandmother is the one who got her started couponing and when they get on the phone the talk for a couple of hours about just about everything. It is good that we all have been blessed to have our grandparents around for a large part of our lives. So if you can give your grandparents a hug or a call today or tonight. So grandma and grandpa I love you and I will call tonight really I will.

Goodbye to Kindergarten

2006-05-24T19:18:00.000-05:00

Well today was our big day. Kaitlyn graduated from Kindergarten. What a special day. As you can see she was beautiful in her new graduation dress and corsage(i bought it for her for her special day). She handled it much better than we did. We actually did better than you would expect and did not really shed any tears through the cermony. The tears did not come until we went back to her classroom and her teacher who was really great played a mini-movie she made out of pictures that she had taken throughout the year. I looked over and Kristena was very emotional and that only made me cry more. It was a really special moment and Kaitlyn's teacher made copies of the movie for all of the parents. Tomorrow is actually her last day of class but they are only going a half day then summer begins. Where does time go? It seems like yesterday we were deciding between moving to Florida or moving to Texas. When we got here we were told that school start in less than 6 weeks and that we need to have an address in the school district we want her to attend and so that hunt began. We bought a house and moved in and then less than two weeks later she started school. Then she was moved out of her class into a new one with a teacher we did not know. We were mad and now at the end of the year we could not have imaged a better scenario. Mrs. Jarriel showed such compassion and such patience with Kaitlyn and she has just matured so much I can hardly believe it. Kristena was one of the room mom's and she got to be a part of Kaitlyn's first school experience and really loved it. So if you have the chance help out as much as possible.

Well I would like to tell you that there is something hilarious tripping around the dark parts of my mind but there isn't. Actually we are watching Dateline NBC about these awful men who show up to have sex with kids. I wonder what these people think about. I wish I could be there as the enter the pearly gates and explain that to Saint Peter. Well I was just going over there to talk. I imagine Peter telling him that he probably won't need that sweater he brought with him.

The view from the mens room

2006-05-19T21:15:00.000-05:00

As I have mentioned we have a membership to the local YMCA. We actually go to one of the nicest YMCA's I have ever been to. When I was in elementary school my mom and dad decided it would be a good idea for me to take the bus from school to the YMCA to learn how to swim. What they did not bother to check out was the odor in the locker room. To this day if I smell something that smells like socks that have been wore by a 1,000 pound person as they work their way up 117 flights of stairs then used to clean the bottom of a trash can then placed in a zip lock for a week then laid in a locker I think of my first trip to the Y. This would explain why I would hide out in the lobby instead of changing clothes in the locker room and going swimming. At least the lobby smelled like mildew and not like the locker room.

Anyway I think that we should place a disclaimer on this entry. Several of things I will be telling you about are scary and may if you think about them cause you to lose sleep several nights over the next several weeks. But because I have seen them you are about to hear about them.

Now I have just started back to the new Y last week and there are a lot people that have decided to start up. I think its because the summer's here are like living on the surface of the sun. It gets so hot that I am thinking about strapping sponges underneath my armpits to keep from sweating through my shirts. But back to what I saw this morning. As I was doing some reps on the old machines I glanced up and saw what I thought was a man working out in a pair of running shorts and a sports bra. So as you might imagine I did a double take. It is not often in life you see a large male working out in a public gym wearing only a bra and shorts. I was disappointed in the my large workout buddy fat people should never expose that much flesh especially as he had an extremely hairy upper body especially in the belly area. But then it all went wrong. He spoke. And much to my surprise those were not man boobs he was sporting he was a she. She had more hair on her chest than my Uncle Keever and that my friends is making a statement. Now I know your thinking maybe she was still a he and he just sounded like Michael Jackson. I tell you that is not true. Although I was wondering if a sports bra would be comfortable for a guy. I think since I have put on some weight I am probably a nice 58 C. Picture that as you try and go to sleep tonight.

As I stated above this is a very nice Y. A lot of doctors and professional people work out there and that makes it very nice. However, I have found at least with these men there is no...how do I say.... modesty. So I have attempted to write a poem summarizing my experience today at the Y. It is not something that you will ever see in a book of poetry but hey got to start somewhere.

I stood by a sink shaving my face with my pants and my shirt and my shoes all laced. But what did my wondering eyes did I see but a man in buff for the whole world to see. He did not reach to cover up his parts but picked at his butt and his other manly parts. Pick, Pick, Pick he continued his quest but how far would he dig before he regressed. I watched as he paused and seemed to relax but do you think he got dressed? Not this man of absolutely no tact. Instead of reaching for his pants or a shirt. He sniffed at his finger, stared at his back admiring himself but still focused on his crack. As I ran for the door I heard myself plead please cover your berries and nuts would you please.

So that was my workout this morning. My wife is telling me that I need to go to bed because it is late. I have copyrighted the poem so no using it for term papers or Jason in your next sermon at church. Have a super weekend and I will post again soon.

It s Official She's a Genius....

2006-05-16T20:38:00.000-05:00

Parental BRAGGING moment

Well as most of you know if you keep up on the blog our daughter Kaitlyn had to take a standardized test a couple of months ago as a part of her kindergarten curriculum. And much to our surprise we really stressed out about the results. Not because we thought she was not smart but because there were so many implications for such a young lady if she did not feel she did well. As it turned out we were worried for nothing. The results came back today and she did great. That ranked her in the:

99th percentile for word reading
99th percentile for sentence reading
97th percentile for total reading
93 percentile for math
67 percentile for sounds and letters (she only missed three out of 40) .

She was really bummed she missed any questions which can only mean she takes her school work ethic from her mom. She really is amazing just ask her she'll tell you. Can you tell that we liked to brag. Actually I think that she really loves school and loves to learn. Her teacher likens her to a little sponge in class.

In other Jones family news as some of you know my mom has been in the hospital. Luckily she is okay. The downside is she will be there until her blood pressure returns to normal which for my mom has not happened since she was 15 or 16 I guess. So if you want the full story hit the link on this page to my sisters blog and she will fill you in on all of the details.

Finally, we are off to Texas in a couple of weeks. Dallas to be more specific. I got the opportunity to attend a conference there and we have been trying to get out to see Kristena's grandparents since Tyler was born. We can not beleive that it has been over 2 years since we have been back but we are looking forward to seeing them again. Her grandmother (not granny, grandma or nana but she prefers grandmother) has been really applying the guilt on Kristena over the last couple of months(really years) for us to get down there. So we are spending a couple of extra days in order to get to see her family.

Well that seems to be it for now. I leave you with this thought: What would happen if we all really did what our doctors told us to do? I guess with all of things that have happened over the last couple of days I was wondering that. So next time you let the stress of life get you all pushed over the edge take a couple of minutes to be sure you realize that nothing about your job is worth your health or your life. If it is not somewhat enjoyable and all you are is stressed maybe it is time to move on. Try something like making fries at Wendy's. It is as simple as rip bag, pour in basket, lower into grease, turn on timer, remove at the beep, salt and serve. Seems pretty easy to me... but then again I have had some pretty awful fries in my lifetime so I guess maybe even this seems stressful to somebody.

Its almost mother's day....

2006-05-11T11:49:00.000-05:00

Well it has been awhile. It is not for a lack of trying but I can never seem to get a posted finished and since my sister has entered the blogging world I feel like I need to polish each one before I click publish. So let's catch you up on the haps these last few weeks here at the Jones house.

First, Tyler counted to ten to the other day. Seven is a little hard to understand but 1-6 are clear as a bell and same goes for nine and ten. He will only count when he wants to and that is pretty rare. I realized that I have become my mother in that regard. When we would go places (she still does this) she goes come on tell them that story or sing that song or dance my little monkey dance. All parents want to show how talented their kids are but when she made us wear the signs that said "will dance for food" I think that is when it got a little twisted.

In other Tyler news he also went potty. That is to say he went potty on the toilet as he is now two he has went potty a lot since he was born. If not he would have swelled up like a balloon by now and we most likely would have taken him to the doctor. He likes to sit there and wipe his "willy"(our slang for his little man parts) with the toilet paper and say "all done". It is pretty cute and when you visit I will make him do it for you if you would like : )

Kaitlyn is almost done with school. She will be a first grader next year. We can't believe that a year has passed. She has grown so much not just in size but in maturity. My Birthday was a couple days ago(for those who forgot it is alright I have only had 34 of them and no longer require the constant reminders of just how old that is) and she and Kristena made me breakfast and a cake and then Kaitlyn went into her room and brought me out one of her stuffed animals as my present to go along with the card she made me. She is very special and I go to bed everynight and pray that she does not decided to date until she is 40. That way I don't have to break out the meet the boyfriend outfit. The outfit is a sleeve less white t-shirt(sleeves will be ripped off), jean shorts (cut-off), ball hat around backwards and Kristena's gun on the table ready to be cleaned. I will then set the young man down as a clean her gun(Kristena will need to teach me how) and explain about curfew and how much my little mudpie means to me and how much I hate it when she gets hurt. If he doesn't go running screaming into the night he, Kaitlyn, Tyler, Kristena and I can go get some pizza and see some movies. I figure by the time she is forty I won't be intimidating enough to pull that stunt off anymore.

Well I guess I should address the subject line. This Sunday is mother's day. So if you were looking for all jokes consider this your:

"SAP ALERT"

I have been very fortunate to have had several great mom's in my life. One being my wife. She takes very good care of us all. One of the things that I realized about her early on was just how much she loved Kaitlyn. She has given her all to raising Kaitlyn and Tyler and she is terrific at it. I hope she reads this and realizes how much she means to us. As I watch Kaitlyn and Tyler grow up from babies to little adults I realize just how much her taking her time even when she is tired and worn out to read to them and play with them effects them as people. Being a stay at home mom is tougher than I would have ever imagined and she does it with such style and grace that it makes me love her even more. She is our kids and my best friend and she is building memories with them that they can have for the rest of their lives. One day they will be sitting around telling the stories of how mommy use to climb into their play school bus and pretend to drive and when mommy and I made daddy his birthday cake. She has my vote as she does every year for mom of the year! We love you honey!

The next is my mom. She raised three great kids. The greatest being probably Tom when they finally close the book on it all(actually it will probably be me who are we kidding here: )). But she did it in less than ideal circumstances and even though as she gets older she forgets our birthday's, she has no idea what time we were born or how much we weighed we love her and appreciate the sacrifices she made in order to make it all work. I have so many silly mom stories that I just thought I would share one. When I was eighteen and I had a minor incident with the authorities my mom believed in me. She never questioned my innocence and she defended me with all she had. She never let me give up and she helped me to find some humor in a very scary situation. So good job mom and remember that you are always welcome to come stay with us. Just go to our house in Canal Winchester knock on the door someone will be right there. :) We love you mom!

Then there is Grandma Hersman. She has always been the one to make sure that we had clean clothes, made sure that the lights stayed on when she did not have to, and even made sure that someone prayed for us everyday no matter what. While I did not all appreciate the worrying over me she did when I was a kid but I really appreciate that now. So Grandma you worry about whatever you want and don't apologize for it. Thanks for making sure that I had pizza money when I went back to college I never told Grandpa (oops guess I did now). We love you Grandma!

Then their is my mother in law Leslie. She is a very sweet person and we adore her she always makes sure that I can eat my weight in "PEEPS" every holiday(that's good and bad luckily the house has large door ways). Everytime I see her or talk to her she always laughs at my jokes and witty comments(even though some aren't that funny). We hope we get to see you more once everything there calms down a little. When Kristena and I got married in Las Vegas we went to dinner I got out of the lemo and she said to me "I have a son in law". I have never been quite sure what she meant by that. Was she meaning "This is great, he is a super guy and what a pick up. Good Job Kristena" or was it more like "is it to late to talk her out of it. They got married in Las Vegas this thing probably wasn't even legal. She and I will discuss how to get rid of him after we ditch him near that craps table"We love you, Les!

oops...Almost forgot someone I spent a lot of time with throughout my life and that is my Aunt Marsha. She is really not my aunt she is technically my cousin but I always thought she was my Aunt because she and my mom acted more like sister's than cousin's. The thing I remember the most about Marsha is when they lived on Grand Avenue and my mom and dad were getting divorced she always made us feel welcome. Marsha always made me feel like one of her kids that was great at snack time but not so great when we did not do what she asked us to do. She never made us feel like we were in her way or that she did not have time for us. She did not even get mad when I gashed Andrea's head open and she needed stitches. It was great during those times to know that we could go somewhere where we all could escape the drama of the divorce and the uncertainty and Marsha just gave us a hug and let us be us. Everytime I see her I can not wait to give her a hug and get that big smile that says I love you. Marsha you never know how much that meant to me. I love you aunt Marsha!

I sure there other's but I guess all of that is to say that the kids and I are very blessed to have such strong, smart and super role models to show us the way. I love each of you very much and to all the mom's, aunt's and grandma's who read this Happy Mother's Day!

A few pics of the kids

2006-05-01T20:43:00.000-05:00

Well in response to the many requests Kristena and I have uploaded some photos that show you our children's spirit. In the first picuture was taken tonight. Kaitlyn lost her very first tooth. I am not sure who it was more tramatic on mom or Kaitlyn. I think it was the reality that this was the last big little girl milestone. Kaitlyn is right now in bed with her room booby trapped in hopes of catching the tooth fairy. What she does not realize is that her 300+ lb daddy is the tooth fairy and I have the costume to prove it!! I will post the photos of me in the costume at a later time.

The second was on Easter morning we had made Kaitlyn hunt for their Easter baskets because Tyler had been so sick the week before. We were still trying to get him to eat some food so we had made them sit for several pictures to try and get just the right one of them in their new shades. When we looked at the ones we took this was my personal favorite. Kaitlyn is a hoot and is showing you the same look she gives us when we tell her to clean her room or eat some broccoli.

The final one was during one of Tyler's binges after he got out of the hospital. We had made mashed potatoes the night before. (by made i mean daddy heated the water and added the faux potatoes). He loved them. So for the lunch the next day Kristena heated them up and he went to town. He is his daddy's boy! For those of you wondering that is his smile. When you say smile to take his picture he scrunches up his little nose and grins as big as he can. It is the mischevious look in his eye that usually tells us he is about to get into trouble.

Well it is getting late and mommy and daddy have to decide what the going rate is for a tooth nowadays. Good night to all and enjoy the pics of our little nugget and booger!

A little more gibberish.....

2006-04-29T20:02:00.000-05:00

Well I am back. I have started three other entries and can not get them to a point that I like. I have somehow taken this on as a job and I want to make sure that each entry offers something funny. So I guess I have had "blog block"as I would not call writing these entries as true writing especially the way I do it. So this is just rambling thoughts I may not even spell check it.

For those of you who keep tabs Tyler just turned 2. Yep that's right the little man is now old enough to tell us "no" but too young to get into too much trouble for it. Everyday offers new changes, new words, new facial expressions and always more laughs. First thing you need to know is he is daddy's little clone. He looks like me and often times acts like me. His new phrase today is "that's not good". He will just walked up to you as you are doing something and say "that's not good". He also has the best little fake laugh. If you say something and everyone laughs and he does not get it he tilts his little head back and gives you his best fake laugh. He is developing so fast and is like a little sponge. I attribute that to my wife. Kristena has been a great stay at home mom, she reads and talks to him. They play and she is his best friend. He loves to "nuggle" with mommy in the morning when he drinks his milk. This morning he walked into our bedroom after I got his diaper changed and slammed his hand down on the bed and said "mama get up". That didn't happen so he got in bed with her and nuggled there. I never really appreciated all it takes to be a stay at home mom and it is difficult at times but I am so glad that we have been so blessed so that Kristena can stay with Kaitlyn and him during these all important times.

Life at work is full of change as well. While Tyler was in the hospital my boss at work(not to be confused with my boss at home, love you honey) "resigned". Kristena has tried to resign a couple of times but I will not let her! Not sure why he resigned for sure but he was a very nice man and if you get a chance say a little prayer it will all work out for him. So now I report to the same person I use to work for in Texas. It is really a small world especially if you are 300+ pound man in a airplane bathroom. Now that is small. Better hope you don't need to wipe anything!! But for those around you at least give it your best shot!

My mom and grandpa were here for Tyler's birthday party on Friday. My grandma was too sick to come. I personally think that after one day of having my mom at her house she needed some quiet time and played hooky(sp?). Tyler and Kaitlyn loved it. We had a big day. We went to Kaitlyn's school and had lunch, then had a cookout, Tyler got to open his gifts then we took off and went to Kaitlyn's soccer game and Kaitlyn's team won for only the second time this season! Tyler calls my grandpa "papa" and my mom "mimi" and my grandma "ma" now every old couple where the man is bald in the back and the woman has that football helmet hair he calls them "mapapa". He is always disappointed when he realizes that is not really them. He would spend all of his time with them if we would let him. I guess that is just the way it was for me when I was little. All day today everytime we saw a mini-van like theirs he would yell out "mapapa".

The highlight of Kristena's day was getting to show off "George" and her stockpile. For those of you who have not heard of "George" he is her coupon holder. George is no ordinary coupon holder he is a three inch three ring binder loaded to the hilt with coupons. He weights almost enough that we may have to buy a diesel pick-up truck in order to get him to and from the store. What started as a way to get our grocery bill down a little has now become a mission to get as much stuff for free as possible. George has multiple sections and is extremely organized just like she is. She is a whiz at it and we now have enough cereal and toothpaste to get us thru until the rapture. We have so much cereal that we have to write the expiration dates in a big black marker on the side of the box so that we eat it all before it expires. The other day our bug service company came to re-treat(we spotted a couple of ants that were probably running from all of the chemicals in the yard) and the bug guy opened our pantry and looked at Kristena and says"Wow, you number your cereal". It is quite overwhelming when a box is empty to know what to open next. The biggest excitement in our house is when we run out of something and get to "shop" in the pantry for its replacement. The things that get exciting after you are married and have kids!!!!

Well I guess that is it for now. I wanted to tell my cousin's Holly and Kelley thanks for the pictures of Andrea's wedding they were awesome. Holly your kids a beautiful! Almost as cute as ours : ) Stay tuned for the next few maybe I will finish the other two sometime this weekend and post those at some point. To my mother in law, know you are in our thoughts and prayers! We love you! Same to the rest of you! And Scooter hugs and kisses from Biggy J!!!!

Gettin old ain't easy.....

2006-04-19T21:08:00.001-05:00

Think that all there is to getting old is just sitting there listening to your face wrinkle?It isn't. I found out that getting old can be physically painful. What do I mean you ask. I dislocated one of my toes this week. I would like to tell you it was some sort of sports injury or I got hurt running into burning building to save a kitten or something like that. But that was not the case. Do you know how I hurt my toe? I sat with it bent in the same position to long. Yes that's right I was having a stressful day at work on Monday and sat with my toes bent too long and it dislocated itself. That I believe may be in the book under " you might be getting old if"......you sit with a body part in one position too long that it dislodges itself from the joint. So to all of you that are in your thirties or not quite there yet this is what you have to look forward to.

So this week has been eventful. Kaitlyn got the flu on Monday. We were worried that she had contracted what Tyler had but luckily it was the puke and go kind of illness. (sorry that is slang for the 24 hr. stomach virus some people call White Castle the "puke and go" so I thought that it was important to be specific). Much like when Tyler was sick Kaitlyn only wanted Kristena so that meant that Kaitlyn got to sleep in our room while Daddy slept on the couch. She loved it. She would sleep in there all of the time if we would let her. She is getting so big. She is almost through her first year in Kindergarten and it amazes me what they learn in "K". She's learned to read, some basic grammar (comma's, period's etc anyone wishing yet that I would let her make sure my grammar is correct) and addition and subtraction. I think the only thing I learned in Kindergarten was that it is hard for large little boys to jump rope and that naps in the afternoon after your milk and graham crackers is a pretty awesome thing.

To further make me feel old she had to take a standardized test this week!?! She is only in Kindergarten!!! I know I did not take a test in kindergarten except making sure I remembered that boogers were not part of good nutritional diet. She is a little worried she may have missed a question or two but thinks she did well.(in case you were wondering). We were telling her how smart she was the other night and she simply said "I know, I am smart". Never underestimate how important confidence is.

She is growing into such a little lady. It seems like that all we do is buy her clothes and shoes. Everytime I turn around her toes are hanging over the front of her sandals. (we don't buy tennis shoes here stays to hot to long) We don't want that to happen until she can make those decisions for herself. I mean really you have seen the women or men at the mall with their big talon toes hanging over the edge of their sandals. Really do they think that if the put on a size 6 and they normally wear a size 9 that the shoes still do fit. So if you put on your sandals and your toes curl over the top so far that you can scratch a piece of dried gum off the floor with your toes without taking your sandals off then maybe you should have bought the next size up. Really there should be no reason that your sandals should create a "hang over".(hang over is defined as the excess foot drooping over an ill fitted pair of open toed shoes) . If you have shoes that create hang over gather them up and either donate them, throw them away or burn them. My daughter is complaining about her "hang over" so her and Kristena are going shoe shopping on Saturday.

So I said all of that to say man does time fly. The daughter that lives here is not the same little girl that stormed into my life and stole my heart just 4 years ago. When I met her for the first time I went with Kristena to pick her up from daycare. She would not speak. I mean not just to me but literally she would not say a word while I was in the car but as soon as I got out of the car Kristena said she just would not be quiet. She eventually opened up while I was helping Kristena get her first apartment ready. I was in Kaitlyn's new room helping her get her table and chairs cleaned up and all she said did was start pointing out the spots I had missed. It was the first time she had ever spoken to me and I was thrilled to reclean all of them until she was satisfied. I was not sure where she got that bossiness from but now after 3 years of wedded bliss I think I may have figured it out :)(love you hunny!!). She now is my girl. I love to watch her run and play soccer and get embarrassed as we mention the various boys that she has a little crush on at school. I especially love to take her to class and after I say good-bye turn around and make a ridiculous face at her in front of all of her friends. She acts like it bothers her but I know secretly she loves it.

I can not wait to see what she grows up to be. I am sure what ever she decides to become she will be the best at. She has promised to live with us forever and never move away. Kristena has made her sign a contract to that effect but I am not sure that it will stand up in court after she turns 18. I often think what she would be great at and I think that she will be an actress. She can generate drama out of almost anything. From the turkey towel on the ship(which she still mentions) to just picking out a pair of underwear. She would be great. The next Julia Roberts.

Well that's all I got for now. Hope you have enjoyed today's rant. Remember to stretch those toes every so often(only if you are over 30!). Congrats to Kelley for passing her test and to my cousin's Andrea and Jon(they are not related I called him my cousin but he won't be my cousin officially until after the wedding) for getting married. You will love married life!!! Have a good night all!!!

A semi serious one.....

2006-04-12T21:09:00.000-05:00

Well it has been a rough week here in the Jones house. As I stated before Tyler had been sick and then this last weekend he got really sick. So sick we took him to the ER on Sunday night. He was so badly dehydrated that they needed to check him in for a couple days. He came home yesterday and he is on a restricted diet they call a BRAT diet. Which means he can only have bananas, rice,applesauce,and tea or toast(that fits the acronym so I guess that must be right). He hates the diet I think that's because it is called a diet and well everyone in my family hates diets. It has been very hard to keep him on it (I have very little experience with staying on a diet), but hey were trying. He goes back to the doctor tomorrow and we are hoping that the Dr. will allow us to start feeding him some other things. Wifey Pooh told me that today he walked out of the pantry caring a bag of potatoe(will use the Quail spelling) chips. It was so sad and he cried when we told him no. He has begging for fruit snacks. He keeps asking for snacks and when Kristena does not follow him right away he comes over and graps her hand and tries to drag her off of the couch and to the pantry.

During the last couple days we have had to watch as our son was poked and prodded. He had to get an IV and we had to hold him down as they drew out his blood from his little arms. All the time he would cry and we would say just a little longer and he would look up and through his tears and say in his little voice "okay". We wanted to take all of that pain and that sickness away and we could not. No matter how much I wanted to there was nothing I could do for him. I wanted to lash out and make the nurses and doctors stop. But all we could do was hold him and cry with him. Then as I sat with him in his hospital room as he was sleeping on my lap I wonder what God must have thought as his Son was hanging there. Did he go through the thoughts of wanting to end His Son's suffering. Did he want to lash out and hurt the guards who were whipping his Son. Did he want to do the same things I wanted to do the nurses to the guards that pounded the nails. I don't think so but if I were God I know I could not have just watched it happen. I guess that since I have had Kaitlyn and Tyler, I understand the sacrifice a little more and what it must have taken to let all of that happen for a bunch of people who had turned their backs on Him. He loved us so much that He permitted all of that to happen and his Son just hung there and wept for us and did not try and move and just simply said "Okay". I guess I never appreciated as much as I do now.

Sorry that was a pretty serious rant there. For those of you who tune in for a laugh that may not get the work done but this is my journal so I thought I needed to share that.

Hey something great happened in the midst of all of this....WE GOT A TIVO!!!!!! For free..... really we did. It is the greatest thing unless you are on the computer in the other room and it runs on about a 1 second delay so if you have it on the same channel then makes you a little nutty. But is great because if you miss a line of dialogue or have to go tinkel then you can pause the TV. That is right you can pause it!!!! It is great when you have to have that bowl of ice cream or nab those chips or your mom calls at the most critical part of your favorite show. You can talk and never miss a beat. I highly recommend it.

In case I don't get the chance to post before Easter everyone have a great Easter!

A semi serious one.....

2006-04-12T20:07:00.000-05:00

A lot of gibberish.......

2006-04-03T12:41:00.000-05:00

Well I started this entry a couple of days ago. As I told my wife I really could not come up with a theme for it. I was home today because my wife and son have had the awful flu. I mean the kind that is like nature turned on the faucet. My poor son got sick right before bed. So say a little prayer. I watched American Idol tonight and it was nothing special. Actually, it was pretty awful. I think that at least 10 members of my family could have done most of those songs better. But anyway no theme tonight just some random thoughts and something special for my cousin Andrea and her new slave, I mean hubby Jon.

First for Andrea and Jon. Jon and Andrea I am sorry we can not come to the wedding but here are some helpful hints from your older if not wiser cousin Big John or Biggy J as they call me in the hood. Word to my peeps!!!

1) Always remember to laugh together. Sometimes once you get married you get so caught up with the bills, the kids, the job, that you forget to crack a joke. Now my wife and I don't have this problem as she is married to me but seriously never forget that sometimes all we can do in life is laugh. If you can't think of something funny just fart. Farting never fails to bring the house down unless you are in your bosses office or in the boardroom. (been there done that and believe me it is a career ender)

2) Never stay mad longer than 17 minutes at each other. I choose 17 because I thought 15 was not long enough depending on the offense but 20 was to long and may cause some emotional scaring. This will be especially important after the first year. The first year is usually bliss. Except for the thoughts of my word can she have anymore clothes and will he ever pick up his socks and rinse the dishes after he eats out of them. Did he think he married the maid. (Not that my wife ever thinks that about me!) Actually they are all good. I was just being silly. I am happy, happy, happy I was not sure so I asked Kristena and she said I was, so I am.

3) Jon your wrong. You will always be wrong and it is better to learn to suppress the urge to fight back when she says your wrong. Just go "I am sorry honey, your right" no matter what she says that you have done whether you did it or not. This will be especially important during any pregnancies.

4) Finally, remember that it all is a journey. There are great highs and great lows but at the end of the day you are on the journey with each other. You have found that person that God sent for you. You found them when the time was right. You have sifted through all the other's that came your way and broke your heart. I believe that there is a song says God Bless the Broken Road that led me straight to you. That is what I believe so take it for what it is worth. Good Luck and that card with the big money in it is on its way really it is.

Then there is my previous entry. It seems I have left the impression that we did not have a good time. Well it was a bit tiring and the kids did make the trip a little taxing, but it really was a great vacation. The kids loved meeting all of the character's and playing in the play areas. We miss our servers and host a lot but it was great to be able to take a trip like this. And if you see Tyler and he says "Poopy" he is not saying he is dirty he is saying "Goofy" but hey you never know what goes on underneath those costumes.

Finally, for those of you who do not know. I have a problem. It is not a drinking problem unless you count sweet tea. It is a Gaither problem. I love all things Gaither. I often fall asleep and dream that Bill Gaither is my dad. In my dream my hair is teased into that football helmet thing he wears(pretty much the same hair do my mom wears). I am singing in the vocal band with him and then I get up to sing and realize that my zipper is down or I forgot my pants and the whole thing goes wrong. I will never make it that far so I am now raising little Gaitherites. I have Kaitlyn hooked. She even has a picture of Guy Penrod framed in her room. He was her first little crush. When I am lucky enough to get to take her to school before I go to work we "bump" to the Vocal Band. Her and her mom listen to Hillary Duff(her mom's favorite :)) but not us, we are singing the latest Vocal Band song at the top of our lungs. It is great!

Well that is it for now. My wife is itching to correct some of the things that she claims I may have exaggerated. (You're right honey, I'm sorry...see Jon practice what you preach). Good night to all and y'all come back ya here!!!(When you live in the south you got to speak the language)

5 reasons not to take your kids on your vacation

2006-03-30T19:39:00.000-06:00

Well we have returned from the high seas and the boat did not sink and despite my best efforts I did not consume enough food to actually make the boat tilt to one side when I walked from side to side. First let me tell you that if you decide to take a family cruise take a Disney cruise. That is so long as you don't have children under the age of 3. Before I tell you why that is important, first let me tell you that I love my children. Kaitlyn and Tyler are gifts from God and although sometimes I wish they came with some sort of off button or some remote control with pause or rewind I would never, ever, ever trade them for anything. However, that is not to say that I am anxious to take them out on a boat and live in a 192 sq. ft room with them again either. Here are some of the reasons why I recommend leaving them with friends, relatives or just any person who is dumb enough to watch them for five days.

1) Ever seen a little girl cry? I mean a cry that would break your heart. Ever had your child cry over a couple of towels that are shaped like a turkey?? I have! My daughter Kaitlyn had a melt down as we prepared to leave our stateroom for the last time. The reason for the meltdown was that she forgot to sleep with the towel's shaped like a turkey that the stateroom host left us in the room the night before. She proceeded to sob for most of the morning over the "turkey". You would think that by the end of the morning it would be over. Oh no it was still a subject of grave concern up until she went to bed. Never underestimate the joy of children being in their own rooms. Also never underestimate how important towels shaped like a turkey can be to a 6 year old who has barely slept in the last 4 days. I did and boy did I pay for it.

2) Picture this: A 23 month old boy in a semi-formal dining room eating spaghetti and screaming every time his little tail sits down in his high chair. So in order to not be thrown out of the dining room on your first night on your cruise you allow him to stand on the front of his high chair until dinner was over. Imagine when you stand to leave realizing that he has covered the cloth table (luckily it was black) covered in sauce. Then imagine the prospect of this recurring every night for the duration of your cruise. If you don't have cold chills running up and down your arms then you have not taken your children on a family vacation. We have and we will be taking grandparents or any street bum for reinforcements in the future.

3) Can your children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews or students in your class make a noise that make the fillings in your teeth actually hurt? My son can. He can when so provoked, make a noise that can only be picked up by dogs, some cats and certain satellites. Several times on the ship I thought for sure that the squeals were going to cause the instruments to malfunction and we would end up in Indian Ocean or worse yet.......Somewhere cold like Michigan (go Bucks!!!!Love ya Holly and Jason) Imagine knowing that your wife is trying to put your son down for nap and walking down the wall and being able to hear him throwing a fit twenty-five rooms down. Can you imagine??? I don't have to because I have lived it. I don't know how Mickey Mouse can handle it with those big ears and all. I did notice that Goofy ran and hid when Tyler got close to him. Go figure.....

4) Ever timed how long it takes a 23 month old boy to climb 7 flights of stairs? I have and it takes about the same amount of time as it takes most of the people on the second deck of the Disney Wonder to begin to curse at his parents. If you wonder why he would want to do that, I only have one answer and that is because they were there. He never wanted to take the elevator and to avoid number 3 on this list we let him take the stairs. Of course by taking the stairs I mean he walked every blessed step by himself everytime. I just realized that is part of the reason my diet of cheese cake on the ship did not have the effect I was looking for. However, I did manage to pull a hamstring and twist a knee going up and down the stairs with him. However, Kristena was not even winded as she took the elevator and then tapped her foot at the bottom of the stairs as we stumbled down them. (Mom if you want to be our designated sitter better start that jazzercize class)(sorry to those of you have just pictured my mom in a workout outfit made only of Lycra)

5)To my grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles and any one who may have bought me anything I want to thank you for doing that. If I did not tell you that when you gave it to me I am sorry. I really appreciate it even if it was a baby blue missionary shirt in the wrong size when I was 16 years old and never wore it. I should have let you know that it was the thought that counts and that I appreciated the fact you thought of me. So I say that to tell you that as I parent nothing pushes my buttons faster than when you purchase something for your child and when your child receives it the exchange goes a little somthin like this (borrowed a line there from Tone Loc check your guide to the 80's folks) .

Parental Figure "Kaitlyn, mommy and daddy got you something. Do you want to see it?".
Kaitlyn: "Yes" (look of excitement)
Parental Figure: "We bought you these nice Mickey Mouse hair thingies. Do you like them?"
Kaitlyn:(look of sheer annoyance and disappointment)"oh I thought you were going to buy me the mouse ears"

Huh no gratitude, no nothing. No thank you. Did we miss it? Nope nothing at all. Just that. Have you ever seen the MTV show "Sweet Sixteen"? That is what I am afraid I have created. So we have put a moratorium on gifts. I don't want to wake up one morning and hear Kaitlyn say daddy for my birthday I wanted the red BMW not the used Mustang you bought. Or all my friends have _______ (insert something you would never buy for your child in your right mind) when are you buying me one? Oh no. We will make them stuff their beds with straw and knit their clothes before that will happen. They will look Amish before they will not show a little love when given something. ( Don't I sound hip when I say things like show a little love someone give me my props!!!!)

All of this is to say we had a great time.(can you tell) I love my family. With them there is never a dull moment. My son loved the ship and we loved when he was with the day care workers on the ship or off the ship for that matter. I love Kaitlyn even when she pouts or cries. She is all mine but I was more than willing to loan her to the folks at the Oceaneers Club whenever we could convince her to go. Thanks for stopping by. I would write more but right now I have to take my prozac, and turn on Dr. Phil and realize it could be worse I could have been dumb enough to write to him and let him show the entire world how bad I look everyday. To my family in the north spring is just around the corner....oops could that be snow in the forecast.....Can't be because it is going to be in the 80's this weekend here. Love ya!

Stop me if this has ever happened to you....

2006-03-24T12:53:00.000-06:00

My wife tells me that I crack her up because things that are embarassing to most people are to me just a part of life. And because we are for the most part family let me share a few of my most recent embarrasements: (more to follow I am sure)

Do you like to sing? I do. I love to sing. I sing in the shower, I sing in the car, I sing in the office and I often sing when I am in the bathroom at home or at work. The other day I was enjoying my aftenoon "break" in what I thought was an empty bathroom. Well it was empty what I did not realize is that the walls that separate the bathroom and the people that work for me were very thin. After making my "deposit" I walked out of the bathroom(yes mom I washed my hands first) I was greeted by most of my team standing there clapping for my wonderful performance of the Brady Bunch theme song. I took my bow and returned to my seat. I guess they must have liked it. Look out American Idol here I come!!!

As I have gotten older the little details of life seem harder to focus on. Such things as do my socks match, did I button all of the buttons on my shirt, did I put deodarant on all seem to be things that I can never remember whether I did or did not do. Most of these are harmless (unless I begin to sweat at which point a smell like a pound of hickory smoked bacon hot out of the skillet. Makes me so hungry I have to eat!) but the one thing I seem to forget the most is to zip my fly. I have walked into so many places with my zipper at half mast that it seems like I should buy those old man pants with out the fly that have the elastic waist. You know the pants they come in white, baby blue and the color of brown that looks like two day old refried beans that have dried on your plate. (for those of you who attend the Grate family reunion you have seen them) For example, I have this one pair of dockers that are so old and tired(probably from trying to hold me in them) that the zipper has simply begun to fail. What happens is when I am in a meeting and I place my hands in my pockets it causes sufficent stress that the zipper simply unzips. This can cause embarrassment when the SVP of my division points it out. Which he has done on several occasions. So if you see me in my new "big" boy pants without the zipper you will know why. I have finally embarrassed my family enough that they went out and bought them for me. I will then feel the need to pull them up to the point where the only way I will be able to see out is to unzip the zipper. I am hoping that I can get a great deal if I buy them in the spring and summer colors. Then I can be the 300 pound man in Florida with the white shoes, the canary yellow pants that are pulled up around my neck. My wife will be jealous with all the girls who will want to hit on that combination : )

Well this is my last post for a few days for those of you who want to know my wife and I are taking our kids on a Disney cruise. We are really looking forward to taking them. My wife and I are really looking forward to dropping our kids off at the daycare and the kids area for a little R&R. I am sure that this trip will yield some great stories so I will share some of them upon our return. (my mom is our emergency contact so mom if the cruise people call they have something important to tell you so please let them finish before you tell them about work!)

The last thing is for those of you who don't know my cousin's Kelley and Holly both have blog's and actually their's was the inspiration for me to start one. I was reading Kelley's blog today about her grandpa and grandma and made me think do we really let everyone know how much we care about them everyday? I know I need to do a better job about it. So if you have a family member or friend that you have a "beef" with and it is keeping you from seeing them or talking to them I am asking you to think about how short life is. We need to take every moment we have to love each other. So tell that person you are sorry for not calling even if you are not and bury the hachet. Tell them you love them and then start over. So let me start now: to my immediate family(Kristena, Kaitlyn, Tyler, mom, dad, Kim, Tom, Wayne, Samuel, Josh , Justin, Loretta, grandma, grandpa, Leslie, Sydney and Nick) I love you! To Kelly, Marsha, Andrea, Keever, Jason, Holly and all other cousins, aunts and uncles and their respective kids I love you all. To all my friends who may read this you know that I care about you all and I will always be here if you need me(meaning Jacksonville if you were real friends you would not expect me to go somewhere cold to help you would you???). And to my cousin Kelley sunny and 65 today burr sure is chilly : )

Where has the time gone....

2006-03-21T12:45:00.000-06:00

Ever had one of those moments where we remember being a lot younger. Now before my wife reminds everyone that I am a lot older than she is I really am not that old. I am 33 almost 34 but today I had moment where I felt really old. Today I got the chance to take my daughter to school. Seems harmless enough until I realized I have a daughter that is old enough that she needs to be taken to school. For those of you who have not met her she is beautiful.(just like her mommy). She is very smart and thinks I am hilarious(but really who doesn't). Her laugh makes me feel like the greatest dad ever. When she smiles she has these little dimples that just make me melt. And today I walked her to class. She held my hand all the way there and I realized how fast time flies. I can still remember when I was in school. I remember moving to my grandparents house to live. I remember going to my cousin Marsha's to spend the day on Grand Avenue and the soda stash in the fridge. I can remember sitting on the porch swing and riding bikes back and forth to the store. I remember breaking my tooth off on the back of my cousin Andrea's head. (She is getting married soon so to her soon to be husband it was accident and all her fault :)). And now I have this little girl who came into my life and I wonder how she will remember her childhood. Will she still want me to walk her to class and go on field trips with her? What will she be when she grows up? What will she say when I tell her she can not date until she is 40? When will she think I am not funny anymore and all of my jokes are just corny?

Then I look at my son and I can not believe that he is here. He is almost two and thinks that he is as big as the other kids. He knows absolutely no fear. He is just learning to talk and the first time he said "DADA" I wanted to cry. He now tries to repeat everything we say including "no way" and "nice try". These things are cute now and make me laugh but I am sure in a couple more years I will regret that.

Watching them grow reminds me that there is a God. While I understand the biology of traits and where babies come from only God could give them the gifts and traits they have now. So to all of you with kids or you aunts and uncles take a minute today to grab your kids or grandkids, nieces or nephews and remember that the are little angels and while your at it send their mom and dad a little pizza money. (never to old to ask the parents for a little pizza money)

Don't Tell me That.....

2006-03-17T12:37:00.000-06:00

If you are like me people like to tell you things you don't want to know. The basic TMI (too much information for those of you wondered). So I decided to impart my thoughts so in the future please refrain from sharing stories that are related to the following things:

1) When and if you have been able to move your bowels. Since I was a child my grandma (love you) has had a fastination with whether or not I poop. She would ask this question during dinner or whenever it would have the greatest chance of being slightly inappropraite. So if you want to tell me about your latest experience with the great bowl, please don't. While I hope it was fulfilling for you I think it will be alright if I don't know.

2) Any kind of intimate experience with your special someone. I have had friends in the past who have for some reason felt the need to share their very private lives with me(Rodney you know the story). Let's make a promise to each other(uncross everything because I am going to hold you to it) that you and I will keep these stories to: So you got 7 kids you need a hobby. ENOUGH SAID!!!!!

3) I do not want to know what color just came out of your nose.(Unless you are my child then daddy needs to know for some sick reason). I don't know how many time since I have had people reporting to me that people feel the need to tell me that they have been blowing green/brownish green/blue/fuscia stuff from the nose. That ruins may ability to eat lunch and dinner. Just tell me your under the weather and tell someone else what color the rain from your nose is. And if puss is involved send me an e-mail no need to tell me in person.(no pictures please)

4) Finally, let's not discuss politics. While I enjoy a good debate I fear that it will ruin how we feel about each other. Because if we are all honest they are all the same. They all have their own agenda and at the end of the day would change their mind for the next person to hand them enough money to get re-elected. People start the conversation in my office I tell them I voted for myself because I really believe that I have all the answers and that if they really valued their jobs they would vote for me too. Then they leave. I am not sure why. Do you???

So that is that. I not sure what set this particular thought in motion. However I would love to hear your thoughts or stories on things you would not want to hear about. In case my cuz Kelley reads this I promised to provide an on going weather report Sunny and 80 today. We are getting a cold front tomorrow though and it will only be 71 tomorrow. We will try to muddle through. Next time I will right about my wonderful, smart, gorgeous wife and my kids(did I remember it all :)). I got a great joke from my brother it took me a second to get and tell me what you think. Here it is: Skeleton walks into a bar and orders a drink and mop.( It will take a minute!!!!)

Have a great day and remember what my mom always told me JohnTomKim(she never could remember my name) whatever you do know that I don't have money for bail.

The First of Many....

2006-03-16T10:18:00.000-06:00

In response to many requests (actually none that I can document) I have decided to enter the world of blogging. While I am not sure what a blog is other than a journal open to everyone I thought that maybe this was my chance to share the wealth of knowledge that I have managed to accumulate over my vast experiences. That is to say most of my thoughts will be short. So here is my first.....

Ever had one of the moments where you wonder how much tension the average shirt can hold in before a button pops loose and literally takes out someone's eye. I work in a business casual environment and let me just share with you just because your head fits through the hole in a shirt does not mean it fits. If once the shirt is on your body and you look in mirror and it reminds you of a snake that swallowed a school bus that means you need to get the next size up. This message is for all men and woman out there. Really my wife (who looks great in everything) and I were watching a show the other night on HGTV and I feared for the people around this woman. If you turned up the volume you could actually hear the eerie sound of the material stretch as if it were about to give way kind of like if you watch a movie and as they walk across on old bridge they begin to hear the boards start to snap. You can just imagine there goes a button then there goes one of the seems then BAM the whole thing gives way and the lady on her left looses here head slapped clean off by the bottom of her shirt.(moment of silence)

For those of you who don't know I am a large person. Much larger than I would like to be but I know that so I wear items that are a little loose and do not make we(me) look like an over stuffed sausage in my clothes. Please take a moment now to invasion your self in your clothes and if any outfit you have only fits well after you have had a nasty case of the flu because you are at your thinnest then please for all of us burn that outfit.

So as I close this random rant let me tell you how great it is to share these thoughts. Keeping them all bottled up will make you crazy. Please feel free to share your stories and please refrain from sharing any stories where I may have violated these rules.